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When I first met my sufferer he abandoned me completely for 2 months. I thought he was just being an ass as part of the dating game. When we started talking again and I went to see him, I learned very quickly he had been a hermit that entire time. I talked to my therapist about what happened...

My ex-boyfriend was like this (NOT the Captain, the sufferer that I'm currently with). It started with him, the ex, kicking the dog. Then he would push me down on the ground, throw things at me. Finally one day it escalated into him attacking my puppy with a sharp object. The dog bled for an...

Once you set boundaries for yourself, it gets easier. Good for you.

I don't know that we are in exactly the same situation but you are welcome to message me @master_z

My sufferer isolates and often does not want to talk about his issues, but NEVER turns back on me or is outwardly hurtful to me in any way. Her lambasting you on social media is not OK, especially if it is public. That is completely unfair to you. That really sucks, I'm sorry.

Sorry this happened to you. He probably won't be much happier where he's going either if he switches on a partner like that. She'll realize pretty quick that his demon is something not to be trifled with.

I was glad to see this thread. I got a little advice from an Army wife friend of mine that seems to help. I suggest an outing about once a week. He can take it or leave it, and I make sure I still go myself if he can't make it. ( He will feel guilty if I don't have fun because of him.)...

This was really hard for me at first. Like drove me CRATYZEE. It drives us crazy because we think of every single insecurity we have about ourselves in relationships. It also seems counteractive to abandon someone who is struggling. Listening and respecting their wishes is the only way...

Thanks for your kind words, @mumstheword My father had Muscular Dystrophy and I learned how to support someone from my mom. I've also taken a lot of notes from an Army wife friend of mine. It never helps to try and do it in a vacuum.

It's ok. It helps me work through important questions I need to work through. As long as nobody is outright mean or judgmental.

He often says I deserve better. I hear it a lot. What I have not heard is "This isn't working for me," or "I think we should take a break," or anything of that nature. I have told him that if he decides this relationship isn't working I need him to tell me. He's been able to tell me other highly...

I did not go in to the relationship expecting to profit. When I love someone, I just love them. He seemed like he needed love and I am able to do it.

Today is a struggle. We had a bad experience with an job headhunter a few weeks ago. I say *we* because I introduced her to him. He is new to the area and since some of our background does cross, I have been helping him network. This recruiter was very successful for me at a reputable...

:p Thank you. Every day is a new struggle. It seems like once we make progress in one area, say his physical disabilities, something else happens, like work-related crap. Sometimes it's hard just having the energy to get up and fight another day.

Thank you for the kudos. That means a lot. When L is more communicative (like the past 24 hours) he remembers to thank me as well. I am lucky he was a well-educated officer with good communication skills. I have worked on taking the personal (my) feelings out of his coping mechanism. It has...

Four days of Isolation and he resumed contact as we discussed. I feel a sense of trust when my boundaries are honored. He has been honest with me once again. He's not doing well at all. Sleeping for days and not eating properly. He also turned down paid work this week and went silent on the...

Roller Derby has taught me how to build a lot of mental strength. Most importantly, always get back up.

Another thing my therapist has me do it periodically check to make sure his actions match his words. They do. He may not be doing something I like, but he's doing what he says he will do. That helps maintain trust even if I am not happy with the way he copes. My coping mechanism is roller...

Yes! We started discussing a boundary of 4 days. I am absolutely clear to him I do not take this personally and I will only check on his well-being when he needs to isolate. I know he is not taking part in any destructive behavior like drugs or other vices. Thank you for helping me talk...

Sometimes it helps to write it out. You never know who you might be helping when they read your story. He may have been having trouble naming his feelings when describing why the relationship wasn't working for him. That communication component is pretty key to not only any successful...

True. It's not like this stuff is on their dating profile. L and I talk about this issue and his health and progress intimately. I also see a therapist twice a month and keep check on my mental well-being. We are taking things slowly. I was really just trying to get a perspective on this...

From what I've seen I can deal with this as long as I am understanding the problem. I do not take it (self-isolation) personally and we are otherwise well-matched. I am a self-supporting girl without kids, so I pretty much go do my own thing whenever I want. I don't let his issues stop me from...

Hi Zoogal. I certainly didn't plan on this and I would say I'm trying to understand this instead of put up with it. It sounds like your advice is to ask myself if I can be OK with this circle because it may not end ever?

Hi friends. I joined today, but have been reading some threads for a few weeks. Namely this one: Isolation What Do I Do Now? Thank you for all your inputs to help me understand my new boyfriend's behavior. I never understood that going silent for days/weeks/months at a time was a thing. The...