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@Strangelongtrip I really relate to this. I think not only did I feel I wasn't worthy of being loved and cared for, it was like I felt as though I needed to earn the bits of love, kindness and affection I did receive. Any guy I met that treated me like a lady and was sweet and carrying towards...

Thank you so much. I will add them to my collection. @berlinda Thank you so much. I will start adding them to my collection ?

I can't seem to remember what I read in the last sentence. It's been so difficult for me to read and comprehend what I've read. But some books were suggested by my t so I've been using audible and being read to. It is so much easier to understand. I just listened to an absolutely amazing book by...

Thank you for responding. And yes I did see my therapist. My therapist said it called depersonalization. And basically, the memory is still too much/hard for me to deal with and it's a defense mechanism. We tried to process the memory in EMDR so it wouldn't effect me so intensely but my mind...

So I've been doing EMDR for about 2-2 1/2 months now, to try to deal with and heal from a lot of childhood emotional neglect and verbal abuse and severe childhood sexual abuse. I dissociated when being abused and I still do it as an adult. I totally know what it's all about. I never forgot...