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Sometimes the simplest statements are most profound. Thanks Ms. Spock. I'm tired, too.

OK., Solara-Here's honesty...if they're threatening to ban you for venting...that sucks. Really. That's what PTSD sufferers need to do, and if a forum for them won't allow it...then WTF? I don't have anyone to talk to either, (though I've met someone on this forum, in fact, that has made a...

Welcome, Hope... I understand your difficulty with therapy. I have the same problem, "prohibitively", you could say. But like you, I know I could benefit from it...that by most definitions, I need it desperately. But at least you know you need it...that not having it is "killing you". Often...

You haven't said that much re your symptoms, or what caused the attack...but I understand...if you're in the middle of a panic attack, typing/thinking clearly are obviously among the problems. I'd have to ask a) how often do you experience them b) do you notice that anything specific triggers...

Just wanted to state that I so appreciate your honesty, and forthrightness. It's not easy at all for me to admit how I've been affected by situations, and the negative effects they've had. 8 years is....wow...something. You should be proud...of how resilient you've been just to suffer such a...

What's called "Emotional Numbing" is one of the primary, hallmark symptoms of PTSD. Maybe you should read some material on PTSD, just to familiarize yourself with what you should expect. I recommend "Trauma and Recovery" by Herman (M.D.), but that's just one of many. It's not that it will...

My heart goes out to you, truly. It's said that PTSD is one of the main factors predisposing one to addiction...so it's excellent that you've recognized how high the cost is, and are aware of your need to avoid addictive substances at all costs. Of course, spinal surgery, as any surgery--but one...

It's of course extremely difficult to divine anothers motivations, regardless of the situation or how well you know them. So trying to do so without knowing him at all, hearing his tone, witnessing the body language, "attitude", or knowing what lead up to it...makes it fairly impossible...

I am looking--albeit not aggressively, or with a set deadline, as of yet. I'm currently "in a bit of a spot", and would have trouble just jetting off (mother's senile dementia, mainly). Wish it were otherwise, though. Thanks so much for your reply, and interest, and a great post, as well.

I sympathize. Because I was raised by a Latin American father, I ended up with what's been often referred to, in literature and commonly, as the "piercing Latin gaze". It's labeled as such for a reason--it's uncharacteristic of Americans...and most other cultures. Fun thing was...nobody...

Don't know why my second post was removed...but as I said in my first post...Melatonin is not PARTICULARLY effective under 50-60 or so...which is not to say that it's completely INEFFECTIVE. There's a distinction there. And I'm not familiar with "GABA calm"..but I'll hazard a guess that it...

Exactly.

Gaba itself doesn't work, as it's not missive to the blood/brain barrier. There are formulations meant to address this problem one called Phenibut, another Picamilon. Picamilon is supposedly much better--I haven't tried it, personally. Both are sold as supplements, and can be purchased online...

I don't know your boyfriend, of course, and wasn't there during the situation, to see it as it played out--but he sounds like an ass to me. I'm sure he has good points, or you wouldn't be with him at all...but someone who just walks away when his supposed loved one is crying, then says "It...

By the way, the label I use for those "voices" coming from my hindbrain is "the Texans"...(I grew in a small town in Tx--can you guess the connection?).. easy to just wave off and ignore.

You've mentioned that you read..and even printed out...my first post to your thread.. But in order to get the "right anwer"...you need to ask the "right" question. And the right question is not "what can you do to prevent the consequences of this thought". That's sloppy gardening--just...

@hesmylove Welcome to the forum, and so glad you're beginning to learn about PTSD--especially considering your role as a partner in relationship with a sufferer. As a someone with longstanding cPTSD (childhood),PTSD(adult, violence related) dagnoses--and veteran of a number of relationships...

@Emotional Retard Hope you're well. Just reread my previous post, and saw that I mad a HUGE editing error!!! The second sentence was incomplete--somehow it was transferred from the original (I write posts on WP first) without including the last portion, in which I stated that your spinal...

I don't know your age...but I have to wonder if this might be only your first or second relationship? Because as Solara said...what you're describing is not only normal, it's more common than not. It's pretty incredibly rare for a relationship to remain as intense as it was in its initial stages

I'm unsure as to how old you are..but maybe you just haven't learned yet: boyfriends never get the point. That's their job. O.K. kidding to lighten the mood. But seriously...2 things: 1, if he did "get it", he'd both be very afraid for you, as well as have to do something drastic and dramatic...

@anonymous If I became the "real me" for an instant I would wink out in supernova and take the rest of the world with me. The Gordian knot of the traumatized self. Alexander the Great conquered it by slicing it in twain. Metaphorical solution, anyone? I'm all ears. I like the idea of "removing...

I know exactly what you mean. Exactly. And congratulations for both figuring it out much earlier than I did--but moreso, to have the tremendous courage needed to admit to something which has an even greater stigma, I think, than trauma--the allure of "victimhood" Who would want to admit to...

One more thing you might not be takin into account--(and bully for ya, deathray, you're makin the right move)-- And this is gonna hit your ear funny, I know...but in her mind, she might actually be lookin at her attitude and responses as a matter of tryin to HELP you. I know. Sounds...

I feel your pain--we are in the same boat. It's hard to give up trying to get what you missed out on from family members who were responsible to provide it. But the stark reality is, I've found, that wasting your life, time, energy, and sanity, waiting around in your adulthood, for someone to...

I know exactly how you feel. I too have suffered a lifetime of difficulties due to the difference in my cultural background from that of my country of residence. My heart goes out to you, as I can't imagine actual torture, or recovering afterward. It's no wonder the world seems like a cruel...