Search results

I feel like i do nothing on here except whine and moan constantly, but it seems like that's all my life has been since the flashbacks started. Every time I start to catch my breath, I have another flashback. I whined at my T tonight that I want to go back to "when I didn't have flashbacks and...

That's exactly what I do every flashback... I forget everything right after I relive it, so I started writing stuff down as I'm remembering it since August... I've learned that I can type even when I'm sobbing so badly that I can't even see the keyboard... Writing stuff down is the only way I...

I read your response about 10 minutes before my EMDR session... and tried to follow your example and not fight stuff... It definitely brought up stuff... and then, about three hours later, I remembered even more stuff... It really is doing a number on me... I'm exhausted... Gonna be an early...

Exactly. There are all kinds of people on here who seem to be floating along fine. (OK, compared to me there are a lot that seem to be...) I guess as long as I'm still kind of floating, then I'm going in the right direction... (Why did I start the whole boat metaphor?) I've only just done one...

I keep telling myself that... Luckily, I can discuss it with EMDR T this afternoon, or my normal T on Thursday... I think part of it is that I only met the psychiatrist once, and she knows everything about me - I signed a form to let my T and her share all his info... Which is a good thing, but...

I wish neither one of us had to feel it, but it helps knowing you get what I'm talking about, @somerandomguy

This afternoon I have EMDR. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing right now. I’m trying to just accept that everything is out of my control and it’s ok. It just feels the more I deal with the abuse, the more confused, lost and overwhelming it all seems. I wish I had the...

I’m always amazed when I find out that a lot of my reactions aren’t really unusual. Just knowing you had the same reaction helps, @TTC18. About an hour after I wrote on here, I ended up in a flashback for hours. I’m starting to think that maybe I was already in some kind of flashback. I...

Very strange morning... I went to the gym this morning to work out, and I think I saw my new psychiatrist working out! Totally freaked me out, and I'm still not quite sure why... Maybe because the gym was the one place where I didn't have to think about my messed up life? I managed to do a...

I've been taking 22.5mg 2x daily for about a year... I've always heard it takes a couple of months to take effect... I was just talking with my psychiatrist about it last week. I still can't tell if it's doing anything... She told me to figure it out, you have to taper off and see if you...

Me too! Dealing with all of this seems insane sometimes...

Yeah, that's true... Took forever to start dealing with it, but my brain was just ready to finally deal with it I guess. And glad you checked out my rambling stuff on here, @SophiaWisdom ! ?

The other interesting thing about last week was I finally went to see a new psychiatrist about my meds... It turns out my old psychiatrist had been giving me DOUBLE the amount of Adderall than you're supposed to take for my ADHD... The new psychiatrist asked if I had ever thought about taking...

It seems like forever since I was last on here... Wednesday's EMDR was interesting... We had been preparing for weeks and we finally started doing a bit of reprocessing... About two hours after therapy, I realized I was in a really good mood.... which somehow transitioned into being totally...

If your driving happens to be on a holiday at 3:00 in the morning, LA freeways are great! ? Now that I'm feeling relatively good, I get to go to EMDR on Wednesday and be thrown back into flashback hell... But it's all good... If I don't relive it, I'm not gonna get over it...

It feels like a million years since I wrote on here... Friday, I drove to Vegas to meet a cousin from home who flew in for a week's vacation... Driving takes about 4 hours if you're lucky, and there was traffic everywhere, but for some reason I was pretty laid back driving... I made it all...

Especially when you've been ignoring them for 50 years or so! I don't feel quite as desperate today, but I'm definitely glad I'm going to therapy... I don't know how I ended up with such an amazing therapist. I think he's the first person I've ever been able to truly trust. ?

I still go over it in my mind... I woke up several times last night thinking about it, but during the day so far, only a few times... Luckily I have therapy in a few hours I wrote my therapist about everything and he wrote back saying he'd figure things out with the insurance company... That on...

I’ll figure out this place eventually. I probably should write in the other forums... I just realized there are all kinds of topics, not just people's diaries... I'll have it all figured out around the time I'm over everything ? It's OK that nobody was around... I can now see that the accident...

I was desperate when I wrote the stuff earlier... I even tried going to the Chat because it said there were 2 people there. I guess your name stays when you leave? Anyway, there was no one... I emailed my therapist and told him I don't care if I have to pay for once, I really need to go see...

EMDR was good.... and I made it to my trainer... When I finished working out, I jumped in the car drove about two blocks and there were two guys trying to help a bicyclist who had been hit by a van. They dragged his bike to the side and were bringing him to the side of the road... The guy...

OK.. new day.... I still have EMDR today - don't know if insurance will cover it, but I'll figure it out when they try to deny paying later... And going to work out with my trainer... It's strange, even in the middle of life falling apart, I'm still committed to working out at least...

. A bit... sort of..... Yeah, I should work on that... Good point. A couple of times today I thought about what a great time I had. ? Going to go to bed. Things might look more positive in the light of day...

I have no idea how insurance companies work... They did this to me in the summer, and I couldn't go to therapy for close to a month until they agreed to pay for more sessions. They paid it retroactively, but I went through hell waiting to see... They probably would have covered sessions until...

Christmas. f*cking shit day. Yesterday, I got a letter from my insurance telling me I had run out of therapy sessions that are covered. And it started weeks ago, so I now have to f*cking pay for three sessions that I went to thinking they were covered. And I'm supposed to go to my...