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I’m so sorry this happened to you. It must have been a horrible experience to make you feel like a part of you has died. I know the feeling of thinking a part of you, or something inside you, has died. I believe it can be hard & sometimes impossible to go back to who we were before traumatic...

I think clenching generally makes me less stressed when my anxiety is high... definitely a coping mechanism for me. I imagine if there is literally nowhere else for your tension to go, whether physically or in your voice then it ends up in your jaw. I’d love to know if anyone has other thoughts...

I definitely see this in myself. I think most attitudes and approaches can have positives and negatives. I know my “I am not a victim” thing can be very stubborn and unforgiving of myself but it also means I’ll keep working at what I think will help me. Some people I know have a great deal of...

@piratelady Thank you for your reply! I'm sorry you still struggle with shame even after trying to overcome it and I wish you luck in the future 🧡 I've enjoyed it so far! Although I got side tracked reading some other things. I've never read much else specifically addressing shame so I probably...

@Friday Thank you so much for your reply! I also feel like I abandoned this thread a bit and would like to hash it out more. I really like this! I think it's defiantly important to acknowledge everyone struggles with this regardless of their different experiences! Yes! I get this as well, I...

@Movingforward10 Thank you so much for your response! Yes, I can understand that. I think often even when we don't cognitively think we are ashamed our actions or bodies often betray how we feel even when we don't understand it ourselves.. I definitely think that acknowledging it is also an...

Have recently started “It Wasn’t Your Fault” by Beverly Engel. The book talks a lot about how to heal shame imposed by traumatic events. I’ve never related to the concept of shame before but, after discussing it with friends, I realised I do experience feelings related to/caused by shame I...

I’ve found it helpful in dealing with other people, I had a situation where someone I had just met was triggered (I think it was a flashback situation as we spoke a little about it afterwards) and I focused on using the idea’s of getting someone from “fight and flight” to “safe and social” by...

@RussellSue Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I think we have a very similar mindset when it comes to these things, whilst I enjoy spending time with people but I also find it very difficult to not believe they are not self-centred and won't hurt others. I think I can defiantly...

I agree you ought to talk to an adult about this. But also remember some adults also have their own agendas. If you tell someone and you feel like they dismiss you or don’t listen to you and put their own interpretation on events, please don’t be deterred and talk to someone else instead. You’ve...

Haven’t worked through this but I definitely know the feeling of wanting to say something/answer a question but having just blankness in your brain. I find it difficult as I always promise myself I’ll be open and then I feel as if I physically can’t.

Hey, I have defiantly felt like this at points in my life. I'm not going to tell you it will all work out and you'll be happy everyday-- but it will be better than this. Take it from someone who didn't believe that for a long time. You can survive this and get to a point where things will feel...

Thanks so much for your response. This is really helpful to me. I have definitely put myself in bad situations because I think every person is as trustworthy as the next, when that's not true and some people are definitely safer than others and you should work on putting safe people in your...

@Teasel Ah yeah that’s right! must’ve copied that down wrong I definitely found it a lot more digestible than Van der Kolk and some other people I’ve read— would recommend listening from episode 1 so it makes sense tho :)

This sounds great! Will defiantly look into it. In terms of psychology, I've defiantly found "Safe Not Stuck" (naff title but) about the polyvagal theory really interesting. Also love 'The TLS Podcast' and 'Page 94,' Private Eye's podcast. Also 'The Anthropocene Reviewed' is good!

Totally get it being scary to show emotions when you don’t feel it. I also think I don’t have as good a gauge on other people’s feelings and how things effect them when I can’t feel my own. As someone who’s normally hyperaware of other people’s moods it kinda feels like being on a boat without a...

I’m so glad you’ve found someone who’s a good fit :) The guilt thing must be really difficult for you, but the fact that she made that observation probably means she’ll be a good person to work through that with

Hey, I don't have any real advice but I just wanted to let you know you are definitely not alone in this. I think for me it's an emotional numbing thing, I feel pain so I numb out and don't feel anything about anyone or anything. It feels like the world isn't real. I think an important thing I...

I have had this argument recently with a lot of people I'm close to. I guess I just have a lot of beliefs about the world being bad, people being generally self interested, and things not tending towards getting better. Whilst there is evidence on both sides, I think I would find it impossible...

That's a really interesting point I will definitely consider what triggers come up when I'm doing this. I think one of my problems with this exercise is being at home/told I am safe/comforted can be a trigger for me. I appreciate you explaining it like that as it makes a lot of sense and is a...

That’s a good distinction. I think I often feel safer in unsafe situations because at least then I am in control of the danger whereas when there is nothing unsafe but I still feel unsafe I start to think I'm losing it. I think being able to feel safe and relax when I am actually safe is an...

This I can also definitely get behind :))

That seems like a good plan, breaking things down into more manageable chunks. How does that work with more intrusive symptoms though? @RussellSue Thank you for your reply! That seems like a good idea. I've been looking at a DBT workbook with similar exercises to this and I might try to work...

I am attempting the first of the recovery steps, to establish a sense of safety, however, I’m finding most of the resources I turn to jump straight into pretty triggering material which makes my symptoms worse. Does anyone know of any workbooks, exercises or other things I can try to help with...

@MainerMikeBrown I’m sorry you had a poor experience. I think it’s important to remember to stick to your values and what feels right and that therapists are not always good at their jobs.