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@Sarah2732 I can feel that what you are saying is true. I can feel how badly it feels when I am trying to talk, for the first time, about difficult things, and she isn't really paying attention. Well, I tell myself that she is, and that she can listen and do other things. Ultimately I don't...

I keep getting responses about getting a new therapist. I do see ways she is very unprofessional. ( eating snacks while we talk, having her dog there, feeding her dog snacks....) I know how bad that sounds, and then she seems to be very sharp, and knowledgable about trauma related issues. I just...

I am feeling so exhausted right now. The kind of physical exhaustion you feel when you have been crying really hard for a long time. I was wondering why I felt like this, then tried to remember if I cried while I was meeting with my therapist today. In trying to recal, I realized I don't...

Thanks @ghotiff and @Sarah2732 Although it is hard for me to form relationships and trust them, I think I will at least try with my T.

@Sarah2732 Thanks for telling me a bit about your experience. I have felt that I do "need" my therapist, at least for a little while. I have been looking for cues that it might be ok to attach to her a little bit, or depend on her. To do this is hard for me, but I feel that at this point I...

@BloomInWinter Thank you for the reminder. I can be really hard on myself. I was just so scared to all of a sudden fear someone I worked so hard to open up to and trust. ( my therapist) I will talk to her next week.

@BloomInWinter Yes, I have to agree with you about safety being important in trauma therapy, based on my experience of this last week. I have felt relatively safe so far. ( been in therapy since November) based on my experience last week, I feel very distressed to go back. I have gone from...

@Hashi I am not sure if I will be able to talk to her about this. I might be able to mention how difficult my last session was. She is a trauma therapist, and also along with adults, does work with children. The dog helps her work with them because they relax petting the dog and playing with...

Thank you for your input on this. I kept trying to make it all ok in my mind while it was happening. But today, it's like I am having images of sitting there with all of that happening, while having had let some memories come to the surface...... I felt like there was a huge argument inside of...

I was just attempting to work on a very difficult memory for the first time. I was struggling to not disassociate. Then my therapists dog starts barking at a painter right outside her window who is talking loud on his phone. She yells at her dog to be quiet, and I get a glimps of her angry...

Bitter blue, I don't have advice as I can so very closely relate right now to what you just shared. Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. I am trying to remember to take care of myself. Even small gestures sometimes.

@Hashi Yes, I do feel the therapy I am doing right now is greatly effecting the anxiety I am feeling. We are doing emdr, and right now " targeting" the worst memory I have. Actually, it's not even the memories. Right now she is just directing me towards being able to connect to the part of...

@Hashi I will be meeting with her on Thursday. I will talk about how much anxiety I am experiencing. Today I tried to make an appointment with a psych. Doctor to try and get some help but there is such a long wait list they aren't taking any more names until June to be on the list. I...

@Hashi I have mentioned, and I'm pretty sure she can see how much anxiety I am experiencing pretty constantly. She recommended a doctor for some possible help with medication just while I am starting therapy. It ends up that clinic got fed up with dealing with medical coverage, and only...

On the days I have an appointment for meeting with my therapist, I have so much anxiety! It is 8 am, my appointment is at 1pm, and I have having a hard time breathing, and really panicked. I really want to work on this stuff, but the thought of sitting in that chair, talking, remembering...

Love

I thought this was a part of disassociating. I'm new to all of this.... Lots to learn.

Played with "my little ponies" toys with some kids.

Gun

It sounds like you are disassociating. When it happens for me, it is similar to what you are describing. Kind of like checking out of your body. Smelling a scent, or feeling a texture Have helped me be able to feel again. Or talking myself through where I am am telling myself that I am safe.

@shell It took me a while to admit to my T. That I heard screaming sometimes. I would just say " it feels chaotic, I feel like I hear screaming". Then one day she said " do you hear the screaming?" I had a moment of being brave, and said "yes". She didn't seemed concerned or like it was a...

My eye twitches also when I am feeling anxiety. Or triggered in some way.

@Muse do you still hear the crying sometimes?

I got the courage last week to tell my therapist that sometimes I hear screaming and crying. I used to try and find the source of the crying, as it sounded like a child needed help. Now I've mostly learned that its not real, although I sometimes still look around to see if there is in fact a...

Thank you all for your replies. I did bring it up with myT. She said she was glad I asked her about her comment. She explained that as we grow we take different parts of different people into ourselves, good and bad. Also she said that it was easier and less overwhelming for me to internalize...