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My mom is kind of like yours. She depended on me emotionally while I was growing up (NOT healthy!), and always guilted me into "being nice" and following her rules. I didn't realize how completely co-dependent my mother is until I started moving out and being around other people for a change...

I absolutely love my awesome T's office. I'm hoping his recent health issues don't mean he loses the office he was in, because the in-house dojo was a great touch! Honestly, the guy has a great sense of Feng Shui, so the energy is really good there. However, my new T's office is very cluttered...

AAAAAANNNNDDD, I was right...got pulled into a meeting with the guy who runs the office here, there have been complaints from coworkers that I'm not working enough. The number's pulled substantiate that claim. My immediate supervisor understands how hard I work to accomplish what I actually do...

When I'm with my awesome T back home, I go to regular therapy once a week, and once a week I go to his Ki-Aikido class as part of my therapy. I would love to be able to add a sports massage once a week to that schedule, but we'll see how finances shape up when I go back. Right now, in the rural...

Good news, some of the applications I've sent in back home are starting to answer back. I have a phone appointment with a place just 20 minutes from my parents! I'd have to live with them again, but I'd be with my dogs, I'd have my awesome therapist back, I'd be able to hang out with my friends...

I appreciate that my T back home: -is willing to be the caring parent-figure when I need him to be -works on my pathological rigidness with boundaries in a safe way, showing me its ok to fudge the lines a little, without anyone dying for it -is an amazing hugger -makes himself available, but...

Even growing up in a Christian cult, I've always felt a deep connection to Nature. I have this ability to converse psychically with dogs, and recently I've been able to hear the conversations of the trees. One day, I even felt the Earth crying because of the damage done to it (I was in a big...

For self-love, I always recommend "Living with an Open Heart" by Russel Kolts and Thubten Chodron. All about learning compassion, both with yourself and others. Life-changing book! Sorry I can't help you with horror books, not my genre. Good luck finding something though!

I just took that SAGE test....interesting results! Said I was a good candidate for Gender Reassignment Surgery. Not something I think I'd ever go through with completely, but it does sound interesting!

Mine was taken from the Bible verse about rising up on Eagle's Wings. At the time, it seemed appropriate. Now, I still like the symbolism, but since I currently detest ANYTHING having to do with Christianity/Bible stuff, I'm thinking of changing it. To what, I don't know. Most of my real-life...

Biologically, I'm female, but I've never really felt like that...always felt more masculine than feminine. I would have chosen Transgender if that had been an option, but non-binary/gender fluid works too. I've just very recently become comfortable with the fact that I am not "FEMALE" in the...

@ground crew I have a group like that, but only in the Big City, which I can only visit once a month. I'm part of meetup for local stuff, but there's really nothing useful in my little rural town. I have books and recordings, but nothing I can actually do regularly with other people. I know I...

Thanks for the support, everyone. Turns out I'm wracked with guilt over my awesome T's cancer (horrific nightmares last night, bad enough to actually email him about them. He responded today and will let me know about session availability next week). I've been crying all day long, can't get the...

I recently made a multi-state move for a job. It's been a real learning experience for several reasons. 1) I didn't finish my therapy, but I really didn't have a choice in moving. I had been out of work for over a year, so took the first job that came along (in a different state). One of the...

The new job has been such a great experience, until lately. Apparently, my Asperger's and PTSD issues have pissed off a co-worker, who is now giving me tons of attitude and lots of snippy comments. Today I just couldn't say ANYTHING to anyone without it being socially inappropriate somehow...

My T in my former city (who I still consider my primary T) I see as a professional, a spiritual mentor, and the model of relationality I never experienced growing up. Sometimes he's a father figure, sometimes he's a mentor on our shared spiritual pursuits, Senpai in the Martial Arts, usually...

I kinda feel like chiming in on this one. NYE is the anniversary of a very dear friend's suicide. I woke up to nightmares this morning, and have been extremely depressed and tearful all day. I know why, so I just let the emotions flow, and know that things will be better tomorrow, but it sucks...

I'm also on the Spectrum, Asperger's specifically. It wasn't until I really understood that aspect of my mental life that the rest of my development and social difficulties started to make sense. It was a huge relief to find out about this missing piece of the puzzle, and I had to really fight...

I've had autoimmune hypothyroid since I was 16, and when I was 30 I developed Adrenal Fatigue due to previously unrecognized issues. Because I'm so sensitive to prescribed medications, I found a whole dessicated thyroid supplement that is non-prescription, but works better than medication! They...

Yep, texting is only used for appointments and absolute emergencies/crises. I email more than I text, but when I do text him, he answers at least once.

I was finally officially diagnosed with ASD (Asperger's to me!) last year. Its been a huge load off my mind to have that in the records. Now I still have trouble figuring out what's Aspie-ness and what's PTSD, but it sure is getting easier. But the best work I've done with my therapist involved...

I love my T's big leather couch, and the way he'd sometimes slip his shoes off and just drape himself over his big leather chair the same way I'd stretched out on the couch. I love the way he tried really hard at the beginning to establish rapport, even though we really didn't have to work so...

Man...I was one of those kids....and I read those books on my parents' shelf when I was 9 years old, trying to figure out exactly WHAT my folks wanted from me! I thought my parents were doing the right thing, and I was just a bad kid...now I know better, but I still don't know any other way of...

Humans are designed to need attachments. I'd say make a new one. It won't be the same, but it will still be educational, and so beneficial if you find another good T. Give yourself the time and space to grieve the loss of the old one, yes, but you can use that as a launching pad for the next...

I totally understand what you're saying, @Fenway0823 except I'm the opposite as far as needing female nurturance. My mother was exceptionally clingy and free with the physical affection, but only when SHE needed it. My dad, however, was completely non-affectionate in any way, and all touch was...