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Thank you, @Freida. It does help in a weird way. I know without a doubt he loves me. I just wish I could make him understand I love him too. There are so many people that keep saying, no contact will scare him into reconnecting with you...I think that's playing games. I haven't contacted him...

Thank you all for your input and help! It hasn't been easy, but I do know that how I feel about me is the only thing I can control. I'm going a bit crazy, because I'm opening myself up to a lot of peoples opinions, but no one can understand what I'm going through without their own projections...

Maybe, I don't know. All I know is our pattern...that he leaves in October, keeps his toes in, and is completely back after the holidays. I'm just used to this pattern. I guess since his toes are still in and he's finally in therapy, maybe we could have an actual shot this time....the same...

Man, I'm glad I have my appointment with my T tomorrow. This has been the longest week ever. I don't want to stay in this place...I'm ready for my spiritual awakening. I'm ready to fill my voids with myself. I'm sort of sad that I feel so lonely right now, but I think it's the catalyst to...

So, today's EMDR day, and he's already pulling back. We had a couple of really nice chats this weekend, nothing heavy - of course. But today all he messaged me is that he's really busy this morning and he'll call me later. So, I left it at that. I don't think he's working today, but he may have...

She sure does, doesn't she?!

I bought this shirt when he was deployed. Since I said a while ago I'm going to treat this similar to another deployment, I have been using it as a night shirt... what do you think @Freida ?

Freida, I love you....will you be my spirit animal? Yes, I do see what you're saying about the energy stuff...but I also think that the biggest difference this time is the roommate being there. He really changes the dynamic A LOT. Plus him (the roommate) having these women introduced into the...

Wow!!! I'm so, well, honored that you remembered all of that! I'm actually taken a little aback by it. I honestly don't know what to say, but thank you! I honestly mean that. You're actually quite right. I know that my self esteem could use a full body makeover. It really isn't even about him...

No worries, I didn't feel that way at all. I actually appreciate much of the things you say to me, and on the site in general. In fact, I take most of the things you say as constructive and helpful. Any of the negative type things that come across is generally in respect to the people in my...

I don't know if this belongs here, but I'm not sure where else to put it right now: ......and I think part of the problem is that if this really is it, the end of ...or relationship, then all of those other people were right, and I was wrong. That even now as I see us being able to overcome...

I definitely try to do this. Especially now after my own therapy the last year or so and with/ through your guidance. I want him to know I'm accepting of the space. The difference between our situations is him having this roommate there trying to bring other women into the picture. Sigh... if...

I have not done radical acceptance, other than just with myself. I do accept there is nothing I can do, but I don't like that, really...but I do accept it. The majority of his trauma is actually quite interpersonal. Once off the things he's adamant about is that he doesn't want to answer to...

That must be horrible! I know that it's hard for me to deal with my family of origin for similar reasons. They also have zero desire to be healthier or understanding people. I feel very much alone in many situations. Of course, much of it is self inflicted. He's one of a select few people...

Wow! I'm sorry you're experiencing that. But I hope you're proud for sticking with it for your own health. Are you feeling any benefits of it yet? I really hope so. Are the people in your other relationships aware of what you're going through? I think because I'm aware, I've been very willing...

I know he doesn't "show down" his schedule for it. He's also told me a few weeks ago that it doesn't make him tired and doesn't seem "difficult" so he's afraid it won't work. But then I asked him if he noticed his anger recently and asked him to bring it up with his T. He said the next time he...

Hello, all! I'm looking for either supporter's views of their S/O's starting in therapy or sufferer's recollections of their experiences. I honestly can't remember what it was like when I started, and I don't know how it affected my relationship. So basically, my (ex?)S/O of the last 9 years...

Because it's my life, and I'm going to be the master of it. But as I'm getting more comfortable and trust her more, I do test more waters.

Honestly, you have to evaluate if you'll be able to do this forever. Because the fact is, it's a lifetime thing. Whatever you answer is, that's fine. You mentioned that quality time and touch are your love languages and that your needs weren't being met. That's okay, but you have ti be...

Uh, wow.... this resonated with me more than I may like to admit. I honestly have had very similar thoughts at different times in my life. They are not constantly in the front, but there are times all I feel is this - darkness, for lack of a better way of putting it. I'm not entirely sure...

Well, it's good you're aware of how you're feeling now. It's even better that you're trying to proactively determine coping skills too. It's at least a small win, right? Do you have any ideas you want to "put out there" and see how others might think before you put it into play? Sorry if...

I would just tell them that you won't interfere in their desire to have their pictures, but as you had previously mentioned, you don't want them. You can tell them that because you don't want them, you will not be paying for them, or participating in them. Tell them that it makes you...

Thank you kindly. I'm in no hurry to leave, in all honesty. I'm just trying to let him process while I do at the same time. He's actually been a little better these last few days, but I'm not putting any "hope" to that. I'm expecting this to be a long process, and that's okay too. I guess I'm...

My heart goes out to you. This is by no means "fun". This has been the worst "breakup" since the one 6 years ago. We do talk or text almost every day. We see each other almost every week, or every other. But he's so distant, I don't want to make it worse. Of course he has better days than...

Just be prepared for the backlash once counseling starts. In my experience, and with what I've heard on here, it gets worse. Sometimes way worse, before it gets better. We have been in this "pattern" for almost 6 years of our 9 years together. He recently (October) Started EMDR around the same...