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I was expressing my opinion, so I'm not sure an apology is warranted, but it's very much appreciated all the same, thank you both. We all make mistakes (I tend to make big, life damaging ones). Anyway, thanks for listening.

Personally I am dismayed to read where this thread has ended up. I can't complain because I'm not the OP, but it just so happens that the thread heading is about a medical condition that has wrecked my life, and it feels a tad disrespectful. I wonder how somebody who is looking for...

Hi @Nikie I'm so sorry you were triggered by my post. I really do understand, please don't apologise. I am always very wary about describing these events for fear of causing upset. Thank you your comments about the nurse. I have to agree with you. But it's only fair to say that there were...

Hey @Nikie Please don't apologise for asking. I have written about this elsewhere, I'll try to find it and post you a link. It's a very difficult thing to talk about and although directly related to my having hypospadias, it's probably a bit off topic for this thread. What I can say is that...

Thanks @Lucycat Having your perspective, both as a member of the opposite sex, and from a professional perspective is invaluable. I am so embroiled in my experiences through a child's and man's eyes, personally I would find it really helpful to hear more from another view point and your...

I was born with it. It is mildly genetic. My eldest son was born with it too, with a very similar degree of severity as me, but my youngest son wasn't. It has also been linked to some substances, but nothing proven for certain. My son's treatment was very different to mine. He had his first...

Welcome to the forum. I'm sure you'll get lots of support from the amazing folk here. Childhood medical trauma. Sadly Yes. I was born with severe hypospadias. I started reconstructive surgery age 3, stopped when I was 16, (about 30 operations because the surgery kept failing). The procedures...

Thanks @barefoot I really appreciate your kindness.

I saw my therapist for the last time yesterday. I admit I felt quite emotional, sad and a bit frightened. She's been a fantastic person to talk to, generous of spirit, kind, non-judgemental (to be expected I know but some of what we discussed was pretty uncomfortable for both of us) insightful...

I am so sorry you experienced this degree of degradation. There should have been an even greater emphasis on minimising distress, because you were a child, sadly the opposite was the case. This was the routine for me too, and occurred during most hospital visits, pre and post surgery. It was...

Hi @stillstanding2 I've just been reading your posts on this thread and I wanted to say how sorry I am that you suffered (unnecessarily) due to your medical conditions. @Anarchy prompted me to read this thread and I'm glad he did. I can absolutely relate to the traumatic experiences you have...

The mindfulness course I attended made me realise just how much time I spent thinking, ruminating, turning things over and over in my mind. I would imagine what I would say to my tormentors, rehearse long conversations out loud, shout and scream at them. All this ever did was make me feel more...

I attended a 12 week mindfulness course. I found it hard work, attempting to keep my mind clear, instead of constantly ruminating, especially about upsetting past events. But in the moments I was able to achieve a clear mind, it definitely calmed me. During the sessions we were not told we...

Hi @Zhantera It's great you are here. You find lots of amazingly supportive folk on the forum. Welcome and best wishes. Mit

I suffer from levator ani syndrome and its variant proctalgia fugax. It's suggested the spasm can be brought by stress, and I definitely get it more often when I am anxious. The only thing that seems to help is a warm bath. The pain is excruciating, for me anyway. If it happens when I'm out...

Thanks for this. A consultant once described what I do as self soothing, but he also said I needed to find a better way to self sooth and after 40 years it's now an ingrained and habitual response. I've tried to replace it with mindfulness activities at times of stress, with very limited...

Perhaps another perspective on self soothing vs inner soothing..... I self sooth by doing something that is, in effect harmful, it's embarrassing to describe, but I could liken it to self harm (which is an attempt to self sooth so I understand). So perhaps 'inner soothing' is always...

There' is a book, The Primal Wound, by Nancy Verrier that apparently argues separation at birth is traumatic, regardless of how early and well adoption is handled. It was written in 1993 so might not reflect current research. I haven't read it but I think I will. I think the author is a...

@Scrapkat It's lovely to hear from you. I can relate to so much of your description of PTSD. I've discovered amazing support and kindness here and I know you will to. Best wishes Mit

It's quite a disturbing thought, I'm beginning to wish I used some of my therapy time to explore this. I know this thread is about attachment issues, not particularly adoption, but I wondered if anyone has read The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier. I'm thinking about buying it, perhaps it would...

Thanks, and please don't worry. Sometimes I think we are all walking on egg shells and we all need a bit of extra TLC from time to time, I certainly do. No my adoptive parents don't know I'm searching. After all this time I would feel I was letting them down, and I feel guilty, so I can't...

I'm sorry my post caused a reaction, last thing I would have wanted. @lostforgottensoul and @Chava - I very much appreciate that you both made the effort to reply and offer insightful thoughts and guidance. I think you'll find very many adoptees already do think this way, I do and always...

I'm only just starting to explore this stuff. From what little I have read so far, about attachment disorders arsing from adoption (I was adopted when I was five and in hospitals and care prior to that) there are some traits, behaviours and ways of thinking described that are so spookily like...

My therapy sessions are coming to an end in the new year, just two more to go. I would like them to continue, but I've already had more than the allotted number, under our wonderful NHS. The therapist has been great, I like her a great deal. I'm trying to be pragmatic about, it couldn't go...

Welcome Mike. Have you been in touch with your doctor recently? If not it might be a place to start, somebody to talk to. I was dismissed from my job a few years ago, self esteem very low and i assumed, like you they would all be talking about my fall from grace. I don't know if they did or...