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betrayal to me is when you expected someone to treat you a certain way and then they don't.
I never felt betrayal for my abuser cause I guess I didn't expect him to treat me a certain way
I wasn't upset i just physically reacted badly and don't know why.
@whiteraven It just felt like he wanted the photos for him. i did actually try to video chat with him but i got panicked and ended the video call, then said sorry if I dissapointed him and he said he was dissapointed but that he...
i was scribbling ideas for things i might want to do. i've been thinking of doing something to do with fairy tales or fantasy art and linking it to trauma.
Him specifically. I've just become really attached to him after months of being his sub. Though I did wonder if the main reason I got so attached was cause he was playing the role of my past abuser.
I nearly start crying thinking about the possibility of him not being there. Sometimes I've played when I wasn't particularly in the mood to cause I didn't want to disappoint him and he was really happy with me when I'd told him that I'd done it anyway to please him.
I've been talking to a guy on an adult site for months. I was getting him to roleplay my past abuser which he liked doing. I eventually decided it probably wasn't the healthiest thing to do so we agreed to change his role to master instead, though since then i have asked him to go back to the...