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Your partner isn't necessarily cold and heartless and what happened doesn't mean that the previous years weren't real or really her or of value to her and to you. People change a lot over time and a lot of people grow apart in their marriages, even people who don't have PTSD or other mental...

That is all so much to go through, Friday, and no one should have to go through any of it, much less so many compounded traumas. I really feel for you. And it seems like once we are traumatized, we just become a magnet for more abusers who see our vulnerability from a mile away, so it's so...

The crying is helping, even if it doesn't feel like it; it's genuinely good for your body to relieve those feelings physically. You've gone through a huge loss and deserve to cry, grieve, and process it. I cried for basically 3 months straight at the start of my partner's breakdown and I still...

Thank you so much for your post, @Friday, because I think that what you experience is probably similar to what my partner is experiencing based on his training, combat history and the things he has said to me. Your post made things make a lot more sense to me. When I was packing to leave, my...

We were together for 8 years where he was open and loving a majority of the time before his breakdown and it is the only time in my life where I have felt truly happy and understood, connected to another person like we were, but it didn't stop me from having mental health issues, no. When I...

With my partner, no. He was in the military for 20 years and did multiple deployments to Iraq, Afghanistan and Somalia. He experienced the usual "don't have PTSD or we will discharge you" crap and "don't take any medicine to help any of the PTSD symptoms we have given you or we will discharge...

When my partner first rejected me, I felt like I was drowning and couldn't get myself oriented to find the surface, so I went back into therapy to get myself upright and to start to make sense of exactly what the hell happened and to understand that it wasn't my fault at all, even though my...

I understand. I relied so heavily on my partner of 8 years and thought our life was all figured out and I was happily looking forward to the future we had planned. I am literally selling my home because he told me to move in with him, and he just suddenly turned into a different person who...

It's awful that she didn't text you at all or give you a headsup, but maybe it's a blessing at this point that she is setting you free. Now you know for sure what she wants and is doing and hopefully you can start doing the things that you need to truly be okay within yourself and to recover...

That feeling of helplessness and guilt for not being able to help someone you love is normal, even when we rationally know that there is nothing that we can do and that we have always tried our best. I guess you could try to get your partner to do individual counseling and couple's counseling...

I am so very sorry for you and what you have been going through :(. She is refusing to go to therapy and has become incredibly abusive towards you and, at the point where she is getting you into actual legal trouble, I really hope that you leave and protect yourself. If she isn't acknowledging...

Thank you for the video; it really explained a lot of my feelings in a concise way. It has bothered me that it has become almost trendy to call someone a narcissist nowadays and every person calls their ex a narcissist, but NPD is a real disorder that isn't all that common in the population...

Thank you so much for this post and these links. They answered a lot of questions that I've had in a much clearer way than I was finding anywhere else. ((hugs back))

I don't feel that my partner displays a lot of narcissistic traits, but he truly does seem to be exhibiting the typical patterns of someone who is suffering from cycling through PTSD related to combat trauma, which is something that he has been diagnosed with. People are flawed and I think...

No, I know we had a full and functional relationship and a fairly normal life together up until November, and I've done the therapy work to tackle my own issues (starting from age 12 to now), and I think that him being grilled over his divorce and his past combat experience (to get his top...

I think that I would be in a much worse place if my partner had ghosted me entirely and I was truly reaching the point of zero hope for our relationship, even though I do feel myself sort of closing off and preparing for the worst. I dread the point when I do try to talk to him and there's just...

I wasn't saying to tell her you want a divorce if she doesn't change or to use it as a threat to try to change behavior, not that at all, but to genuinely ask her if she wants a divorce, since she has been talking about getting divorced and being divorced from you to other people and she is...

She moved out 7 months ago, she hasn't really spoken to you at all since January, and you suspect that she has been cheating on you and telling other people that you are already divorced or that you're in the process of getting divorced. You said that you've essentially been in a sexless and...

I have CPTSD from being sex trafficked, tortured and abused as a child and adolescent. I actually have PTSD complicated with dissociative identity disorder. I know how hard it is to be trying to "find yourself" when you weren't allowed to form a concrete identity while growing up and you never...

I've worried sometimes that we have elements of a codependent relationship wherein I take care of him and ignore my own needs, wants and thoughts to keep him happy and calm. I have always had to just let go of a lot of things that hurt me to keep the peace. I don't want to start hating on our...

I've had several people over the years tell me that he sounds like a narcissist, but I don't think that the diagnosis fits. He tends to have very low self-esteem from being abused as a child and tends to feel inadequate. He shies away from compliments and doesn't believe them. He doesn't take...

When I say arguing, I mean more in the sense of simply "disagreeing." I don't ever raise my voice or get aggressive. I mean when he is accusing me of something and clearly isn't functioning in reality, is it okay for me to say that no, I did not do that and that didn't happen, and here is...

We both work from home, so that 60% of the time was every second of the day spent together and we were both always very clingy with each other. He never wanted me to leave, but I had to because I still had responsibilities at my home and medical appointments that I had to go to, so I'd stay...

I have C-PTSD from being badly abused, neglected, and sex trafficked as a child and adolescent. My partner also had a rough childhood with neglect from his parents and abuse from his mother, but he has combat related PTSD from multiple deployments into war zones throughout his career. When I...