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Very well said. Many times I feel my inner critic makes me a target. I’ve gotten better at recognizing blame shifting when it happens, but it’s a learning curve.

Hugs to you all!

This is such a great post! Not something I had ever considered. When I was 5, I spent days and hours at the administration building with people testing my IQ. They wanted to send me to some school for advanced learning, I never went though. I also remember the researchers getting excited...

I feel you! My father and aunt have accused me of being a liar and a thief my entire life, but I never stole anything from anyone. Since my aunt broke into my grandparent’s safe and stole thousands and my dad took everything my mom and I ever had, they’ve been projecting guilt onto me. My...

December 19, 2020 What do you say to the person who’s just figured out they’ve been used, abused and treated like a doormat for 43 of their 46 years of life? My mind often disappears into a black mist; there are red bubbles randomly floating with snippets of events and it takes significant...

December 18, 2020 I met with my therapist on Wednesday; I shed some tears but felt fine afterwards. However, I had no idea how emotionally challenging life was about to become. I went about the rest of my day just lazing until I had to pick my husband up from work. Usually, I play bingo on...

December 14, 2020 Every day you called Now, nothing at all Every day we kissed Now, merely dismissed Every day memory Now, living angry

December 11, 2020 Christmas is very near, and still my favorite holiday; but this year is different. I feel as though something is amiss. It’s not because of COVID, there’s an element missing that used to be with me - inside me - that’s disappeared. My heart used to feel full this time of...

Thank you all for your kind words and support. I know it will be hard, but it’s time for me to take the wheel and stop letting others tell me which direction to go. 🤗🤗🤗

My husband is not physically abusive, but he emotionally abuses me (withholding affection & intimacy and refuses to compromise) and his mom (whom lives with us) is verbally abusive at times. Does this help?

I’ve been recently diagnosed with cPTSD due to an abusive, narcissistic, schizophrenic father. Unfortunately typical, I married someone who is not exactly like my dad but has similar traits. I’m concerned this will negatively impact my therapy. Has anyone else experienced this? I’m afraid it...

December 10, 2020 Did something (well, my parents did) for me today - I got my hair done 😀 it’s been in desperate need for awhile! It’s part of my Christmas gift. The next part is covering the strands of hair reflecting my age 😂 Today went okay. I don’t feel melancholy anymore, but still a...

December 8, 2020 Sometimes, I just wanna be left alone. I work hard during the week pushing 100+ pound trolleys around a 700,00 sq. Ft. Store - multiple times a day - so when I have a day off I just want to rest. Yet, he sends our daughter to do the dirty deed of waking me from my nap (maybe...

December 6, 2020 The winter wind wasn’t as cold as her heart. I thought we were friends. Then, she decided hanging out with older kids was “cooler.” Those were her “friends.” Every day after, I was terrorized. “Meet me at the playground after school.” She said as we walked up the stairs...

December 6, 2020 Got some things off my chest Friday, but unfortunately I feel like water after the plug is pulled! I also have this empty feeling I can’t explain. It feels (or doesn’t feel) like a crevasse in my soul. I’ll have to talk to T about this.

Take the buzzing from my head feedback from my mouth Speak not to me in shouts and screams Or beat me bedside out Pick up the puzzle’s pieces Scatter them about Choose not for me bright rooms and beams Just blow the candle out Boil streaming tears to smoke Scarring gives no clout Speak not to...

December 4, 2020 An epiphany: In my search for love and affection, I am really only looking for the me I never came to be.

December 4, 2020 Had a great appointment with my T! Finally, a therapist who is going to work with me! She says I definitely have PTSD based on what we discussed. I’m feeling sad and relieved at the same time. Relieved that she helped make sense of things: why I wake up sad for no reason...

December 3, 2020 “My worth is who I AM not what I can do” Me Why is it that a person can not say a word (but grunt and grumble) and make me feel guilty for something that I didn’t choose! For example, my husband chooses not to drive yet if I have a rough time waking up at 5:30, it’s my fault...

December 2, 2020 My path to healing (with professional help) begins this week. I meet my EMDR therapist on Friday. I’m anxious and excited. I’m definitely going to have to pay closer attention to my reactions and memories in the coming days. There’s a TON of ground to cover, but little...

My handle was Chicken Noodle 😂

December 2, 2020 Lately, I’m remembering things that I used to do when I was younger that make me realize the depth of the abuse I suffered. I used to play in my closet, and I kept blankets and pillows in there so I could hide when I heard my dad come home from work. I remember it always...

I realize I am unable to set and maintain boundaries, and I am so in tune with others’ needs I don’t know myself or what makes me truly happy.

I need my husband to show - not tell - he love and respects me. Why? Because it releases “feel good” chemicals in the body creating genuine happiness. However, my husband rarely does that so I feel sad, alone and useless all or most of the time.

December 1, 2020 While relaying my feelings to my husband about his complaining and making me feel guilty, I recalled a detail that I didn’t realize was relevant until now. When I worked under the new student affairs director at the college, he terrorized me by coming in to my office, picking...