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  1. T

    I Need Other Perspectives, Please

    I think you can forgive a lot of things, but not trying to understand your symptoms isn't one of them. I think you should work on your explosive temper, and as he sees you making progress there, ask him to work on not lying. The thing is, both of you are feeding each other's inappropriate...
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    Trigger Unknown

    Fair point. It just took a week for it all to hit me, I guess.
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    Trigger Unknown

    @heyheyhey acting it out for me would usually be violent, so I don't. I opt for the flight response and try to leave the situation. Sit in the closet or under a table or, as was the case this Sunday, in the hallway. I hadn't thought about internal triggers. I wish I could remember what I was...
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    Trigger Unknown

    My partner and I went to church last Sunday and as soon as we got in and sat down I started panicking. My legs were shaking and my breathing was heavy and I couldn't say a thing. We stood for the first hymn--we usually share a hymnal--and I dropped my half after barely mustering the first few...
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    Need Sufferer Opinion On Realtionship

    Sometimes we get so wrapped up in communicating our feelings of support that we forget to say what we actually need to continue to be supportive. Your partner probably knows you love and support him, but we don't always realize when we are making it difficult for our supporters to support...
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    Intimacy And Ptsd

    Don't push yourself to be physically intimate. When you're ready, you'll know. And when you're with a supportive person and you feel emotionally connected to them, and they're right for you, you'll know, and you'll be surprised and how comfortable you are with intimacy when everything is right...
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    Need Sufferer Opinion On Realtionship

    After reading through the comments here, I have this to say: If you are truly willing to give him space when he needs it, communicate that to him and make a very specific request that includes the phrase, "Please let me know when you need me to give you space; I would like to support you, but I...
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    Do Men "need" Sex, If So, Why?

    Men and women both need sex. It's a basic biological need for most human beings. That being said, what they actually need is orgasm, which is not dependent on a partner, though a partner is often the preferred method. A need for sex shouldn't be used as a way to demand or manipulate in a...
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    Making The Most Of A Crap Therapist

    Absolutely agree. It's good to say right at the beginning what you expect/need from your therapist. If you find your therapist consistently unwilling to follow a treatment plan you've agreed on, request a new one.
  10. T

    Christianity/christians

    Ok then. :)
  11. T

    How To Talk To Kids About What's Wrong With Me?

    You've hit my concern right on the head. Thanks for responding.
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    How To Talk To Kids About What's Wrong With Me?

    Oh the noise isn't the issue so much as it is being able to talk to them in a real way. When the noise is too much I step out, or if it's a designated together time I ask them to lower their volumes. Usually it works. Occasionally Dad steps in with a "stop yelling or go to your room," but that's...
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    How To Talk To Kids About What's Wrong With Me?

    My partner's kids have been visiting us for the past two weeks.They're funny, smart, and thoughtful, and also loud (trigger). Mostly it's been good, and my partner has been understanding about when I need to just go hide somewhere quiet for a while. Something came up in the car the other day...
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    Christianity/christians

    I sort of disagree. I think we should be able to disclose PTSD as it's relevant. Disclosing is different than telling everything about it, but I find that you can drop it into a relevant conversation without it being a big deal. When I'm startled more than is normal by something, I will often...
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    Christianity/christians

    That was a little venomous and unnecessary. You don't have to be a Christian to have compassion for those who are. I'm a pantheist. At the end of the day, we all struggle with morality and spiritual issues, and we can connect to each other on that basis. How some people feel about God is how I...
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    Christianity/christians

    Forgiveness is a huge topic even outside of Christianity. I had a therapist tell me over and over to forgive my dad, made me read a book about forgiveness, and still argued with me about it. My stance is that you can forgive someone and still be angry about what they've done sometimes. I find...
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    Relationship Accidentally Triggered My Girlfriend's Ptsd. How Do I Help Her?

    Yes, yes, yes. I was triggered this morning because my BF was angry with the IT guy (over the phone) and made that move like he was going to throw a spatula--but I was right in the line of fire when he turned around. No spatula thrown, sincere remorse on his face, but I'm extremely triggered...
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    Relationship Accidentally Triggered My Girlfriend's Ptsd. How Do I Help Her?

    Absolutely. I'm still trying to get my partner to understand how yelling affects me. He's seen it a few times, when he's mad at something unrelated to me and he yells about something and I'll just start crying. And sometimes he gets frustrated with me and says what I'm sure so many of us hear...
  19. T

    Relationship Success Stories

    In reading your list of tips, this post-traumatically-stressed person thinks you sound like a remarkable partner, I second your advice.
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    Relationship Success Stories

    My current relationship is successful so far, and a lot of it is communication and compassion. If we fall apart, it won't be because of PTSD. If both parties can't talk about the initial trauma, ongoing triggers, symptoms, and their general experiences, then it's not going to work. My fellow...
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    Trusting My Little Voice

    Either he was with someone else, in which case a relationship with him might not be a good idea OR you are so convinced he was with someone else that a relationship with him might not be a good idea. Either he's untrustworthy, or you won't allow yourself to trust him. Either way, that...
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    Why Am I To Blame?

    It's important to set boundaries. And it's ok to say get therapy or I'm leaving--but if you say it, you have to mean it and you have to do it. PTSD is not an excuse. Sometimes I treat people like shit because I am having a PTSD moment, and it's not ok, and it's never their fault. And when...
  23. T

    Relationship Desperate, Need Help.

    I'd recommend you see a counselor on your own to sort through your feelings about divorce and single parenthood, and I wish you strength during what may very well be the hardest experience of your life.
  24. T

    Fear Of Abandonment/rejection

    For me it's not so much fear of abandonment, it's fear of control (like, other people taking control that they shouldn't or being controlling).
  25. T

    Understanding Dissociation; A Healthy Relationship

    Sex. Ugh. Therapy helped me deal with so much stuff, but I found that the most effective thing for sex was the right partner. In intimate relationships, I always disclosed my sex issue and how sometimes I'm tense because of flashbacks, or because I'm scared I will get flashbacks. This didn't...
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