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Thank you to all. I know it can be a redundant theme on this side of the forum. I think the largest difficulty beside the emotional hurt is the trying to make sense of it but you cant make sense of it. Yes I need to face the reality and take it at face value. Hearing all of your feedback helps...

Butting in is quite welcome especially from a sufferer stand point. Yes I have multiple times with the response only needing to be yes or no. He wont answer. The only difference this year is I'm not blocked. I know not to inquire about if he is in a dark place because that one was provided with...

Thank you. Yes I know logically that he needs to be managing himself and I am allowed to have boundaries. I found out from his family he has been isolating from them as well again. Im not sure what is going on and Im trying to be mindful and calm this year as to not upset myself or irritate the...

So if someone could give me insight, I heard from him after I had to do a welfare check because he hadn't returned home and he made a comment that wasnt very clear and given historical behaviors I was concerned. His response stated he was fine and then shot back with a snarky comment blaming me...

Oddly this go around I hurt but I'm more calm and at peace. Someone asked me, do you really think this is it? Before... I'd say I hope not, but this time I dont have an answer. I no longer make excuses and say "oh its PTSD we will move forward". We never moved forward from each event and learned...

Oh yes. I agree with @Sweetpea76, atleast in my experience that is when the symptoms are increasing. Ex: I raise my voice and oh goodness its the worst thing I could have done to him, where as, he raises his voice and he justifies it because he was "triggered" and I better just let it go, but...

Thank you to both of you. The vent wasn't meant to be mean or negate what the sufferer goes through by any means. I get it... I see and hear the pain he is in, it's very real. I see the person I love and care for falling. Supporting isnt for the faint of hearts and yes burn out is very real. I...

Just need a safe space to vent and not be judged because (hence the username) who knows if I'll be back in the rollercoaster tomorrow and well my own supporters are quite tired of my stubbornness and support of my SO. Years I have spent being supportive pushing aside my wants and needs (first...