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Im trying to save money to move to another state, too many old ghosts around here.. I think I touched on why I'm reluctant...namely that I do not feel stable and fear that a poor work environment when I am not healthy will simply reverse all progress I have made and leave me in a worse place...

Hello all. So I was diagnosed PTSD a month ago. It came as quite a shock even though I knew something was seriously wrong with me. It's been a difficult month with many anxiety attacks, violent and suicidal ideations, sleepless nights, paranoia, and scary insights into areas of my life that I...

I might be too, my T and fiance keep commentating on my bags and my change of skin color. They say I look grey now. I relate, the city makes me feel suffocated. I hope you get some sun this weekend if you feel comfortable ( and good weather in your area)...I may brave a journey for a hike or...

No problem:) hope you are having a good friday evening and relaxing

Thank you! I will continue doing research, I will hopefully be in Co. Or the northwest before new years. :)

Welcome to the site, you came to the right place...warm welcomes and I hope that you can find some peace...wishing you well :)

Right back at you friend! I know what you mean I had to quit my job as well...I get over stimulated very easily...hopes you will feel the sun shining upon you soo, when you are ready...be blessed :)

Wow, I am so sorry for your pain...that really says alot about the strength you posses in your character...amazing that through all that you have endured you are able to keep your faith and to keep pushing...I applaud you and you have just made me realize how self centered I can be...

Same here...I love the outdoors, if I lived in the country my vitamin D would probably go way up..my nervousness and paranoid thoughts are so bad nowadays I can hardly go into a store even on a good day!

I have been considering moving to a recreational state for a job in the mmj industry. Do you think that enough exsist?

And the beating was severe, it was 3 on 1 and a surprise attack. My family's safety was put into jeopardy. I did not know if I would live or not. I just happened to have a two by four handy. There have been other incidences of this sort as well. That was just one example. Have been jumped by 12...

I think you make a fair point. I guess you nailed it on the head with where I am right now. I spoke to my therapist today and she is trained to make diagnoses as she has a master's degree in clinical social work. She has stood by her diagnoses as ptsd. Now, I am searching for the root of it. So...

I have been very symptomatic last few weeks. I have been re exposed to several of my worst triggers. At points I have been struggling with obsession on death and dying, as well as fantasizing violent revenge on my tormentors. I do not go outside anymore unless I absolutely must. I have been...

Thats what I did. During the season they will commonly accept walk ons with little to no experience...pretty much a no questions asked situation...they just want you there and working hard....I think my job in a greenhouse was the best work I ever had...

You said it. I worked for a season in a commercial size greenhouse. It was hard, sweaty manual labor....but extremely rewarding. Waking up and going to work in a nice warm greenhouse with a kaleidoscope of colorful flowers all around. It was magical for me. Have wanted to work in horticulture...

Lmao

Im glad...sometimes my brain goes into overdrive...

Yeah I feel really stupid after yesterday. I felt so sure that I was misdiagnosed just because I had a decent day. Today I am back to the dark places and I realize how foolish I am to even be in denial of this. My whole family was like " oh that makes alot of sense" as soon as they heard the...

I have been beaten and tased brutually by police several times. Also anyone who has mental illness knows that incarceration is hell for us especially.

To clarify, maybe that was not the best analogy given that many like you are literal soldiers. i am truly sorry i came across as insensitive. I doubt any respectable American would say that our vets are weak, I personally know many vets that could break me in half with one arm...was just...

I didn't mean any disrespect or offense to anyone. I applaud and commend all service members active or veterans my mom is a brat and my grandfather a lifer in the army, uncle did 3 tours in Iraq. If I had not screwed myself by getting a criminal record i would be in the military right now. Thank...

Thank you you've been super helpful...very informative...I'm sure that this will all come together in time...or hopeful at least lol

@joeylittle

From my understanding she is trained and accredited to diagnose..she told me she diagnosed me as PTSD at our last meeting and that she beileved it was clear it was not bi polar as I had been previously diagnosed. Which my fiance agreed to her diagnoses and so did my mom who was actually one of...

She is a LMSW, ACSW