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I can relate to the self blame. My perpetrator was an adult, but I always felt it was my fault...even more so now looking at it with adult eyes. Its hard to switch that way of thinking around when its been your reality for so long, but i'm getting there. I hope you feel comfortable to talk now...

Thank you all for your kind words and support. Sometimes it just feels like its this toxic thing inside me that I just need to get out in the open. Ive thought about writing it, but I think I need to verbalise it. I need to learn to be patient with myself. I keep expecting to just be able to...

Been seeing my T for about 6 months now. She's great. I trust her and feel totally safe with her. Today I found myself in a position where I really wanted to disclose something. To tell her the part of my abuse that absolutely cuts me to the core and makes me feel so disgusted about myself, but...

I started having acupuncture a couple of months ago and have found it to be really helpful. Its also been really interesting reading up on the different meridians that my practitioner is targeting and how they relate to all the different emotions I've been feeling leading up to the appointment.

I started trail running a few months ago. Being out in nature, hearing the sound of my feet on the gravel, focussing on my breathing seems to really help me. Also recently when I wake up from nightmares I've been lying in bed for a while playing guitar. Not sure if its having to focus on what...

Thank you both for your replies. It makes me feel a bit better that I'm not alone in this. I only brought up 'the wall' with my T last session because I've been too scared to talk about it. She knows I zone out, as sometimes in a hard session it happens, but i'd never discussed what goes on...

I tend to zone out quite a bit if I'm stressed, really tired or just feeling triggered in some way. There are some times where I'm just staring off into nothing, and it almost feels like a wall goes up behind my eyes...but behind the wall its like theres something playing out. The only way I...