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Yes, and I did. However, I do not think this is common. If you are psychologically programmed from birth to be scared of your parent(s), that fear will generally stay with you until it's resolved in the therapeutic process, which generally doesn't happen around age 13. I think the reasons I...

A lot of abusive types do a lot of the shit they do just to get a reaction out of their targets. Any reaction, any attention, as long as they are getting your focus and energy. The concept of going "grey rock" is to make yourself as boring as a grey rock. No expression, no saying anything other...

Just want to add to the rest of the sentiment in the thread, that I also think it sounds like you were triggered. Trauma trigger - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Being triggered when you don't realize that you have trauma from something earlier in your life, can indeed be an extremely...

I'm gonna be frank here. I think I tend to be dismissive of racial issues mostly because I feel that I have my own crap to deal with, which I don't perceive society to be helping me with in any way, and then when people of color bring up racism, it just feels like someone is trying to get me to...

I posted some time ago about getting ready to try some new types of meds, and also about meds I have tried in the past. I can offer my personal experience, for whatever that may be worth. For myself, I found that I was just abusing meds the way someone would abuse something like alcohol. It was...

Well definitely go with whatever topic feels right to you. But one suggestion I can throw out there, is to think of something your mother once said to you, that has lodged itself in your memory. Consider the message she was conveying to you, and how you might have internalized it. Maybe consider...

I have resisted asking any professionals for benzos over the years. If I am honest, I think I would abuse them. Addiction problems run so heavily in my family, and I already have had self-medication issues in the past like being high on weed every day all day and chain smoking cigarettes. I...

There are multiple types of memories, so to speak. We have our conscious memories, where we can recall details about an event, like, "I drove to the store, it was in the morning, it was cloudy and I had REO Speedwagon playing in the car." Then we have subconscious memories. Subconscious...

My parents were my abusers in childhood, and I am currently living with my mother. So yes, an abuser is still very much a part of my life. It is definitely far from unheard of. It is probably actually somewhat common. First because if you're not capable of actually physically moving yourself...

I pretty much need to abstain from drinking, although it tempts me greatly. There is a history of alcoholism in my family, and I also have a habit of 'chasing' things. If I started to find relief in drinking, it would probably become very difficult for me to stop and control it. I can easily see...

This past weekend I attended a two-part family gathering. The first part was a massive gathering for the entire extended family, and as I walked around, I saw people that I had not seen since my childhood (I'm 28 presently). It didn't take long before I started to feel extremely strange and...

I think it's really important to have a therapist who you feel is compassionate and who genuinely listens. It can take some "shopping around" until finding the right therapist. I've had some bad ones. But one benefit once you find the right one, is that since you have to sort of face what you...

I saw my psychiatrist again today. We talked more and I was able to be assertive which is a small miracle. She was a lot more receptive than I had thought she would be, so that's good. She agreed that trauma is probably playing a large role in my symptoms, and she agreed to back off the...

In some of the cases, but I never get a real answer. It just falls back on how they don't believe that anyone ever tries to hurt anyone else, that's always misunderstanding. I've never received an explanation as to why they believe this, though. Yeah it's probably not the best use of my time...

When I talk about moral nihilism, I'm not talking about religious debates or anything along those lines. I'm talking about people who try to claim that there is no such thing as right and wrong. Once in a while I encounter one of these people, and they always seem to think they are so...

Yes I agree with you, but I think it's important for people to understand how recovering from trauma can look like all sorts of things. Especially for professionals to understand this. Like I said, I met the criteria - for about a few years. When I finally "popped" out of dissociation, there was...

I had it with my parents. The real "fun" didn't show up until I started breaking out of it. That's when all of this insane rage came out. These days I tend to cycle between a calmer acceptance, these creepy conditioned feelings to protect my abusers from everything, and intense rage towards them...

Forgiveness is for you, just to process and let go of any toxic, seething feelings inside that can mess you up over time. Forgetting in my opinion is foolish. We must allow ourselves to learn from our experiences, even - maybe especially - the painful ones. If you have learned that your mother...

I read about a study that says people who dream of murder are usually introverted people with a lot of suppressed anger. That probably describes me pretty well, actually. But I also wonder if it's a twisted sign of possible healing, for someone with trauma. Lately a lot of my nightmares have...

Yes I think you are right. When I asked her about letting me try an anti-depressant, she said no. She didn't explain why, but it made me assume that she thinks I am manic, because I am not sure why else she would say no to anti-depressants even though at the time I first saw her, I was so...

There was just one form, and it was basically about like personal history, substance history, what meds have you tried before, etc. I think there might have been some bias against me because I admitted to self-medicating with marijuana in my early 20s, and my psychiatrist made a comment implying...

Yes I think I might see someone else if this upcoming appointment on Thursday doesn't go very well. My last appointment, I explained to her that I had been crying at night, getting intrusive thoughts and not sleeping very well. Her response was that I seemed fine and she didn't want to change...

I believe I may have had a psychotic experience last year, although I am unsure of the cause (though I know what the trigger was, or at least I think). I am open to the possibility that I may have a mental illness. I am just frustrated with the lack of concern about the trauma, from the...

So some months ago I sought out treatment for PTSD and depression. This involved seeing a therapist and psychiatrist who work together at the same facility. It hasn't gone very well at all. The therapist seems completely uncomfortable with me and frequently cancels our appointments at the last...

To be honest I really just need everyone to get away from me, I need to be alone when I am having a panic attack, I basically just lock down until it's over. Any interaction with people will just make it several times worse and may even give it an angry edge. So just tossing that out there in...