StellaBlue
Gold Member
Well…I’m finally taking the plunge – joined this group and am posting an introduction. It’s taken me a really long time to accept that I have PTSD. It was always easier to view myself as crazy…and there have been a number of diagnoses, which always had PTSD tagged on. I didn’t buy it – PTSD was for combat veterans or survivors of natural disasters. I figured it was a label that my therapist(s) put on me so the insurance would pay. The day I finally accepted it (about 6 months ago), I cried…and then I called my current therapist and asked if he thought it was an accurate diagnosis (even though he had diagnosed it 2 years ago – and, as I said, others have diagnosed it years ago). I’m always the last to know.
So, I started to do some research, read some books, looked around the internet, lurked around this site…and things started to click. And when I figured out what I needed to do to heal from this…I went and hid for a while. Prior to accepting that I had PTSD, my therapist talked me into doing a year of DBT – hated being in a group, but can’t begin to describe how value of the tools I gained. So now, we’re starting the “trauma” work. Boy does that suck…but there are times (and they are more frequent and longer) when, for the first time in my life, I actually feel…real, solid, alive. I have kept a DBT diary card for over a year now, and I can look at those cards and see the changes – the amazing reductions in suicide ideation and other “maladaptive” behaviors. For the first time in my life, I think…maybe…I can be whole, or at least not a giant walking wound.
I can’t guarantee I’ll post much. I’m much more comfortable watching the party swirl around me…but I will try to participate. I’ve been practicing stretching my comfort zone – and joining this group is one of those stretches.
So, I started to do some research, read some books, looked around the internet, lurked around this site…and things started to click. And when I figured out what I needed to do to heal from this…I went and hid for a while. Prior to accepting that I had PTSD, my therapist talked me into doing a year of DBT – hated being in a group, but can’t begin to describe how value of the tools I gained. So now, we’re starting the “trauma” work. Boy does that suck…but there are times (and they are more frequent and longer) when, for the first time in my life, I actually feel…real, solid, alive. I have kept a DBT diary card for over a year now, and I can look at those cards and see the changes – the amazing reductions in suicide ideation and other “maladaptive” behaviors. For the first time in my life, I think…maybe…I can be whole, or at least not a giant walking wound.
I can’t guarantee I’ll post much. I’m much more comfortable watching the party swirl around me…but I will try to participate. I’ve been practicing stretching my comfort zone – and joining this group is one of those stretches.
