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@Dee Morris I have a small home thank goodness. I actually keep half of it closed off so I do not have to pay to heat it and because no one goes in there I can pretty much dust and clean the floors about once a month. There is a bathroom in that part of the house though and my husband messes it...

I wanted to crawl in a hole and die! I mean like when he seen my doctor he got all excited like he had seen a movie star or something. This man is very embarrassing a LOT haha. I love him to pieces and would not want a life without him, but some of the stuff he says and does just make me want to...

Hello everyone! I was away from here all day. The husband made me breakfast, and had me get ready for a field trip. He had my car serviced, took me to eat, then to grocery shop, which he never does, however he claimed if he didnt go he knew I would not eat this week. Needless to say have a...

Congrats on starting a diary! I too struggle to get what is bothering me, out there. Look at it like this... You know you need to release it, and no one here knows you personally, we actually all share a common bond.... but we do not know who you are, you are protected behind your computer and...

Solara, you are blessed I personally have CFS, and I was not aware that a high percentage of PTSD people suffer from it until I let my therapist know that I had been diagnosed and what meds were advised. ( had to let her know so she could notate for shrink so they were aware what my GP had given...

Thank You @Unraveling1 for taking the time to read what I have written. Sometimes the simple meals are the best! Many a time I have eaten the types of foods you describe ( I love a meal of fruits, or some grilled veggies) . I lost 100 pounds a couple of years ago by eating a lot of apples and...

CFS is a completely different diagnosis (disease) that being said my therapist told me that a huge percentage of PTSD patients also have CFS.

@franciemarnie yes he is. I found one, I liked, it had a corvette engine in it, a lift kit, the most awesome exhaust system I have seen in my life... I was scared to discuss with him my feeling of wanting a new truck because he is our only source of income right now. I was so shocked that he...

I am feeling loved... spouse made it home for the weekend, I mentioned that I was considering trading in my SUV because I had driven it for 8 years, I know its a very sound car but I thought it was time for a change and wanted a 4X4... spouse immediately took me to some car lots to look for a...

Random thought... Its a good thing I have no children living at home as there is no way that I could possibly keep them fed properly. On the flip side of that situation I do not eat very well when it is just myself or myself plus one. It's often too hard to cook for 1-2 so we end up having...

You figured it out! Awesome! Hang in there, Thursday will be a new start for you in your journey to feeling better. I am really having a problem hanging in there myself right now, but this place here....I promise it helps.

My husband is a excellent support too. He is the only one who keeps sticking around. I have just started back to therapy so I am not very trusting just yet. I started the journal just by going to the journals page and clicking on create new thread.

To those looing in.... I have worked so hard to personify a outward appearance as to not alert the general public that I am anything or anyone different than what they see before them. I am quite proficient in the act of being a " Chameleon " I suspect that many of us who suffer are terrific...

Welcome to the site torturedsoul7402. You will find good company here. There are many people who have religious issues, I have came across many such people so were not alone which is good to know! I know that with some of the things that come along with PTSD and trauma is sometimes thinking were...

franciemarnie, Thank you for the encouragement to keep writing. I already feel somewhat better for getting some of this out and its only the tip of iceberg. I have been accused of being "Too honest" Why would anyone want anything less? I don't understand. I refuse to lower myself to telling a...

How I see religion and lies.... Religion... Religion was forced upon me in my younger years, people who professed to be religious have caused me great grief. Most who are in he Christian communities are always saying things like "God wont put more on you than you can take" or "Put it in Gods...

You bring up a VERY interesting question. Now you have my mind wondering. I have had blackouts, the ones I am aware of are from drinking though. It is scary when you have not a clue as to things you have said or done and others seen and know. Here is what I understand about a lie detector...

With an hourglass you have to keep turning it over when the sand runs out to make the sand move again. With me I feel like someone else is in control and keeps turning the hour glass over so that the same thing happens again and again. The glass is too thick for me to break no matter how hard I...

COLD, no other word for it. And I have nothing edible in the house, or should I say anything I want so I may have to get out in this weather. Yuck

I have never seen ANYONE keep score. I believe that EVERYONE even people without PTSD have blamed someone for something, sometime in their life. But for someone to keep score, or to keep doing it... that to me looks like she WANTS to hold on things and be angry. Now that is just my opinion...

Kifira, WELWCOME! And I commend you for having the guts to tell your story. I have never told my story to anyone, some people know bits and pieces, only what I will allow them to know. I WISH I had the courage you have to share and move forward in order to heal. I love that you have sugar...

bell, I will try to get into the studio. I promise. I have walked in there a few times, I just do not feel any creativity. Maybe I will go in there and at least turn on the TV and make myself stay in there and if I do then maybe I will want to at least touch my supplies. I totally understand...

"hugs". bless you.

I faltered this evening. I purchased wine and had a bottle with my 3 begrudged bites of whatever it was I warmed up in the microwave. The wine taste like crap by the way but I still finished the bottle because I dont like wine after its been open for a period of time. I did stop at one bottle...

I've read every message and I don't see anyone saying not to take her seriously. Most likely you are referring to my post and twisting my words. And if that is the fact, then re-evaluate the words. It was stated to not take the blaming to heart.