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I was sexually abused as a child and while growing up, and had my symptoms including depression very early. The classic startle response, everyone could see i have it as early as my university days when it was getting worse. But only realize it after jobless for six years and including hiding...

Take it easy one step at a time, it is very difficult at first. I was having PTSD and depression while i was working and it was really very hard, and then i lost my job for six years already, and have not left my house coming to 3 years. It is definitely not easy, not hard but super hard, but I...

Wishing you all the best :)

Thanks for all your support, I will try my best. :)

Thanks :) I will try my best for the 1%.

Recently a Taiwanese writer committed suicide by hanging, because of her childhood sexual abuse, her death prompted me to realise that: If I continue to be in my depression and PTSD avoidance (6 years of unemployment, cropped up in my house, coming to 3 years without going out), I have a high...

"One of his biggest achievement in my eyes, which often goes under the radar, is having the same haircut for so long," tweeted Barton. "It must be incredibly tough to ignore the trends and stick with the tried and tested 'no 2 on the top and 1 on the sides' for over a decade. "The highest...

In the year, 2008, Gump saw Fabregas in Arsenal and decided to support Spain. Before that, Spain had never won any title for 44 years. Then one day, God showed Gump a vision. Of Forrest Gump's Jersey being the number 44. And then of Saint James who died in 44 AD. And then of Spain not winning...

Gump was born to abusive parents and you can read about his sexual and physical abuses here and Link Removed. Then one day God gave him the power to create miracles Link Removed and Link Removed. And Gump received the Angel wings from God, and Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ showed him the...

Once upon a time, there was Gump. And his friends. The Miraculous Archangel Gump & Friends by BeyondRepair posted May 5, 2015 at 12:34 AM To be continued...

Thanks @Nighthawk I already did, its in the Trauma Diaries

2015-03-09 11:50 AM It was sunny and bright awhile ago, and after my update above it began pouring with heavy rain. Let me give thanks to somebody above, who must also be the reason why I am still alive after so many decades of walking and walking. And as I am typing this, the downpour...

2015-03-09 Chronicles of Pain Physical Abuses I had endured - Having my right thumb severed by my biological father, my right thumb is unable to bend and the stitches can be seen even after 35+ years - Tied to the window and burnt with matchsticks by my biological mother, while my biological...

Yes I want to go out, but the "ambush" is killing me, and the assessment of every single person that i come across. I don't know when it can be "turned off", sometimes i think its impossible. I still will try to live a meaningful life but I am like giving up on this aspect of PTSD. From curing...

Thanks Otakujome for the :hug:, it's really good feeling to have someone who understands. Same here, i get very nervous when people are behind me, in restaurants, or in the office setting where as long as my back is not against the wall. Even if so, the startle responses will also wreck me. So...

Thanks @intothelight , all of the time for the past 14 years I have been walking the lonely road, although times I got people with me like in the workplace (which was terrible for me with all the people due to my PTSD), I cannot connect with anyone, including my wife's side of the family. EDIT...

Just took some painkiller due to startle response, which happens everyday. This time round, I was not angry, because I am able to attach the incidence to my PTSD. It helps alot. But the startle responses over 14 years puts a strain on my inner muscles around the skull, so I take painkillers to...

This is the spreadsheet I came up with to deal with PTSD reactions and triggers. After talking to my wife about my fears and reactions, I learnt anger management and how to separate the startle reactions from activating it. This is very important for my well-being. So here it goes: SOP_1 by...

I don't understand why the millitary calls me back to the reservist unit after 10 long years. It's kinda strange as most people get called back within 1-2 years unless we are active. The range sergeant who saw my 3 rounds, he asked me if he could keep the target paper as a souvenir. Still brings...

Thanks for the responses and concern, it really mean alot to me consider I feel alone and isolated for most parts of my life. Again the Green Day song "Boulevard of broken dreams" accurately describes most of my 42 years of life. When I was going to take the A'Level examinations, which...

2015 March 07th 3:02 AM - I was reading @Candleflames post, and on his dad's reaction when he made a taco shape. Thanks Candleflames, because it made me recall. When I was a little kid, I folded a paper together, and drew a nice house with the whole family, and you could open the windows and...

At one instance around 2007, they had me on this medication, which made my left eye for no reason move all the way into the inside of my eye very close to the nose, taking these crap stuff actually made it worst rather than making it better. One of my colleagues actually saw this and I think it...

I really hope I can find a place to be with people inflicted with PTSD like me, and if my condition acts up and I began to talk strangely, then please know that its not me, its my training tell me to evaluate and assess intelligence of my opponent. And if I just leave, like before countless...

Thank you so much for your replies. Sometimes, actually most of the time, I think my country is trying to hurt me instead of help me. Which is why i made the decision to leave one day. I found out only last november after the store smash up, that talking and revealing my true feelings helps...

Hi everyone, I'm 41 years old guy coming to 42 this year. This is going to be a long, long post I think. Ok here I go. At the young age of 27, which was 15 years ago, I was considered to be pretty good at what I was doing. I'm one of the few people who managed to get a start-up going, doing...