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Just thought of another analogy. . . PTSD is like a normal with an injured toe. Sometimes, if you distract yourself enough, you can sometimes thing it isn't there, but as soon as you take a step, it starts hurting. You have stuff to do, so you walk on it anyway and do your best to deal with...

Welcome xxlt, Please do check out the wiki and the forums. A lot of us have found a very nice community here. The mods do work at keeping the forum a healthy place to be. There is no posting quota. I don't think the goal is to create anxiety for newcomers, but because there are lots of...

When I found this forum, I was actually struck by the similarities between those of us who have PTSD due to repeated childhood trauma and those with combat trauma and incident trauma (car wreck, violence, nurses/paramedics/cops). If you force me to name a difference, I think it would be due to...

Cerulean, You changed my mind. What you said above is what I hate most about PTSD, too.

Proactive, Totally Stressed Defense

I'm over 40 and my trauma started very young. I have spent most of my years trying to appear normal, sometimes quite well. It is my greatest regret. All of that time and energy hiding who I am will never be recovered. While the hiding has provided me some good things, mostly material, it...

Great thread! Very hard question :nailbiting:;) I deserve enough time and space to get better.

This one will probably sound silly, but. . . I'm thankful that my favorite sports team (Oregon Ducks) are doing so well. Watching them play is a great way for me to safely express emotions.

I made the classic social media mistake too many times and now avoid Facebook, etc as much as possible, especially when my symptoms are running hot. What is the classic social media mistake? Drunk facebooking. :)

Tired and slow. . .but also a little bit relieved. I am not feeling under constant attack this morning.

. . .when you identify with the villains in movies and books.

Hi Loveneverfails, Yeah, this was the first time I've had emotions with it. Before, it has always been just my body doing weird things along with a visual here and there. The ones that lasted a long time. . .I ended up being bored and wondering when it would be over. :) I'll be talking to...

Prepare To See Dangers

It's been awhile since I had one, but a couple nights ago I had a pretty powerful one. They seem to be progressing. In this one, all of my core muscles tightened up so much that my torso was off the bed by about 30 degrees. . .basically, a 2+ minute crunch exercise. Hurt like hell. After...

I remember having one of those old little plastic gumball machines at 3ish. Next memory was trying to teach myself to read when I was 4 or 5 and getting smackd upside the head because I was sitting too close to the TV. . . After that, a few scenes, a few grade school classmates, but not much...

Radio stations that play Underground/New Wave music from the 80's

I don't wanna be angry at work today Actually, I don't wanna work today. Love this thread, think I will be a regular contributer here :)

Been angry for three days now. It's mostly because off work. One of my guys is consistently negative and creating conflict within our team. For some reason, he seems to have earned his way into triggerhood. Anyway, he said something particularly nasty publicly, so I returned the favor...

Hi Maddog, You were one of the first to provide much needed support to me when I first found this forum. Thank You. You helped get me through some tough times and I will always remember it.

Indifference by Pearl Jam Oh, I will stand arms outstretched Pretend I'm free to roam Oh, I will make my way Through one more day in hell How much difference does it make? How much difference does it make? I will hold the candle 'Til it burns up my arm Oh, I'll keep takin' punches...

I still do not understand this. The good things I have done for people are things I should be doing anyway, the mistakes are, well, mistakes. My supporters tell me that is not the way to look at things, but I really don't know how to look at it any other way yet.

So unbelievably angry today. Close to overwhelming any coping skills I have.

It seems to me that diagnoses are becoming less and less useful, at least to patients, as the frequency, quality and advancement of brain-related research has grown. Clinicians cannot keep up unless they specialize. Diagnoses seem to be primarily useful for bureaucratic reasons. ...

Yes. . .now which one is the Swiss cheese? :) I have noticed that the more activated my other PTSD symptoms are, the more cheesier(?) my brain becomes. . .sucks when you can't think of your wife or kids name.

bravery