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You're being so admirably tough, @Justmehere ...what you describe of your therapist makes me feel like this is some kind of big mistake that has nothing to do with you or your session at all: she dropped her cell phone in the toilet or accidentally erased her email account or there was an outage...

Wow, @Justmehere. I don't have a quick solution but wanted to respond and say how much I feel for you--I would struggle mightily with such radio silence. Does your T typically encourage contact outside of the session? Is this non-response out of character? I hope you get some more support soon...

It's good you let yourself scream it out in here, @Snowflake. It's fair to want to quit it all. But you're here, and in this space those words are safe and fine to say, and now perhaps--I hope--you can move forward just a little at a time. What's in front of you just in this day? in this hour...

Oh yes indeed....my former T, who also told me (was the first one to tell me) I had PTSD, I was also not connected to--I completely pulled the plug on her after she pissed me off with a billing policy....I was relieved to shake myself loose, didn't miss her, didn't feel that connection. The...

Congrats on your pregnancy! And good for you that you pushed the conversation tonight. These things are so damn hard.

@NightSky I'm so glad you started this thread. Next week I'm supposed to have a phone session with my T (it's the day before Thanksgiving and she'll be away from the office, but still generously offered a phone session)....and I did not want to seem ungrateful but also had to push myself to...

How do you feel in general about your T? Do you feel close to her and some degree of trust? While on one hand I see the book gesture as an effort to connect with you, I also see it as a moment to really talk through the disconnect between you too....ie, she's trying to get you to go somewhere...

Part of what I'm dealing with is a panic that I can't protect my daughters from the idea that their bodies are for the taking....like the vote made this ok...I know others have said there are ways to rethink this. But it's for sure one of my trigge Took facebook off my phone today.....:blackeye:

Welcome @HrHippie--!

panicked and having that everything-is-falling-apart thing....wanting to hide or sleep...while knowing I need to push myself through it and also while suspecting that I know there's a more realistic view than what I am seeing/feeling, wishing for a glimpse of that and for feeling it....!

This post could probably go also in the "flashbacks" section, too, but I'll add it here since I think it's relevant to this very valuable thread...hope others might connect. A new phenomenon for me--I realize now that I am still relatively early in my recovery process--is auditory flashbacks. I...

I am so sad to read all of this--my heart goes out to everyone who's had such an experience. This sort of thing speaks to one of my very deepest fears and one of the ways in which I feel we are so very vulnerable in the therapeutic relationship. I have put my therapist of 1.5 yrs through all...

I think you're understanding @Recovery4Me --that it's self-esteem and self-worth are shaping my core beliefs/fears. And as for the other piece--"fully"--I suppose it's true we can't except anyone to be a be all/end all, it's true-- (if I'm understanding your interpretation correctly!). :)

Yes. And here's another one (related I'm sure to those we have already hashed out a bit): what do I do if I am truly overwhelmed emotionally in a therapy session and thus overwhelm my T? I'd call this core fear something along the lines of...."fear that my emotions are too much for others to...

Actually today I think my T used the term "core beliefs"....(as in, mine are not good...)

Thank you so so much..

Ha! Yes--last time I had this experience my T was like, "Ok--so did you just hear all the words that just came out? Can we just go back a slow it down?" :nailbiting:

I go kind of "word salad"--lots and lots of words that tumble out faster and jumbled together and mixed in with anxiety...and she dials me back and tries to get me to stay in the "feeling"....this is all very hard stuff.

My post up above should say "emotional" need not..."empirical"...ha! Typing too quickly. I think this issue of compassion/care/affection/praise--leads to or factors in to one of my biggest struggles right now, which has to do with allowing myself to really let go in therapy. I think--I...

For sure: I think people don't ever know how much I might be feeling an empirical need for them. ..I am expert if convincing others of my emotional self sufficiency...and I hate it!...

@One step at a time: how long did it take?....just wondering...;)

As I think about my own dance of anxiety/fear/awkwardness in the therapy room space, I can see the humor all while thinking I just wish it could be funny for real and not so damn painful! Though I wouldn't in real life/body, I could for sure imagine curling in a ball on the floor in the corner...

Oh, yes to all that's here...eye contact with T is very difficult for me--I do it but can't seem to hold it--and she never will be the one to break it. I agree that what I can't handle when I look at her is how she looks at me--with great affection and care. She sometimes, when she's...

The question, "Do you think there's anything I'm not telling you?" strikes me as a really important one I'd like to ask and, I think, for me, another question that's embedded there is something along the lines of, "Do you think there's anything I'm not telling myself?".... And @Orion I'm sure...

@Lola Nocheprieta, one academic to another: that faculty member/Dean off your ass is a real high point! :)