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I also described it as a kidnapping where I wanted to beat up the kidnapper, which was him.

I've decided to move on. I tried to contact L one last time about a month ago to tell him I couldn't stay in a place where someone would literally throw me a way, but I forgave him and would leave the door open if he needed to talk. (I do not believe in robbing people of a chance to at least...

Sorry it didn't work out for you. I hope a friendship would be possible if it benefits the two of you. I know it's hard to get to this point.

I guess I'm confused now. He talked to my best friend and said that's what he would do.

Establishing a breakup is not the same as repeating a cycle. We are taking steps to end this. Everyone grieves differently. It will take time to process...during which time I might post my thoughts.

Thank you for reaching out @PreciousChild Just waiting on a breakup email that may never come

In the very same boat here. Just waiting on the breakup email. Which I was told is coming....(that's what he told my friend anyway...). It may never even come.

So I’m still waiting for him to contact me which he says he’s going to do. My best friend says that she thinks he just wants to be friends now because he can’t handle an emotional component of a relationship right now. A lot of it has to do with starting his new job where he has to deal with...

He never asked for no contact. He just stopped replying.

He reached out to my best friend today. Posted the update to the "Rough Day thread"

Update on this issue. He contacted my best friend, whom he also has met and has contact information for already. He's extremely stressed and embarrassed about his situation. Details are forthcoming...but it was indeed...."not me"

9 months isn't that long, but it represented about a year in my life and a year in his. It is what it is and I at least deserve a good bye.

Since I understood he had gone dark (with me) I only started reaching out about once a week,,,in a hope it would be a good day and he'd decide to reconnect. At some point I think my messages are going to become harassment, though. I'm not being mean in my messages, just asking if we can talk...

Yeah. Didn't think so. This guy is a real puzzle.

OK. He told me once he felt safe with me. I thought that was huge. Maybe it was just lip service. Thank you for your hugs. Back at you.

Tonight I wrote another shorter letter… I wanted to remind him of some good things. This is one I would actually send if I thought it would do anything positive. But as some of you have already explained as suffers you are numb and would probably just hit delete. Letter writing seems to be...

@DebP was kind enough to remind me to turn my attention to myself today. I needed to do some self care. I had actually gotten so down I didn't want to leave the house. My thoughts should always be to take care of myself first that's a big job already.

It sounds like no matter what I send it will not be received. What is it exactly that would bring you out of one of these numb phases? (I have more letters I've written to share) but want your perspective on what eventually brings you out?

Thank you for your thoughts/reactions @EveHarrington and @Junebug

I am sorry you are feeling sad, @DebP. I feel for you. I have had dreams almost every week about him. He never leaves my head.

I can't figure out the messages either! Maybe someone can give us a link for help? You are welcome to post on my wall: Pippi427

Here is a paraphrased version of the letter my friend, we'll call Sara wants to send: (Names have been changed). [Background....Sara is an acquaintance of L as well through me. She is an Army wife with lots of experience dealing with a spouse with full blown PTSD.]

Same here. He's a government worker and carries a gun. He was getting help before he started his job. I'm afraid he's regressed.

Thank you for your perspective. It helps me see it as a self-protective mechanism and not indicative of the fact that I failed some how. I hope you have less reason to push in the future. I know it can't be something you really want.

Yes, please.