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I am grateful to have been showered with so much affection and excitement by my friends' dog this evening!

Thanks for sharing, @open eyes ! That has absolutely upped my hope. I only remember fragments of the trauma, but I definitely haven't fully talked/worked through my thoughts and feelings with it yet. So I suppose that's what's next! In the mean time, is it okay to just keep giving in to the...

Any time I receive any unsolicited or unwelcomed physical touch- someone I don't especially feel comfortable with gives me a high five, someone touches my hand when giving me change, tapping me to ask a question- I have to wash that area. Usually it's my hands, which is often simple enough to...

Redeemed

I rewarded myself after a really hard (but good!) day at work with some key lime greek frozen yogurt!

I let myself take a nap today!

I feel insecure today.

Does anyone else feel that their PTSD is blocking a love language? I know that from certain, proven, safe people, physical touch is one of my biggest love languages. But having been physically and/or sexually abused by 4 different people, most of the time I avoid touch. If it feels unavoidable...

Well, I made it through the rest of work. And then after a quick lunch, retreated to my room. Room darkening curtains, comfy clothes, a favorite show, and a little texting with a couple close friends. I feel a bit better already. A few people asked what was wrong or how they could help, which I...

I am grateful I finally have a place where I feel safe- physically and emotionally.

I'm on break at work- and I'm dreading having to go back. I am so anxious today but I still have to work. I have to interact with customers and every time someone walks up to the counter I have to fight the urge to run away. It was a fairly good morning, so I'm not sure why my anxiety is so...

I sleep with these great headphones (called sleepphones) that play white noise so I'm not disturbed at night by any of my 3 roommates or the noises of our not so classy neighborhood. They also have a "concentration" version of their white noise that I'll play sometimes when I am taking a sensory...

I started running a year ago for my own mental well being as well! It has helped so much with my outlook and has helped me sleep better. One of the biggest things I learned in running was that I can set goals, take steps toward them, and achieve them! That was brand new for me! Something I...

Not sure if it'd be helpful to you, or if it's okay to post this in here, but what helps me is thinking of several verses in the Bible that say that God is our avenger. Then I can usually let it go and leave it up to Him.

I'm 30 and though I'm not completely, violently opposed to marriage or a romantic relationship (anymore), I am not interested in them. I'm doing pretty well at this point with having healthy relationships with men but I'm just not looking for a husband. And I've never really wanted to have kids...

I feel Grateful Edgy Overwhelmed Alone Anxious

YES! I have a whole list of things I hate for no real good reason except that they are associated with an abuser. Black pepper being a big one. Even as a kid, when my father wanted me to play trumpet (like him) I joined chorus.

I wonder if it's more of a craving for risk taking or danger? What do you think? I will crave various excessive extremes- too much exercise or sleep, too many shots of espresso (or vodka), too much isolation, too many new clothes.

I'm like that with kids, too. For a long time I thought it was just because I didn't know what to do with them- like I wouldn't be "fun" for them or would make some mistake in watching them and they'd get hurt or be messed up forever. Now I'm starting to see that being around kids who are about...

I know I resisted (okay, I still resist!) feeling much of anything associated with trauma out of a fear that it'd send me into a full on breakdown and I wouldn't be able to handle it, be hospitalized, lose my job, get evicted, etc., etc., etc. (Spiral much??) I know better than that now, but I...

I've always loved choral singing. Being able to sing in harmony with others, expressing together what none of us could alone, expressing through the sounds of our voices emotions and images that words alone fail to convey. Having the opportunity to sing my heart out- not just to sing with all...

I have big chunks of my memory missing, too. I just started uncovering some vague memories a year and a half ago. I haven't remembered anything new lately, so I'm wondering if maybe I'm kind of "done" remembering. Or maybe that's just all I need to know for now. God knows it's plenty of material...