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I have a part that wants to take over the scene and creates shut down in session, and we are trying to get it to stand aside and let my true self and or younger self be seen. It's a struggle and not easy as I keep having writing sessions and spoken sessions outside of therapy asking it to step...

I used sex and drugs in my 20s. I do like healthier thrills now like mountain climbing, rafting, biking, whatever puts me in nature. Danger has lost its appeal because I do love life and longevity is important to me. To be hurt to the point of being incapacitated? Yeah, not worth the risk.

That was a very powerful session for you. I think that's wonderful that you could go to such a deep and meaningful place with her. I always am a bit stunned, overwhelmed, baffled yet relieved when these hard sessions happen. It's hard but it feels like progress.

Well, it is sad and serious and in a way them showing that gives us permission to feel it, too, which is part of the healing. I know how hard it is to talk about, and you can ease into it by presenting the details in writing and then talk about that, maybe? Once you start, it is a huge weight...

Sound or not, it is still an intrusion into the most private of situations. I would feel our space had been violated and would have a difficult time returning to it. Hopefully he has a space without a camera? I understand how this could be especially upsetting if you were inappropriately...

It is important for trauma therapists to take a bit more precaution, in my opinion it was a big oversight to not mention the camera was new and why it was there. Many folks get upset by the simple rearrangement of furniture by their T. Not our place to say they are over reacting. We are all in...

Definitely dump her. As survivors, we need to trust that our T will be the steady and reliable support that we never received, to prove someone will commit to us. Sometimes they are flakes and it is good you found out early before you are too emotionally attached. If she can't manage her own...

You don't have to go into therapy telling them whether you have PTSD (that is their job) or that you know what the problem is but you can go into therapy to break this down into much smaller and manageable pieces. Give it a try.

Yes, the inner critic is common w PTSD. Working on my self esteem made that sucker shut up.

Richard Schwartz defined the Internal Family Systems so check out some of his material and vids on YouTube for more info on roles of parts. My one protector (I have 3) writes with me that they've been with me since my earliest days and are afraid of being no longer needed. They are also afraid...

You were very brave to share all of that. I hope your T can help you find peace.

I have a part that hijacks me in session and I freeze alot. My thoughts disappear. We are engaging with this part with hopes it will someday step side. It is a protector. Do you think your distractions help keep you out of your body? Do you want to be more engaged? It can be a tough transition...

Weekly. Then twice weekly. Then overwhelm. Then a break. Then weekly. Going back to twice weekly. One x per week is easier; twice a week, I feel like Im digging in and going deep. Very different scenarios.

Thanks. I am having a hard time cutting the cord, thinking there are still things to fix. Maybe there is more healing to do? Or maybe I'm good enough? Argh. Or maybe it's time to dig in deeper again. Lots to consider.

I've also read these articles about DNA and Holocaust victims passing down trauma. I have my doubts, too. I think if trauma can alter DNA, it could pass down a propensity for anxiety and depression, but that's still not the same! So I ain't buying it.

Yes, some memories came back decades later. And some came back last year in therapy. One of the hardest things was believing it could be real. It is still hard to accept. It sent me into a dark place for a while. The furniture could be triggering. Memories are odd and not logical. Oddly, last...

Thanks! I went in today and she anticipated my usual post-break reluctance and managed to poke a few weak spots. :shifty: I guess she has a good memory. I will relish the break. That is a good point about working things on our own.

I've been doing my work w the T for a little over 4 years. I've learned a considerable amount about myself, and her, and the last year was tough in that it brought up a lot of repressed memories and experiences that I never knew existed. Am I all fixed? No. Will I ever be? Will any one ever be...

I haven't been to therapy for 3 weeks and tomorrow I go back. Every time there is a break like this, I feel fine and wonder why I am even going. Yet there are underlying issues, like anxiety, that crop up here and there, but I survived very well for a long time without it. Feeling hamster...

Bad ear infections as a kid resulted in busted ear drums. Too many loud concerts. Firecracker went off in my ear. It drives me bonkers sometimes to never know complete silence.

One thing I forgot is that trauma therapy is usually long, slow and frustrating. A trauma T may realize that decades old defenses take a while to change vs 10 sessions and out.

One of my biggest challenges, as it feels so natural and comforting. However, it frustrates me to no end when I realize I only remember a fraction of the wisdom my T shared w me. :-/

This is just to say I ate the last bit of chocolate No I ate all of the chocolate In spite of your efforts to hide it To save it To forget about it And bring it out on special occasions You know how I am Now allow me to simply ask "Do you have any more chocolate?"

Agree about the yoga. I also watch YouTube a lot to learn about different diagnoses, therapeutic modalities and presentations by well known trauma book authors. How to get things out tho, you probably need to be heard. If not therapy, a support group?

I had a truckload of counselors who shuffled my folder amongst their caseloads. Now I have a T who has a CV of training with experts and understands dissociation, emotional flashbacks, repressed memories, the effects of neglect and sexual abuse and all of those things. For me, it made a big...