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There's nothing left in me. No fight. No love. No will.

What's the point of even killing myself when, on the inside, I'm already dead?

It's more than that. I can download full albums from Google's entire catalog to listen without using data and listen to albums straight-through without being forced into a "radio" feature with other artists or albums. The catalog is broader than Prime's free catalog. And, as a bonus, ad free...

I have YouTube Red as it's included with Google Play (music subscription service). It gives me ad free YouTube as well as background play on my phone (without YTR, all YouTube videos stop playing when you switch apps or turn the screen off). Full movies usually require a rental from the Google...

I don't think I'm capable of getting attached. We just dissociate those kinds of feelings into an irrelevant box now.

I'm in the same position. Can't bring myself to get out of the house, let alone my room, though. (Just an FYI, stretching is for after exercise or at least after a warm up. Always start with a gentle warm up.)

Are you stable? Nope Are you safe (is your living situation free from abuse, do you have food, electricity, etc.)? Never guaranteed Can you self-regulate? Haha, what? No. Have you developed distress tolerance skills? Yes. Are you using maladaptive coping mechanisms (drinking, cutting...

What does ETA mean in forums? I've seen it more than once. I always knew ETA to mean "estimated time of arrival" but it never fits when people are using it on boards.

I just want to rip the band aid off already. (obviously while in a safe environment where we are also safe from ourselves)

Mine also had been a "heart of the matter" type and I don't think they realized how prone I'd be to attempting suicide and for my system to fall to pieces just by even the vaguest of "heart" questions. I don't even know how many of my alters popped out in those sessions when it was ONLY...

Found this brilliant piece by someone with DID/MPD regarding the movie Split. A Letter to Universal Pictures - Wish Dish

Problem is, while half of my system wholeheartedly supports locking down and shutting down, we're a force to be reckoned with when it comes to wanting to power through material and just get everything over with already. It's almost like a mental form of self harm...

So I've been waiting to get into Sheppard Pratt Trauma Disorders Unit/Program for ages now due to paperwork screw ups. My original intention for going was because every time I try to deal with trauma, we just end up a suicidal wreck. My treatment team figured that inpatient was the best...

Currently, my life is the left panel. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10103098625890849&substory_index=1&id=17828240

I took two different anxiety meds last night and today am feeling a bit more normal. If I weren't in so much physical (not psychosomatic) pain I would have tried a weighted blanket but it simply wasn't the best idea at the time (I didn't have the capacity to even lift one onto myself). It was...

Whoops. Got my period, gotta run to CVS for chocolate and tampons. See ya.

Well... shit. :sorry:

Anybody else get burning/firey skin on their abdomen? Feels like a friction burn. I first remember it happening when I was 7. I told the school nurse something was scratching my belly from the inside out back and forth. There is no visible evidence of it.

I'm so hypervigilant that every brush against my body by something else causing me to react as if protecting myself from physical pain. This "state" is so alive right now and every time it happens the terror is so real. I don't know what to do about it. Some kind of invisible monster is...

I went through similar a year ago when my primary moved cross country. They had been there for my whole "story". I hardly use my new primary. My old one was a lifeline.

Also trying to figure out how to convey "hold" to my dog. For now, we're working on "trash" which involves aiming where my dog drops an item. So, that's something.

I'm having the same issue with Hulu. Almost had to upgrade to "no commercials" just to avoid it. Thankfully, the frequency lessened about a week after I posted this.

Let me guess....... None.

I wouldn't count on spontaneous improvement. You were just lucky that you had the appropriate level of currency for the occasion. In the future, either bring high value rewards or be willing to buy some Slim Jims from the store if you have to. The reward must be greater than the stimulus you are...

We were a tight bunch. College buddies. All the same classes together. We'd even cry together over how insanely difficult our one prof was. They also happened to take the train to and from school anyways, they didn't go out of their way to accommodate me. They just made sure to keep an eye...