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I'm frustrated at not feeling emotions, I haven't had one strong enough to post about lately but it's habit to come to this thread.

Uncomfortable, mostly body aches. Surgery went well, no pain from that, just the muscles and joints and everything else hurts. Also uncomfortable with being moody but I'm smart enough to distract myself from thinking about that right now. I just can't get comfy.

I can't feel any feelings, probably went numb in reaction to my fears about all the medical fun stuff this week. MD today, hopefully the hospital sent reports and she'll understand that I can only poked and prodded gently.

@gizmo Coffee, donuts and a friend like you? Thanks for being awesome. Yesterday I wasn't sure if I'd taken my morning meds, but to err on the side of caution I did not take them in case I was wrong. Nope, I was right. Today I'm amused that not trusting my gut feeling has resulted in stomach...

aww geez, it'd take me two days to figure how to tag all of ya but thank you- thank you soo much. I'm trying to patiently wait for a surgical consultation on the 18th. I'm tired, wore myself out trying to do a little more each day and not letting the ouch and ache clue me in that no, it's...

Thanks for being there and hugs, hugs, more hugs and cookies with coffee or tea or cocoa for everyone. I'm still in shock. On Thursday/Friday the ER called in enough consults and doctors that one was finally able to tell me what was wrong- I've smuggled a tumor of unusual size past years of...

Thanks @Lionheart777 and @Cashew Meds and bed and I'll give it another few tries tomorrow.

The shaking after speaking to my mother beyond a brief check-in has become nausea. She's eager to repress things. I won't even bother trying to explain that to her. Maybe I don't need to work on how to process this anger, maybe I need to accept that some people are just balls of negativity.

It's changing roughly every five to ten minutes. Mostly sad with brief flecks of anger, which is a fairly new thing. I'm afraid of it, I never got to learn about being angry so I'm afraid I'm going to mess up and do something unhealthy. Freeze isn't the best answer to that, but it's what I've...

Thank you @gizmo for knowing I'd need donuts, wish I could hug you a dozen times and share a several pots of coffee. I'm scared, told mom that I'm angry with her and don't want to talk. Pieced together that her nagging on the phone earlier in the day was a factor in my panic thing later on...

I'm embarrassed and I hate myself. Had plans, fun dinner out for a friend's birthday at a place nearby that I've heard nothing but good things about. Burst into tears in the process of getting ready to go, can't stop crying, I'll embarrass everyone if I go and I'm so sick of this. I keep...

I'm confused that it's been nearly a full week since I clicked on this thread, it's one of the most helpful on the whole forum for me. I feel like I should be feeling something. I'm aware of the numb distance and trying to remember how to get my me back into myself.

Well, you're posting about it, that's a great step to take. It's totally okay to limit what details you offer to anyone. That's a healthy thing, you're doing really good at that. Was the baby born recently? I know I've seen something about there being greatly increased odds of depression...

Worrying that the fatigue and sinus funk are the miserable sickness that's had me worried about a friend. If I caught her cooties I'll cut out the middle steps and proceed directly to the hospital, I'll end up there anyhow. What if I got someone sick? My memory and sense of time is too off to...

Slight bit of what I think might be lonely, but not enough to be mom's escape excuse to get away from my father. I'm sure she made a conscious decision to be in her situation. I chose differently. This moment of loneliness will pass, I'm already veering towards gratitude that I've created a...

I'm pretty defeated. Tried to go somewhere just to get out of the house, didn't make it out of the neighborhood before I turned back and came home. Sick to my stomach with disgust at myself.

Thanks for the hugs- I'll get used to it soon, the weird is just temporary. Something is working, I'm going to tend to chores outside and I'm not nervous. That's new. Still taking a knife with me, but I need that stainless steel security blanket less and less often.

Can't recall who I was going to reply to or about what, but something to @ someone. Forgetting a lot, final increase on a new med so I'll give it a couple days and see if I'm still woozy, wobbly and having a bit too much fun with it. Until then I'm avoiding everyone and everything, I'm too...

I hope you're doing better today, maybe got some sleep? Negative nasty comes in all sizes, but there's ways to get out of that yucky place. Maybe look at some the threads on coping skills, it's where I found ideas of what to try until I figured out which ones work for me.

Eh. It's new meds again, I know better than to attempt anything until I get settled into the target dosage. Hopefully I'll stabilize at this dose long enough to go out tomorrow and restock on supplies. I'm out of doughnuts.

I feel embarrassed about how long I tried to figure out how I'm feeling and still couldn't really answer.

I'm amazed- I saw logic in 'long term' benefits in regards to myself and therapy. That future stuff isn't an 'if' anymore, that's a strange new thing and those confuse me.

Glad my close family/friends people understand 'meds change' means something is off. I'm going to enjoy the wobbly bobble-head on a magic carpet ride thing, it's kind of on the common side effects list and I'm pretty sure it's temporary. Until then it's super awesome, I won't drive but I might...

I'm baffled, I'm not sure how I got my mother to comprehend or at least sound like she comprehends that I'm exhausted from struggling with the bare minimum basics of life. It was strange and felt funny so I think I might've done something healthy.

I tried crying then sobbing, not much changed. Then I tried screaming. I think it helped. It's a new thing, wasn't even sure I could make that sound, but I think I'll shriek a few more times today and see if anything gets easier.