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Saw An Alleged "you Might Be Dissociating List"
- Post starter GwenDR
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- Post starter
- #2
Here's my responses to it.
1. Find yourself staring at one spot, not thinking anything:
Yes, frequently
2. feel completely numb
Emotionally sometimes, but not physically. Like I'm feeling depressed, or upset, but don't actually feel the emotion. Or know I should be having a strong emotional response, but don't feel anything. Like, after 9/11 I was more bothered that I wasn't upset than I was upset that there was a tragedy.
3 feel like your not really in your body/watching yourself like a movie
No, I don't think I do this.
4 Dizzy or lightheaded
During panic attacks, yeah, but I'm hyperventilating. Also when I stand up, becuase I'm tall.
5 lose the plot of a show or conversation you were focused on:
Multiple times per conversation, almost any conversation.
6 feel as if you're not quite real, like you're in a dream:
Since I was a kid, assumed I was just weird
7 feel like you're floating
No
8 suddenly feel like you're not a part of the world
Sort of, more like I shouldn't be, and that it makes no sense that I am
9 feel detached or far away from other people
Separated by an impenetrable barrier, but not so much that they're mechanical
10 are startled when someone/something gets your attention
To an extreme degree, all the time, yeah,
11: completely forget what you were thinking just a moment ago
This isn't normal? I do this frequently
12 suddenly cover your face or react as if you're abut to be hurt for no reason
I'll feel like I'm in danger, and want to curl up into a ball, does that count?
13 can't remember important information about yourself
No, I don't think so. I do have a very poor autobiographical memory, though.
14. find yourself rocking back and forth:
Frequently, especially when anxious. Isn't this just an anxiety symptom, though?
15. become very focused on a small or trivial object or event:
Yeah, enough so that I'll be late to work trying to resolve it when I could safely ignore it.
16 find that voices, sounds, or writing seem far away/have trouble understanding them
No
17 feel as if you just experienced a flashback (perhaps rapidly) but you can't remember anything about it:
I don't think I'm capable of traditional flashbacks as I have no visual imagery ever while awake, so if this happened, I wouldn't have anything to compare it to, that would make me think "that felt like I had a flashback." I might have emotional flashbacks, but I'm not sure what it would mean to have one and not remember anything about it, but feel like I had one.
18 Percieve your body as foreign or not belonging to you:
Other than gender dysphoria, not really.
I think most of those are explained by other conditions, though. Is this a bad list?
1. Find yourself staring at one spot, not thinking anything:
Yes, frequently
2. feel completely numb
Emotionally sometimes, but not physically. Like I'm feeling depressed, or upset, but don't actually feel the emotion. Or know I should be having a strong emotional response, but don't feel anything. Like, after 9/11 I was more bothered that I wasn't upset than I was upset that there was a tragedy.
3 feel like your not really in your body/watching yourself like a movie
No, I don't think I do this.
4 Dizzy or lightheaded
During panic attacks, yeah, but I'm hyperventilating. Also when I stand up, becuase I'm tall.
5 lose the plot of a show or conversation you were focused on:
Multiple times per conversation, almost any conversation.
6 feel as if you're not quite real, like you're in a dream:
Since I was a kid, assumed I was just weird
7 feel like you're floating
No
8 suddenly feel like you're not a part of the world
Sort of, more like I shouldn't be, and that it makes no sense that I am
9 feel detached or far away from other people
Separated by an impenetrable barrier, but not so much that they're mechanical
10 are startled when someone/something gets your attention
To an extreme degree, all the time, yeah,
11: completely forget what you were thinking just a moment ago
This isn't normal? I do this frequently
12 suddenly cover your face or react as if you're abut to be hurt for no reason
I'll feel like I'm in danger, and want to curl up into a ball, does that count?
13 can't remember important information about yourself
No, I don't think so. I do have a very poor autobiographical memory, though.
14. find yourself rocking back and forth:
Frequently, especially when anxious. Isn't this just an anxiety symptom, though?
15. become very focused on a small or trivial object or event:
Yeah, enough so that I'll be late to work trying to resolve it when I could safely ignore it.
16 find that voices, sounds, or writing seem far away/have trouble understanding them
No
17 feel as if you just experienced a flashback (perhaps rapidly) but you can't remember anything about it:
I don't think I'm capable of traditional flashbacks as I have no visual imagery ever while awake, so if this happened, I wouldn't have anything to compare it to, that would make me think "that felt like I had a flashback." I might have emotional flashbacks, but I'm not sure what it would mean to have one and not remember anything about it, but feel like I had one.
18 Percieve your body as foreign or not belonging to you:
Other than gender dysphoria, not really.
I think most of those are explained by other conditions, though. Is this a bad list?
Friday
Sponsor
Disassociation is part of a LOT of different disorders. Including none at all / part of completely normal healthy lives and living. The whole "driving on autopilot" thing is disassociation, as is day dreaming.
To me it just looks as if the list is geared toward trauma people. Could just as easily have read 'part of depression' for example.
To me it just looks as if the list is geared toward trauma people. Could just as easily have read 'part of depression' for example.
- Post starter
- #4
Agree. It seemed overly broad. Also, diagnosis through facebook memes isn't a thing yet. Maybe in the next DSM revision they'll add it as a diagnostic method.
I drive on autopilot all the time; freaks my wife out when we'll drive somewhere, and I'll have absolutely no memory of anything that happened the entire trip, but I'm pretty sure that's normal.
I drive on autopilot all the time; freaks my wife out when we'll drive somewhere, and I'll have absolutely no memory of anything that happened the entire trip, but I'm pretty sure that's normal.
digger
Sponsor
I think the clue is in the title, it says 'You may be dissociating if...' "may" being the keyword - it doesn't say that dissociation is the only possibility.
This is the thing with dissociation, some of it is perfectly 'normal'. Some level of dissociation in some circumstances doesn't have to be indicative of a problem. There is a difference between dissociation and a dissociative disorder (and not all problematic dissociation necessarily equates to a disorder either). If it's not at a level that's affecting you or your relationships negatively, then it's not a problem.
No, not particularly, but it's not a reliable diagnostic tool either.
Last edited:
- Post starter
- #6
Agreed completely! Tried making similar points, that I do some of this, but it's better explained by comorbidities and eccentricities, and yes, ordinary benign dissociation. But they're like "it really sounds like you might be dissociating! You should probably mention all this to your therapist" They're really sweet, though.
BlueOrange
Diamond Member
When you say "I have no memory of the trip at all," that doesn't sound entirely normal to me. If your wife is getting freaked out, it may be because she pays attention to you, and because you don't present to her in a normal way. My wife said "When he loses his temper, it's like he becomes a completely different person" well before I was diagnosed with DID.
One thing that people with a dissociative disorder do quite routinely is to deny that they have a dissociative disorder. You probably SHOULD mention all of this to your therapist. Your word choices imply that you're researching Facebook instead of talking to your therapist. That's not something that I feel comfortable with.
@Friday is right to say that you can't arrive at a diagnosis of a disorder based on internet conversations (including this one). Nor can you responsibly exclude a diagnosis based on internet conversations. If your wife is freaking out, do the responsible thing and talk to your therapist about it.
One thing that people with a dissociative disorder do quite routinely is to deny that they have a dissociative disorder. You probably SHOULD mention all of this to your therapist. Your word choices imply that you're researching Facebook instead of talking to your therapist. That's not something that I feel comfortable with.
@Friday is right to say that you can't arrive at a diagnosis of a disorder based on internet conversations (including this one). Nor can you responsibly exclude a diagnosis based on internet conversations. If your wife is freaking out, do the responsible thing and talk to your therapist about it.
- Post starter
- #8
I'll mention it when I go monday. It may have more to do with my aphantasia, though (complete inability to have mental imagery), and seems to be relatively common among us. Just afraid of sounding like a hypochondriac when if I show up with a list of symptoms that she wasn't asking for.
Muttly
Diamond Member
Your therapist is not going to think you are a hypochondriac just because you bring in a list like that. Unless your therapist stinks., your therapist is going to be interested in why you found the list and brought it in and how it resonates with you.
Also,I never heard of aphantasia. That might fit me. I have to google it now. heh. See, we are all curious about ourselves and what fits us and what doesn't.
Also,I never heard of aphantasia. That might fit me. I have to google it now. heh. See, we are all curious about ourselves and what fits us and what doesn't.
BlueOrange
Diamond Member
My therapist did get nervous about my self-diagnosis at first, but once I demonstrated that I was able to think critically about it, and that I took him seriously, he encouraged me to keep doing research. I can relate to 'fear of being perceived as a hypochondriac' - but if it's your wife who is freaking out, and people are pressuring you to talk about it (I'm certainly applying pressure), then mentioning that may help. It's also useful context for your therapist, stand by for questions like "what do you mean by freaked out?" and "Why do you think it freaks her out?"
- Post starter
- #11
Slight update. Noticed that I do in fact, get dizzy during anxiety/panic, and not in a hyperventilating way. Like I'm so nervous that I"m now made out of fuzz, vibrating and uncomfortable. Like I'm moving backwards while standing still. Think I've done it for a while, though not every time, but without really noticing or understanding it.
- Moderator
- #12
Sideways
VIP Member
Dissociation is a helpful tool for describing certain situations where our degree of conscious, right now brain function isn't entirely synced up.
Some people daydream a lot, which is a form of dissociation. And that's usually fine, no intervention required.
But alerting that person to the fact that they daydream a lot could be really helpful to that person, because it offers an alternative way of functioning, which is to learn to stay grounded and daydream/dissociate less, and enjoy living more in the present. Often the response is just like yours: "But I thought that was normal". Well, it may or may not be normal, so here's a list to help you with a bit more insight into your own experiences.
For any type of dissociation, even mild healthy versions like daydreaming, lists like this can help give a person insight into an experience that they may wrongly perceive as normal, or experiences which may be normal but not ideal (like always driving on autopilot).
To me, this list is potentially just helping a person realise that a lot of different types of experiences might all be dissociation, that you may be dissociating far more than you realise, and that's helpful because if you want, dissociating lots is something you can learn to manage.
Auto-pilot is normal, occasionally. Daydreaming is normal, occasionally. Most people don't know that they are often 2 different forms of the same thing. That knowledge, in itself, is valuable.
Some people daydream a lot, which is a form of dissociation. And that's usually fine, no intervention required.
But alerting that person to the fact that they daydream a lot could be really helpful to that person, because it offers an alternative way of functioning, which is to learn to stay grounded and daydream/dissociate less, and enjoy living more in the present. Often the response is just like yours: "But I thought that was normal". Well, it may or may not be normal, so here's a list to help you with a bit more insight into your own experiences.
For any type of dissociation, even mild healthy versions like daydreaming, lists like this can help give a person insight into an experience that they may wrongly perceive as normal, or experiences which may be normal but not ideal (like always driving on autopilot).
To me, this list is potentially just helping a person realise that a lot of different types of experiences might all be dissociation, that you may be dissociating far more than you realise, and that's helpful because if you want, dissociating lots is something you can learn to manage.
Auto-pilot is normal, occasionally. Daydreaming is normal, occasionally. Most people don't know that they are often 2 different forms of the same thing. That knowledge, in itself, is valuable.
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