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I'll make this one short and to the point: I feel like everything I do is wrong. I don't know if my wife is making me feel that way, or if I'm making myself feel that way by projecting my own internalized judgements onto her. Each is Plausible. Any thoughts?

First I tend to plan my tasks 1 by 1. Depending on the task I will either make a simple plan like a cut off time before which I have to complete it. For more complexed tasks I plan a bit more in depth, but it usually still coresponds with a time, a set lenth of time, or amount of time per day...

I have had similar experiences. For me I think the object has become my wedding ring. Regardless of what I am feeling about my relationship with my wife at the moment, fiddling with my wedding ring seems to hell me feel more stable in a lot of situations. If an unloaded gun helps you get...

Hello. So I'm having some surgery monday. The last time I was in the presence of this particular surgeon I almost fainted (flop sweat, dizzyness, clouded vision, had to lay down) at the sight of my own cat scan, combined with talking about the surgical plan. It's odd, I don't even flinch at...

In all fairness, I should mention most of these things do not happen constantly, it's more evident now cause we're having money issues. I do still love her too. It's just frustrating because I don't know what to expect.

Wish I had a good answer to that, it mostly comes down to that the thought of hurting her hurts. I could come up with a number of logistical reasons that would just be a pain like going through a divorce, and have to move back to my mom's in another state but those aren't really reasons.

Working on the therapist, I had one, then she left the practice, and it was a hastle finding getting a new one in the same practice and then I got new insurance in january and the local counseling office doesn't accept it. Now we're working on a sliding scale, but I hope to be able to keep my...

I never know what catagories to post under, discussions is kind of my default. By the deffinition of multiple books, and web sources, my wife is emotionally abusive. I could go on about specific examples, but she gaslights me all the time, she minimizes when I having a hard time with anything...

No worries from me, post all you need. I often worry I'm posting too much.

I don't think I've had a place I considered home since I was a kid. Mostly growing up I had my mom's house where my brother treat me like crap, and my dad's where his girlfriend's son treat me like crap. Then I had a bunch of temporary homes in my 20's, and now I have a place where my wife...

By the descrptions i'm reading my wife is gaslighting me all the time, and her mom is gaslighting her all the time, and I'm pretty sure my wife's mom's husband is gaslighting my wife's mother. I'm pretty sure I'm gaslighting myself too. I feel crazy.

I'm already still on meds, and i'm trying to work out something with the local mental health clinic to get back into counseling cause they don't take my new insurance. (Been in counseling till my previous counselor left, and this new insurance started) Thank you for the support. I also need...

Around 2011 I slipped into a major depressive episode, and it took 2 years to regain any functionality. Since then I've gotten married to a woman who has a child with autism. Lately a lot of stressors have been building up: Money, work, childcare, being without a counselor, surgery later this...

My ptsd feels like I'm screaming louder, and louder in my head, while my actual voice gets softer, and more mumbly. Feels like I'm struggling to find anything to cling to to remind me who I really am. Like throughout my life people have taken away tiny pieces of myself bit by bit and I don't...

They happen to be in network with a specialty surgeon that's operating on me later this month. And it's really half insurance half state. The company is specific to MA and NH, and there wouldn't be as many state restrictions if I lived in MA, I used to live there lol...

Thanks, and I checked, its strictly in-network. I think i need a new pcp too

Yeah I wouldn't be able to get on my wife's insurance for another couple months. I don't think they do sliding scales. I'll tell you New Hampshire isn't exactly known for it's mental health services. Turns out there were some other clinics that accept my new insurance, but they couldn't take...

Hello I found out my place where my counselor works doesn't accept my new insurance, and on top of thant the closest mental health provider that does accept that insurance in close to 80 miles away. I can try and get on my wife's insurance, but that will take time, and I have heard that it's...

I can relate. My abuse was mostly in the emotional relm. My wife was physically abused regularly throughout childhood up through her 5 year first marraige. When I express frustration with life she has no problem reminding me that she's had it worse. However when she talks about it in a more...

I have been accused of being a "Downer". People teeling me I look unhappy, when I'm really just calling things how I see them. In college, when I drank more, I was accused of "Killing people's buzz". Right now I'm married to someone who regularly chastizes me for not smiling because it...

Thank you everyone for your responses, and yes I do have to work on boundaries.

Yes I'm trying to take care of myself, and I'm doing what I can to get her to a counselor, or anyone really, she doesnt have so many people she confides in other than me.

I've broached the subject of couples therapy before, before we got married. She just got defensive, and said: "Why do you think we need it!" in a very abrupt sort of way, and I backed off. I'm so glad winter break is over and she's back at work. (Works at a school). Last night she was...

She sees any discussion of her as harsh criticizem, and she gets defensive, no matter how delicately I try to approach the subject. I then end up apologizing... a lot. When she's in a bad mood she tell's me I hate her, and want to leave her. When she's in a good mood she sometimes throws...

Thank you for the replies. I might just take a look at that book.