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@Abraxas Sorry for only coming back at you now. Why do you take it with vinegar? A quick google search offered no help. And totally agreed about what you said. The problems with kratom only come when people are chasing a high. Also there is a bit of fear mongering going around about withdrawels...

Thank you @FridayJones. Sorry for being unclear. They mean their doctor that is in charge of my case. Thanks for calming my nerves :)

Hello So, end of December I went to an introductory meeting in this supposedly great day-clinic that is specialized on trauma. They do an intensive out-patient 40 hours a week program. It was a wonderful meeting and after many disastrous experience I felt very understood there. They said...

@Ragdoll Circus I strongly believe that I am going "Three steps forward, two steps back." This has really helped me accept and contextualize the shitty times. Then I understood that I am like an electron and I can either know my momentum or my position, never both. Uncertainty Principle...

There are some great essay on this site. One about "Distorted Thinking" and one about "Criticism." If you feel better and/or want to learn about what is going on with you and why you wrote this thread, it would be a great great starting point. Just know, you are not insane. There are answers...

Thank you so much guys. Reading your responses had a big emotional impact on me. Thank you! :hug: :hug: :hug:

@sun seeker Thanks for writing that. Helps me understand why there are a few events in my youth that I know happened, just not whom they happened too, me or my brothers.

Very much. About three times a week I go to my partner and tell him. "I don't think I have PTSD. Its ridiculous. I am just a bad person." to which he will answer. "No honey, you are not. Why do you think this?" "Because it was not so bad." "They why is your brother no longer around?" It is a...

Scared. Because I am better at being angry then most. I will get angrier. I will get louder. I will win. So I distance myself from angry people. I cannot allow them to infect me with their anger. It's unhealthy for me.

Hello. This is difficult to write, as on one level I feel pretty worthless and stupid, but I can also recognize that I did great and I want to focus on that. Last year I generally did great, it was a good year for me, but end of December some new, and permanent, stressors entered my life and...

If you had asked me two years ago I would have laughed and said "I don't have trust issues." Since then I have learned that my definition of trust was so distorted and perverted that I had no clue what that word even meant.

So, I have had two very bad months. You know, when everything is so awful that the few times one is not utterly numb one desperately wished one were. I don't even dare to hope that time is over now, but today I can think. For weeks now I have felt nothing but terror and confused hate and...

I am doing better now. Sorry for not responding earlier. I tend to turtle up during difficult times. Your words of encouragement meant the world to me. Thank you all so very much. They really, really helped. A lot.

I feel you. My timeline doesn't make a lick of sense. Years bleed into years, and all my reference points dont fit together. I know A happened before B, and C after B. Except, I also know I was talking about A during C. Wierd, scary and super annoying. Makes one feel like a liar, doesn't...

I am not really here. I am in a place long gone by. I want to go home now. But the past has its dirty claws in me. All the bad that happened seems so much more real then any of the good that followed. Sometimes there is no escaping memories. I feel now like I have felt back then. Helpless...

Is it his hobby or his profession?

My whole life I was taught I was very, very stupid and I learned and memorized it . It was yelled at me until I cried. I apologized for it, but it was not forgiven. My "caregiver" told me it was because of my stupidity that my mother gave me away to her, and she would too if I didn't try...

There is a big gulf between a religion and their fundamental splinter. To be critical of one is not necessarily to be critical of the other. I loath fundamentalism, having spent years working with young people infested by it. I also don't believe in cultural relativism.

It is so repulsive what happened and how its NOT being dealt with. Have nothing to add, but you certainly have my sympathies. As a gay man, who are being targeted as well, I feel very anxious about this too. Cannot imagine how stressed out this must make you, as your anxiety is much less...

@greenleaf Thank you so much. Your post helped a lot. I read him to my partner and it was the fundament for a great discussion. A few days have passed and we worked through it. We are okay, if shaky. We talked a lot, a lot lot lot, and learned as much. Reading what I wrote now, I think "Holy...

So, I am the one with PTSD. I am making progress and I work hard on myself. My partner makes zero progress for years, and yesterday was the point I could not take it anymore. He is become such a lazy, spoiled, slacking child, while I try hard to become a grown up everyday. This year it has...

Hello, so wednesday I have a super important meeting with a outpatient clinic, specialised on trauma. The only one I could go to. I am going crazy. Cannot think, cannot feel, but have these terrible emotions and thoughts. I am so super f*cking sure I am just a insane, lazy, slacker crybaby...

That worked very, very well for my husbear and me! One of my favorite moments in the show was in Episode 3, when Trish asked Jessica "I hate this feeling. How do you handle this?" and Jessica responded "It's called whiskey." Their first meeting was a very difficult thing to see, for me. It was...

The article helped me so much to talk about PTSD with my partner. My trauma comes from a different place, but as it turns out abuse by narcissists is abuse by narcissists. I feel the show + artilce + conversation really helped him get a feeling for my situation, and I have learned lots new words...

I loved loved loved loved Jessica Jones. Everybody in that show is severly f*cked up. I felt at home. Thanks for the link!