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I don't believe for one minute you're a horrible family. Every family has it's issues so try to take some comfort from that. I can relate to a lot of what you say, both as a child (adopted child) whose parents were very domineering, and as a dad and step dad who sometimes gets it wrong and...

You implied he'd been given a custodial sentence for the offence. From memory I think this means he'll be on the sex offenders register for 5 years minimum. It could be longer depending on the offence and length of sentence. That means he'll be under supervison by a police officer / probation...

You should notify the police. There is a proper process and mechanism to ensure sex offenders do not work with children. Informing the local media would be totally irresponsible. Any victim living in the area could also suffer from yet more media coverage, and it might encourage vigilantes to...

An insightful post thanks @Bloomy I've been reading The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier. It's about adoption. There's a lot about abandonment in it, and its long term Impact. The book has opened my eyes, there is so much that I can relate to and traits I have that can apparently be traced to...

As a child I had terrible problems with the skin on my scalp. My parents used to rub in some type of oil and I had to use a special shampoo. I used to pick and scratch and make myself bleed. It was always at its worse at times of stress, especially just before going into hospital and whilst I...

Yes you do @Lionheart777 and I'm grateful for the thread. Had I adopted these rights a few years ago it might of help me retain the self belief that I was an intrinsically good person with normal human failings. Thank you for sharing this.

That is not my experience, not at all. I remain unforgiven by the majority of my former friends. Regardless of the fact that I truly believe they were wrong to judge me and withdraw their friendship, I still very much wish they could and would forgive me for what they believe I did wrong...

I had lots of surgery on my genitals throughout my childhood and adolescence. A lot of it would fall into the 'normal' childhood experiences and fears of hospitalisations and surgery. Some of it became more problematic because the surgery was repeated so often I knew in advance about the most...

Thanks for this. It has added to my own slowly evolving understanding.

Yes it does. I hope your therapist can help you with this, and well done for finding the courage to talk about it, to your therapist, and here. You've been very brave. I get that too. I think for me it provides familiar emotions, and feelings that I had when I was a teenager which were both...

That's very insightful of you. Thank you. It has been a scary subject to research and open up about. Certainly had sweaty palms posting about it. No, not locally. I did pay to see a therapist who specialised in sexual issues, but I couldn't afford to keep seeing her and it was a 5 hour...

During a discussion on another thread somebody helpfully suggested I research re-enactment in order to try and better understand my own compulsive re-enactment behaviours. I call my behaviours 'acting out', but having read a bit about re-enactment, this seems to accurately describe what I do...

Thanks - I'll do that. I'm sure you're right, I don't really think I was trying to harm my friend, but I was using him and he could have been harmed, unintentionally. The uncomfortable truth is even at that age it seems I wanted to harm myself, physically and psychologically and...

What gnaws away at me is that although the source of my behaviour was obvious, the actual purpose, the; what was I trying to do or achieve and why? It really bothers me I don't understand it.

I had a close friend who lived across the road. We played a lot together, went up the woods and rode our bikes, very normal boy stuff. I'm guessing, I was about 7 or 8, my friend a year younger. For a while we played a doctors game, in his bedroom. I was the patient, he the doctor, always...

Mine are 15 and 16, both boys. Into: Utube videos, anime, Xbox, and ps4 games, mostly war type, younger one likes driving games too. Surfing (16 year old), girl friend (16 year old), stunt scootering, bmx, tombstoning (we live by the sea) and crazy risky stunts, rock climbing (15 year old)...

A real mixture: Therapist (CBT generalist) through my local GP surgery, NHS funded, 6 months in total, initially weekly, then fortnightly and finally only via email. She was just trying to keep me safe whilst social services ripped our family and lives to pieces, so no treatment as such on any...

You're not minimizing it @Lucycat, not at all. There were other boys having similar surgeries for the same condition, who knows how they reacted. I know kids can cope with a huge amount of distress, with the right care and support, so the behaviours of carers is yet another factor in this type...

I too have struggled with this question, apologies if this response is too personal. I had repeated surgeries throughout my childhood which have shaped me and led to my current difficulties. Any time in hospital for a child, away from carers must be upsetting, but clearly it can't be abuse...

I was given up for adoption, so this may not be much help. I have no idea what happened to cause my mother to come to such a decision. But I truly hope she did it for the right reasons. Despite eventually being adopted by caring parents, being given up has had a profound effect on me...

When I tried to end my life it was an intensely private, personal time. I didn't want anyone else to be with me, or to be part of it. The thought of sharing that time, the total loss of all hope and self worth, let alone pre planning it just seems impossible and totally bizarre. Attempting...

Huge respect to you @Lucycat Your own circumstances puts mine into perspective. :hug:

It seems to me you have made the very best from what could have been a totally isolating start in life. You should feel proud that through difficult experiences you forged genuine, meaningful snd rewarding relationships. It's no mean feat.

You never lost credibility so far as I'm am concerned. It's a level playing field here (I hope) so credibility isn't an issue. In the same way that I am only an 'expert' about my own experiences (....doesn't mean I understand my reactions to them) you are an expert about yours. I'll be happy...

Five years ago (nearly) my problems triggered a sequence of events that in the words of my GP 'wreck your life'. Because of those events, my closest friends, unfairly but understandably turned their backs on me and my partner. Ever since, I've been longing for their forgiveness. My longing...