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I had one nightmare last night..woke up sweaty, tense, shaky. I felt dirty. I always feel so dirty after certain nightmares..so I took a shower, but still, I felt disgusting and ashamed. Immediately had to go to work and spent the first several hours trying to get my shit together. I felt very...

knocking/banging on the door and gunshots trigger me..

Your situation is very similar to mine when I was your age. My heart bleeds for you..and I commend your strength to seek help at such a young age. I just ran from all my pain and I wasted many years as a result. You should be proud of yourself for having the courage to face your demons and heal...

I struggle a lot with paranoia as well, due to sexual and other forms of abuse. Paranoia makes it impossible to trust, and I always feel on the defensive. But my therapist has really been working with me to learn to recognize these paranoid thoughts before they create problems in my...

This is an interesting thread. I have found that PTSD affects my speech in a few different ways. Sometimes I find myself saying words out of order, or suddenly losing track of a thought that I was about to express, often mid sentence. The thought completely disappears from my mind, as if it was...

I struggle with this a lot too. My jaw will be sore from clenching..my shoulders, neck and back are always tense. Sometimes I'll have nightmares and I'll wake up to my body being completely rigid, as if I were paralyzed. Have to remind myself that I can move. Gets much worse when I'm anxious or...

My heart breaks for you..I was also failed by the criminal justice system when I watched my rapist walk free. I remember that defeat.. and the way he smiled as he walked out the courtroom. There is very rarely any true justice for the victims of this horrendous crime. My experience with the...

Definitely...I overdosed on heroine and xanax. My drug addictions had gotten out of control because I was using to manage my symptoms. To maintain something that resembled sanity.. ..I ate a months worth of Xanax in a day and then injected myself with double the amount of dope that I normally...

Your post really hit home, @nothere because I too went through something similar with a doctor when I was a little girl. I feel your pain all too well.. I wish I could answer all your questions, but I don't think answers are what you are looking for anyway. I guess I just want you to know that...

Embracing positive, creative energy has always been a must for me. My mind is always a peace when I'm creating. I love playing the piano and writing. I even like doing crafts and DIY projects. I cook for a living and part of what attracts me to the profession is the creativity and artistry...

I struggle with this as well. I have great days where I feel strong, vibrant, and alive..but then others where I feel weak, numb, and dead. It's a constant war within the mind. But as the healing process continues, you'll see more of the good days and less of those dark places within the mind...

Exactly..I go through this a lot too with my family and it is so frustrating and hurtful..

I've always been an old soul in a sense...I've lived a long life in a real short amount of time and I'm tired...but in some ways I feel younger than I am..about five years younger or so. It's strange.

I was diagnosed before my love and I started dating. My issues eventually took their toll of our relationship and I sought treatment. He has been so patient and understanding with me over the years and I don't know how he's done it..

-knocking on the door..always have to ring the doorbell* -rape scenes/graphic violence in movies* -references to sodomy -blood -metal pipes -dollhouses All of these cause panic attacks but the * ones will almost always trigger flashbacks for me..I also get extremely uncomfortable in bars...

I drink a lot of caffeine on a daily basis..especially since I quit smoking. Traded in cigarettes for coffee..about 5-7 cups a day. Very little soda or energy drinks. Love my coffee, though.

I had done fairly well with my PTSD for about three years..I was stable and I was maintaining for the most part. And then I came back into contact with my biological father. Aside from changing my life forever..his presence opened the flood gates for my PTSD..and it came back with a vengeance...

Absolutely! My physical and mental state have deteriorated drastically since I developed PTSD. Around the time of my PTSD diagnosis, I also developed fibromyalgia and autoimmune arthritis, as well as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and severe insomnia. My mental health has definitely not been the same...

I experienced the same kind of "drop" when I was on 50mg..the doctor upped to 75 and I have been fine ever since. When I first started the higher dose, I had some brain zaps/flashes but once my body adjusted to the new dose, those went away. If you continue to have issues, though, I would...

Dissociation has really been a problem for me lately. A bigger part of my day to day living in recent months has made it hard for me to feel connected and engaged. I'm knocking on the door..but no ones there. Body Memories: So vivid..I can feel their touch..the texture and pressure of their...

Exactly...this has been so overwhelming emotionally, but very healthy for me in a sense because I've been forced to really face these difficult feelings and now I finally have the opprotunity to get the answers that I've so desperately needed. I want to be able to address this situation with the...

(This is going to be really long..my apologies.) I've never met my father before. For my entire life I never had any contact with him until this past October when his stepdaughter found me on facebook and we reconnected. It was amazing and I rode the high for a little while, but when I crashed...

It seems as though you're severely disconnected with your emotions in general and, as a result, are overwhelmed by them. Constantly searching for a way to cope..to numb what doesn't make sense. A vicious cycle that I know all too well. Learning to access emotions through positive means and not...

I know exactly how you feel, @Chava!! One of the scariest part of recovery for me is learning how to live a life that isn't chaotic and miserable. I seek the adrenaline rush now..Normality just seems so strange and foreign. I sometimes question whether inner peace and true happiness are even...

This is the one that really gets under my skin..like caregivers are doing some extraordinary deed by providing necessities for children who are unable to provide for themselves. That's kinda the point of becoming a parent..I've always thought that to be a lame ass bullshit cop-out by caregivers...