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I've never written a letter to my younger self before, but I have written a letter to two of my abusers as well as multiple people who were involved in it. When you've posted it, could you leave me a link to it on my message board? I'm sort of debating doing this for myself.

It's actually relatively normal (for trauma victims, at least) to feel a sort of connection to your abuser, even to miss them or wish you could see them again. It sort of goes along with the concept of Stockholm's Syndrome, where the abused sympathizes or bonds with their abuser. I had a...

I'm happy that you've been doing well in therapy & that you were brave enough to leave your husband. I'm proud of you ;) I was retraumatized as well by seeing my abuser every day at school. Insight is a great thing to have. Best of luck to you.

I've never thrown up from my memories but I did have somatic flashbacks. One of my traumas was a sexual assault in which I was held underwater, & multiple times I woke up in the middle of the night coughing & choking because I felt the water in my lungs again. Since the sickness is coming...

I had a hard time accepting my PTSD diagnosis when I got it a little over a year ago. I kept telling myself that PTSD only happened to people with "real" problems. It took a lot for me to give myself validation for what had happened to me. This forum has helped me a lot in the month or two...

@Pinkmoon1 There really is no "cured" stage when it comes to PTSD. It is something that you can definitely learn to live with, accept, & you can build a life outside of PTSD- but there's nothing that will "cure" it for good. Like any serious medical condition, even once you're not having severe...

You should be proud of yourself for making it all the way through med school after facing a trauma. A lot of people throw in the towel after that (which is nonetheless, understandable) but it takes a lot of dedication to make it through like you did. There will be setbacks, but I think you can...

Aside from seeing your own professionals, I have a little bit of advice for PTSD relationships. There needs to be boundaries. At some point, no matter how much he loves you he may lash out. It happens to almost all of us with PTSD- taking our anger out on those we care about the most. You...

Men can get sexually abused too- not just women & children. Anyone can be a victim.

@Chris0825 what medications are you on & for how long have you been taking them?

Hi! This site has helped me a lot. I have Bipolar I & PTSD as well.

@y5L If you're ready to take the next step, then it is time for you to accept reality. But it's also okay not to be ready if you don't think you're in a good place to deal with the past.

I used to have something like that too. Every time anyone touched me the area would start tingling & would go numb. It wouldn't stop until something distracted me enough to make me forget about it. I only had a problem with it while I was repressing memories of my trauma & I guess it was...

I've learned some things about therapy throughout years of it & multiple hospitalizations. One of those things is if you're going to see a therapist, the only way they can help you is if you're honest. If you lie to them, you lie to yourself a little as well. You get as much out of therapy as...

I hate eating in silence, my own chewing noises bother the hell out of me. I usually don't mind eating with other people as long as I don't have to talk while eating- I see it as awful disgusting manners. Listening to other people smack their lips when they eat or talk with their mouth full...

I did a quick search on EFT but couldn't find anything clear on it. What is it? How does it compare to EMDR?

I agree with @Loner Flashbacks vary a lot person to person. My best advice is not to try to force these memories to come back or become clearer. It will happen on its own when you are ready for it. You're definitely not alone. I've had very similar experiences with flashbacks & repressed...

I think you can read into this as much or as little as you want to. I haven't read the other comments so I'm not sure if I'm repeating anyone but; your living space is a very personal thing & how you treat it could possibly be a reflection of how you feel about yourself.

Although I don't have it, I know other individuals well over the age of 5 who are diagnosed with it. Its development is usually triggered by events that happened in the very early childhood.

I've been vegetarian for years. In September I was prescribed a much higher dose of Lithium than necessary which suppressed my thyroid so I gained about 20 pounds... I've been trying to lose that slowly, as I don't want to relapse into my eating disorder.

Thank you for posting this. It made me realize something about my psychological scars. Even though my abuse was mainly sexual, the few words that were spoken about it hurt me more than the original abuse.

I had never thought about this before, but wow... It sure did. Before the trauma that set off my PTSD happened, I listened to a lot of soft rock bands like Coldplay, The Fray, etc. Within weeks I had lost interest in all of those artists. I started listening to hard rock & metal. I had...

Although my traumas were completely different from yours I can relate a lot to your symptoms. I had problems with self-medicating with Xanax & alcohol too. I also had severe nightmares & night terrors, which I'm now on medication for, & I'm diagnosed with Bipolar I as well. When you say an...

I've had similar experiences as this, although mine were less intense I think. I would never have my back to the door; I always had too see the face of anyone who entered the room. I preferred doors to be closed so that if someone came in, I would be aware. For me it was all related to...

It is entirely possible to be traumatized by something relatively innocent, such as medical procedures. However that is not the same as being molested. When I was around 4, I suffered from severe nose bleeds & had to get a minor surgery in my nose to stop it. I remember it being terrifying...