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Sorry--it's not my intention to bum anyone out. Obviously, I know deep down that it's possible that there is a therapist out there somewhere who could be helpful, which is why I keep searching through the bitching and moaning. This is the best idea I've heard in a while. I went in rather...

She was just a terrible therapist all around. The folks here on this site? Yeah, they actually want to help. I find them much more helpful than some of the therapists that I've seen. In fact, leaving the session with this psychiatrist I just saw, I found myself thinking, "I think I could...

Yeah, last time I did this, it wound up being a nightmare, and I'm still kicking myself for not trusting my initial hunch.

Ahh. They're more likely to just prescribe meds than solve problems?

Can someone let me in on the joke here? I would, but I don't really have anywhere else to look at this point. If I did, I wouldn't be seeing a resident psychiatrist in the first place.

I don't know what year. I didn't ask. What kinds of specialties do psychiatrists have? Our conversation sucked--that's probably why I didn't ask too many questions. We just didn't sync at all. She seemed to be phoning it in like, "Here I am at WORK in my quilted Channel flats and my silk...

Sort of... Part of it was just ignorance, though.

Saw a resident psychiatrist for "therapy" today. Sample quote: "When you say 'triggered,' what does that mean?" She is not a therapist anymore than I'm a NASA engineer. I cannot see myself talking about anything substantive with her. The thought is laugh-out-loud ridiculous. Starting to lose...

This makes me think of attachment disorder. If you grew up with abusive/neglectful parents, you likely developed an unconscious attachment to those qualities at a young age--maybe before you can remember. Now the feelings that they caused (worthlessness) are another arm of the attachment...

Don't think much of that field, @Friday, but don't want to hijack thread, so will keep quiet.

Ha ha, this is so true. But sometimes there's nothing wrong with your social skills -- it's just the way you look on paper they don't like and you can't schmooze your way around it. This snobby girl I knew when I was young would make a huge deal out of every little thing I did, like, "Oh my God...

Thanks for those links, @Nadia. I'm surprised this thread isn't getting more replies, because I think this has a lot of relevance for all of us with PTSD. Actually, it makes me think of Somatic Experiencing therapy. Do you see this type of yoga as a form of SE?

I meditate daily, legs-crossed, focus on breathing, simply noticing thoughts. It's not everyone's idea of "yoga" in the putting-your-leg-behind-your-head sense. Anyway, I experience a lot of involuntary shaking and convulsions while I meditate. Actually, I also have these convulsions when not...

I'm speaking my truth. You wouldn't be the first person to call me pessimistic, if that's any comfort.

What I've found is that there's a lot of unspoken rules in social groups. Like you have to know it, but you can't talk about it. When I look back at the times I was ruthlessly trounced out of a tribe, it was usually due to one of these open secrets that I should have known, but didn't (due to...

I know I'm arriving late here, but could anyone tell me what these "brain zaps" are and what drugs cause them?

The worst part about not belonging anywhere for me is the why of it all. With all this time locked out and isolated, you get to really meditate on why the humans you see around you get on with their peers. And I'll tell you, it's some superficial shit. It's gotten to the point where if you...

Wow, almost everything in this post resonates with me. And it isn't just that I feel I have nothing to offer them, but also vice versa. I feel that 99.9% of them have nothing to offer me, and the infinitesimal number of exceptions wouldn't have me anyway. So it's eat tripe or go hungry, and...

Not off track at all. I certainly don't mean to trivialize your issues, but I have to say, it seems to me a lot of men would love to meet a woman who doesn't want kids. A lot of women have to drag their husbands kicking and screaming into having a baby.

I guess I meant you could just add one into your post in text. Please don't apologize. You've added a ton to the discussion, and even with the potentially triggering material, I would rather have your posts here than not. :hug:

@lostforgottensoul, I am in awe of your strength and courage in posting the details of your abuse. However, I think details such as those on the regular discussion forum (as opposed to a trauma diary) may be a bit too graphic (or at least should have a trigger warning). Your opinion is valued...

I know it's normal for people with PTSD to feel as if past traumas are still fresh, or when triggered, even occuring in real time. But what about those things that literally are happening in the present? My parents gave me more than a bad childhood. They saddled me with horrible things that I...

For me it's usually a sense of being watched contemptuously. So I try to locate the sense of being watched in my physical body. This has to be rooted somewhere -- where is it? Sometimes I can actually feel some pressure in my upper back, and I say, there it is. I can start to feel calmer and...

Well, yeah, it will go on my profile. If that's what you mean by "publish."

That's a reasonable assumption, but it's not what they said. They said they need it for "verification purposes."