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@grimalkin, you need to do what you need to do for you, I log on here now, apart from this little blip, primarily to talk to people and to feel like I can use my experience to help others. It hasn't been a very positive one for me and in a way it's my way of reclaiming some autonomy from the...

@grimalkin, I guess with me the thing is... before this... our relationship genuinely was just brilliant, absolutely spectacular. We have a spark, we always have, we can talk for hours and hours, we just... worked. There was literally nothing I'd have changed, only since she shut down on me has...

In the context of our relationship and her knowledge of my insecurities, past and own personal problems breaking up with me, not showing any real upset over it and brushing it off like it was like she just decided to cancel a direct debit is what makes it insulting. We didn't date for years...

Probably not, and I guess that is where my conflict is. I feel like I've basically been on the rough end of an emotional kicking for months now, nothing has gone my way, everything has gone against me, now I am expected to just suck it up and walk it off and pretend it never happened and I guess...

With all due respect, I wasn't suggesting she intentionally set out to cause me hurt or to insult me, nor that she was obligated to explain anything to me whether she can or can't. I feel there is a difference between wanting one because somebody I know and have trusted for over 10 years has...

Yeah, I mean I am not expecting perfect closure, but something a little more than what she has given, "stuff happens" is what it essentially boils down to and that is kind of insulting, I'd be perfectly content with "I couldn't deal with all the stress and it impacted our relationship to a point...

@Snowflakes, no we don't have a child, but I do see the point. It's not so much that I would be unwilling forever, more, not any time soon. It's bad enough she has this abusive friend, I have no idea if there is more to it than that, if there is, it'd be too much for me to watch her be with a...

I guess in a sense too I don't know that if what I want and what she want necessarily align, I think we deep down likely DO NOT want to lose one another entirely, but it's about negotiating exactly what "we" are... one big thing for me is, ok, we break up, we say we're done... what happens when...

He's sounds like a narcissist, deflecting the blame back onto you and making himself the victim in all this and making you question your reality. Notice how he does something which numerous people in this thread are saying is wrong yet he's deflected it back at you? Miscommunication is one...

Yes, it is rape. He is trying to justify his behaviour to avoid confronting his coercive and abusive behaviour.

You have to do what you need to do for yourself @AlbusLupa, you should feel no shame in identifying that this simply isn't for you, it feels like you've been asked to live in constant uncertainty and whilst some people can adapt to that there is no rule that you should have to, feeling like you...

@Friday, yes, quite plausibly so, however, for me I think what bothers me is not replying for hours, often just vanishing without explanation is not something I'd expect from a friend either, even without all the relationship baggage, I don't think it takes much effort to just say "I'm going out...

Thank you all for the responses, they mean a lot. Just a small response before bed for now, as something @grimalkin said sparked something in my mind. I think what is causing me so much distress is the differences between what she says and how she behaves. For example, I'm the most important...

Thank you both for the responses, it's been a rough day. I never thought I'd get so messed up by something as simple as being asked why I've been quiet, I just assume she doesn't care, then she shows some interest and it throws me off kilter. @AlbusLupa, it's often very contradictory. Like, I...

To put into context, me and my now ex-girlfriend had a very strained period of our 11-12 year relationship (just under 2 years of a romantic one, though we've been in love the whole time) over the past four months. She experienced something very triggering at the start of her first few days...

Glad to hear the good news it makes me happy to see others work things out and come out more positively even if mine didn't, the more relationships ptsd fails to finish off for me is a positive thing for both supporters and sufferers.

Things with my ex were... strange, she had a bigger sex drive than I did despite the reason for her trauma. I don't know the reason but I found it was the opposite for me.

I feel you there, me and my ex were not married or even living together but I still get am I insane why did I even put up with it for this long, why am I so reasonable with her after everything she has done to me etc. What Snowflakes said about morality and a code of honour really hits it on...

Yeah, there's so many possibilities and she just adds to the confusion by contradicting herself and pushing/pulling, what I'd give for some simplicity! Thanks, I'm doing my best, it's not as intense as it was before but I think that's because we've both withdrawn a little.

Absolutely, I spoke to her a little tonight, but it was the first time in nearly a week, I imposed a break on myself to process how I was feeling and think about what I want to do, I'm in a bit of a stasis if I am telling the truth, whether I actually tell her how I am feeling and how sad I am...

I haven't currently, though I am approaching some at university. I find it very hard because she still wants me around, but absolutely nothing is resolved and she doesn't really share she mostly blurts phrases out then retreats again. We're definitely broken up as things stand I have zero...

I don't think you're being an idiot, in a way you're the only one in this partnership who is basically facing the realities of the situation. You can't just "decide" you can't be bothered being married anymore and that's that, there are legal complications, accommodation issues, property...

Greatly appreciated, the tunnel vision and self-preservationist behaviour of PTSD sufferers, whilst entirely understandable in the context of the condition and their emotional state at the time, just leaves a mass of chaos and victims in it's wake. I don't believe she set out with the intention...

I can take her isolating, I can take her not wanting to talk "feelings" etc, it's the total lack of cogent communication that killed me, still does to be honest as it's very much fresh. Telling me she wasn't "into this", yet was missing a piece, gaping hole in her life etc, its like... so we've...

That resonates a lot with me, my now ex didn't really seem to understand that her behaviour was actually hurting me and seriously kicking off my own issues, it was a little like she thought I wouldn't care and she was doing me a favour, it was quite strange and I agree it was completely down to...