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Justpassintime, I was in the hospital decades ago, not with this therapist. I am just afraid to tell her because of what happened in the past. I've been dealing with this on my own for 28 years--I get so tired of it all. It is really hard for me to trust anyone about this.

I hadn't thought about it this way, but it makes sense. I haven't told my therapist about suicidal thoughts--she constantly worries whether I'm stable, anyway, and I'm afraid to tell her about this. Guess I'll have to sometime. The thoughts have been really bad this week, but I promised...

I've coped with bad feelings for years by staying ultra busy. I have the same problem, but no answers.

Oh, I know how that is! I didn't even classify the childhood stuff as abuse until therapy a couple of months ago. I just thought everyone lived like that. I wish I'd known earlier, too. I was so turned off by bad therapy three decades ago that I still have a hard time trusting. I just...

I started because my mind gave me no choice. The flashbacks got so bad that I started losing connection with reality. I keep going because I hope to get past the physical illnesses and injuries stress has caused me. I've written many, many emails to my therapist saying that I am quitting...

I feel this way a lot after therapy, thought there was something wrong with me. I think you are exactly right, thank you for saying this.

PTSD seems to live and thrive on secrecy, at least for me. I've told those I think are capable of understanding, but I also explain to them that I can't and won't discuss what happened because it triggers me to talk about it. The fact that I have a diagnosis has to be enough information about...

Took my youngest and his friends trick or treating in the rain. Stood on the sidewalk while they went to houses. Last house we went to had a haunted yard--complete with people dressed up like zombies. I waited on the other end of the block. Glad that is over for another year. I managed ok...

Happy Halloween...anyone else who will be really glad when the stores aren't full of terror-inducing paraphernalia? We have kids, some of whom are teenagers, so it is impossible to completely avoid all of this. Last night one of the teenagers wanted to go to the Halloween store to buy a...

PTSD as an "existential conflict." That sounds about right to me.

I have only told my teenagers that I have PTSD and am in therapy, I haven't told them why or explained much. The reasons are pretty awful, and I don't want them to have that picture of me in their heads, they seem to think that the PTSD stems from my family experiences, which is partially true...

I have had multiple traumas and had a bad reaction after the very first session, but due to encouragement of friends, I didn't give up. I've done it for well over a month since, and it has really helped my PTSD.

Emma's Revolution has a song (a duet), Clear Blue Skies, about one partner supporting the other with PTSD... There's a chill in the air And a blanket of grey Then a shadow of doubt Eclipses the day All it takes is a word And a faint little spark Be true to yourself Step into the dark Hold me...

Thanks for posting that quote--I hadn't seen it before. I wonder if aversion to authority could be part of the reason I have so much trouble with doctors of all types?

I know that feeling! So frustrating.

Yes, I've done this too, for decades. Only recently did I learn that it has always been PTSD. Actually knowing why I do it makes it just a tiny bit easier.

@Only 1 of me, I have a lot of difficulty not dissociating also. I also get really cold during sessions. My therapist has me drink water, and last time when I got really spacey (the subject matter was one I really didn't want to deal with), she put a very heavy blanket on me. Drinking water...

Checking in again, it has been a month now since I started the reprocessing phase of EMDR, and I have to say that I'm really glad I stuck with it. I'm going twice a week, an hour and a half at a time (including check in, etc.) and have made a lot of progress. I haven't had any more bad...

My PTSD has been getting a lot worse for about a year now, and I just realized that I have almost completely cut out TV and radio--even before I realized that I was getting worse. I listen to the same music over and over, I guess I like the predictability. I get my news from the internet, I...

@Only 1 of me I do the same thing! I have so many things I can't anyone, not even tell my therapist, so I email her. Funny how I can type it out but can't get the words out. My therapist says that she doesn't care if I have to use carrier pigeon, as long as I can communicate to her. One...

I am also new to this, what I tell people depends on what they need to know, and honestly, how I feel on the day they ask. My primary care physician wanted to know what happened...which I guess is info that could be helpful? I'm still not sure if I said the right thing. I just said sexual...

I did this, too, probably at about the same age. Not in the bathtub, but in church. I would sit and think about how I would never be good enough to make it to the fundamentalist version of heaven that I was hearing the misogynist preachers talk about. I would just sit and hold my breath until...

Well, now it is two days after the therapy, and I have to say that I really do think it helped. I still just don't feel that adrenaline rush that was almost constantly there before. I've confronted major triggers in the last couple of days, I still have to stop for a bit, but I don't get that...

I went back for EMDR yesterday, the therapist changed the technique, she said, and eased off and ended more positively with an affirmation and made sure I was completely grounded, also slowed down the EMDR stimulation for a while before the end. I know I made a lot of progress with the issue I...

I can relate to the difficulty in communicating. I have so many things I feel are bubbling over in me to say, and sometimes I even forget that I haven't said them aloud! The slightest thing my husband (who is not abusive at all) does to make me feel insecure makes me completely unable to...