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It was helpful to me to learn more about the neurological basis of trauma (Peter Levine, Bessel van der Kolk, etc) and how trauma “hides” in the body, sometimes for years. One’s brain can be very good at cutting off damaging experiences. Perhaps others did not experience exactly what you did...

i have done it too, but in a weird way, backwards. My siblings disappeared from my life as I grew up, and my parents removed themselves from my life, by retiring hundreds of miles away when I was barely of legal age. I wasn’t invited. i worked for years to create and maintain family...

I appreciate Friday bringing up the gender thing. I don’t mean any offense to anyone, but I too think my issues resonate better with men than women and I’m glad to know I’m not alone. mine isn’t combat, just life and having to make my own way and provide everything for myself while still in my...

i think it’s evident from my comments that I‘m still processing this. it just feels so much like gaslighting. T says one thing (“I want to repair this”) and I state that I do too, then in the actual session she attacks or deflects or demeans whatever topic I want to discuss. I perhaps...

Another update. A fellow client of this same therapist, whom I met in the process group (my T encouraged me to form friendships with the group), has evidently also had a situation with this same T. She texted me that something happened between them that upset her and completely confused her...

I get that, and I agree that I should have known to bail much sooner. But it was my first group, and group was never my idea in the first place. I was making good progress in individual and she began talking about having me join one of her groups when space became available, how she loved...

An update. My T formally apologized for her actions. I’m not planning on continuing with her as she is obviously not a fit, but it is nice to have her admit she was wrong in how she handled it. Maybe the next trauma patient she has will benefit from her failure with me.

Self-compassion is good. Heaping piles of it when you need it. Embracing the hurting parts of yourself as you always should have been embraced helps you move through the experience and complete the cycle.

Going from “My childhood was okay. We had food, and nobody beat me” to the recognition that one’s parents had had a much larger role to play that they completely ignored or neglected, is a big first step. Harm to a child does not only come with bruises, and it’s okay to say that.

Part of it is undoubtedly my frustration not being expressed exactly the way she thinks it should be, and it’s more than she can contain. Rather than adddress my emotional reponse, she‘s getting offended by my tone and responds emotionally, which is just fuel to the fire. It’s like someone...

i am wondering if it’s just me or if others have this experience. I have had a year-plus therapy relationship go sour. Partly because online therapy is not the same as in person, but mostly because of what she terms “failures of empathy“ on her part. The puzzling part to me is she refuses to...

It’s not so much trust issues with me, or not wanting people. It is just the overall isolation that resulted from moving so often, frequent changes of family groups. never being near extended family, and then launching at 18, alone in a big city. People just never happened. But I completely...

I understand what you mean. My issues involve isolation and abandonment and for me, it was as if my mind always reacted with a “Yes, but” sort of defense. Like a denial that anyone could feel that way about me and mean it, not really, even if I acknowledged that they think they might feel that...