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I'm not sure what effects it had on me, and I'm not even sure it really happened, but there was a neighbor kid, older, who I remember when I was about 4 making me play a game where he put his penis in my mouth, and how pushy and controlling he was, and how embarrassed and uncomfortable I always...

I'm not sure how dissociative memory loss usually manifests, so I don't know if it's from dissociation or not. But the examples you gave sound a bit unusual. My own memory is rather poor, but in the sense that it's very difficult for me to remember what I had to eat today or yesterday, and that...

I did something awful when I was a teenager, and I still feel extreme guilt over it. I've hated myself for it ever since. I really understand that distinction between guilt and shame, though. The guilt is the unpleasant but necessary instructive regret. The shame is the self loathing over...

Very good point. An uncoerced and sincere yes is a yes, and nothing else but there's other factors, too.

Yeah, the tea analogy fits really well. Only yes means yes, but also, not every yes means yes.

:hug: I'm really sorry you were put through all that. You're not a slut and you're not disgusting. Someone else chose to harm you, you didn't make that choice. You mentioned not having a therpist. Is this because you don't want one/don't feel ready, or because you don't have access to one? It...

I'm willing to listen about anything you need to talk about, and I know many others here are willing, too. Anything, including the screaming. And I bet a lot of people here will understand entirely. :hug:

I think that if someone's not even sure they consented, then they didn't consent. Even if they said yes. I wouldn't proceed with a hypothetical partner who was saying yes, but giving every indication that they did not want to be there, and were uncomfortable with proceeding. A partner that had...

Even if you'd never literally said no, and had said yes, in this case, there was so much obvious force and coercion, that none of the yeses would have counted. Yes, it counts as rape, and he's gaslighting you by claiming that it doesn't because you said yes. He's blaming it on you, in...

@lostforgottensoul :hug: I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and glad you're getting help. I hope you're able to work everything out.

Though there's no one right amount to cry, it's not helpful for everyone or not everytime.i There's no shame in crying, but there's also no shame in not crying.

:hug: I don't have any good advice or anything, but I'm listening and hope things work out. You're amazing!

Petals

It's always been exceptionally hard for me to cry. There had been so many times needed to, but just couldn't. A medication change last year actually made it much easier for me to cry when I need to, though, but it's not one that's for everyone. Now I sometimes cry several times a week. Still...

I'll mention it when I go monday. It may have more to do with my aphantasia, though (complete inability to have mental imagery), and seems to be relatively common among us. Just afraid of sounding like a hypochondriac when if I show up with a list of symptoms that she wasn't asking for.

Agreed completely! Tried making similar points, that I do some of this, but it's better explained by comorbidities and eccentricities, and yes, ordinary benign dissociation. But they're like "it really sounds like you might be dissociating! You should probably mention all this to your...

Lunch

Agree. It seemed overly broad. Also, diagnosis through facebook memes isn't a thing yet. Maybe in the next DSM revision they'll add it as a diagnostic method. I drive on autopilot all the time; freaks my wife out when we'll drive somewhere, and I'll have absolutely no memory of anything that...

Here's my responses to it. 1. Find yourself staring at one spot, not thinking anything: Yes, frequently 2. feel completely numb Emotionally sometimes, but not physically. Like I'm feeling depressed, or upset, but don't actually feel the emotion. Or know I should be having a strong emotional...

Seems overly broad, though, and includes a lot of stuff that could just be anxiety, depression, or other conditions. I hit a lot of them, and I don't have dissociation. Link Removed

Something

Rocks

I wasn't sure what kind of response you were after, either, but I am listening, and you are heard!

It's awful, to have so many people pressuring you, and acting entitled to yours, or anyone's, sexuality. It's endemic in our culture: boys are encouraged to take control of women's sexuality, but women are blamed when they do. Women who chose to be sexual on their own terms are also condemned...

I'd say I'm an intermediate artist. I've taken a few art classes, including ones that go over color theory, but never anything with painting, either physical or digital. I have had a fair amount of drawing experience, though. So I had an idea of what I was doing, but was still figuring it out as...