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I don't see your words as harsh @grit I am just trying to understand the situation. I don't guess I've done anything irreparably harmful to our relationship, but I don't want a bad level set either. I do not need daily communication with him, but more frequently than once a week. I guess I...

Yes, I like that idea. I did offer to bring him some food earlier in the week. But he never replied. He only seemed to reply when he knew I was struggling. I'll suggest it though, knowing full well he may just want to collapse and sleep.

OK, yes, I think this (Stress Cup) applies here. I guess I read his reply to me in the tone of my Ex boyfriend who would use "sorry" an emotional grenade to punish me. L hasn't ever been like that to me...and I'm down because I miss him. I guess he really did mean sorry. Now I'm wondering if...

I saw the stress cup article. I will read it.

I firmly believe that work stress can trigger this stuff. It's because it causes one to feel out of control. My relationship is relatively new. 6 months. Also a combat PTSD vet 15 years in the infantry. He just started a new job with a lot of stress and seeing horrible things all day. I'm in...

My boyfriend of 6 months finally went back to work a few weeks ago. Joblessness triggered some horrible PTSD symptoms for him. This group helped me understand his behavior and how to work with him instead of against him. It helped me see that his reactions were not because of me. Now I have...

Wow, @shimmerz ... I found this thread after mainly contributing to the Supporter forums. I think we've interacted before. I am also a stalking victim of 1 year. Most of mine was online harassment targeted and getting me fired, but was directed by an ex boyfriend who was violent to me many...

Thanks both of you. My cousin was killed in a horrible car wreck due to being intoxicated. We were close for many years, but lost touch a few years ago. He had a very long struggle with addiction that is now over. We are OK. My brothers and his surviving brothers are pulling together. I'm...

Gosh, why does it always seem to "hit the fan" when we need them??!! I had a death in my family last week. He had his kids, so could not be there. I just had to accept it. His ex had not let him see his kids in 6 months.

I think the answer is he and I are both learning. We have been together only 9 months. I know what he says he would like to have happen for himself and what he tries very hard at. Of course I need my needs met, but I don't feel I am making a sacrifice because he has always done/said what was...

That is the path my therapist took me down. "How would you feel if he didn't say something to you?" He does care. He says so all the time. He also seems to have the pieces to deal with this issue, so I will keep him in the loop. In his profession, he deals with child abuse and family...

Thanks @Chris-duck. watching for signs he's not dealing is a good idea. So far so good, though. He has a strong belief in justice and wants me to have mine. My breakdown last week also reminded me of how he might feel when he is triggered. Makes me have a lot of compassion and understanding.

I spend most of my time chatting as a supporter. I have an issue in my personal life, completely unrelated to my sufferer, that is causing me trauma. I am being stalked. My Sufferer, L, knows about this and has from the day he met me. Law enforcement is involved 100%. L works in family...

In talking with my therapist, a trauma specialist, she mentioned that new romantic relationships almost always trigger feelings of trauma. It totally has nothing to do with the new partner. This is just the sufferer trying to process feelings. My boyfriend did exactly the same thing to me...

Thanks everyone. The code word is a great idea. I can usually just see the look in his eye...LOL. But other people don't recognize what I do.

I did tell him I was proud! Multiple times. :inlove: He says he wants to come to another game. That makes me even more proud! Here's to staying on track and looking for overall progress over time! :tup: I've learned a LOT on how to deal with set backs from this group, too, and I expect them...

Thank you I needed to hear this. I felt guilty that he felt like he needed to go and have these symptoms while he was at the game… But I realize that someday he may need to go to his daughter’s ball game so he needs to work on this and I’m glad he is.

Last night L took a huge step for himself and our relationship. I am a player on a local roller derby team in a big city. I've probably skated in 10 games. Crowds are a known trigger for him, so I have not invited him to games. I did not want to force him if he was not ready. I have shared...

I got a busted lip once. My boyfriend thought he was fighting his brother in his sleep. We had to find a bigger bed.

I’ve read this book it’s a good one. I also would be interested in discussing this.

And after his long-awaited job offer it took him 5 days to fall asleep. He literally slept all weekend. He feels a lot better now, exponentially better than when I initially joined this group. The big lesson here for the two of us is that when you are treating a vet, they have a lot of health...

We are back on an up now. Come to find out L decided to open his mail after his mom left and got crap from his ex wife regarding their divorce that is dragging out for almost a year and his Tricare stopped working for a day....they day he went to get his meds. Good grief we have to account for...

Thank you. This is why I come here for support and thoughts instead of reacting on him.

L is doing a lot better...so much better that his mom left last night after staying with him for a month. He promised to text me after she left last night, as I had unknowingly interrupted their goodbyes at the airport with my call. I waited until 11pm before I sent him the message I was going...

Thanks for sharing. Mine did this to me for 2 months at the start of our relationship. I know the misery and the joy. Always try to stay positive.