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I have dreadful nightmares I also have a pacemaker ( created its own trauma as I was awake throughout surgery) it might sound silly but I have a tv on standby in the bedroom so in any nightmare I look for the little red light. It's enough for my brain to accept I'm at home, in bed and safe. It...

Hi no names necessary, we unite through experience. I hope you find some answers here. Just like the rest of us treading through treacle trying to break ground.

Yes wouldn't I be presenting issues throughout my life, issues with troubled relationships etc.

Sidptitala. Yes exactly that's exactly how I feel. This is the therapy we have, you must fit the criteria as we have no other option. Thankyou for your insight. I too felt it's like this bad girl label that I have been fighting against my whole life. As a child I didn’t fit because of what I...

Thankyou. I will look into that in the new year. It's good to have somewhere to discuss the frustrations

You see the system clearly Midnight Moon. If I could afford it I would pay for a psychiatrist and a proper evaluation but funds don't allow so I'm on the wheel. Maybe I'm asking too much for wanting answers of a system that is just a tricky box exercise. Even my GP is frustrated with the system.

Thanks for your insight Midnight Moon. I don't drink much, don't touch drugs, been married and settled for 23 years, don't self harm and I'm pretty balanced most of the time. I know I have adhd and I have the classic Cptsd. There was nothing other than childhood neglect and abuse that could...

I had post natal depression after my second child but otherwise I haven't really had issues until regular contact with my granddaughter clicked something and I started having horrific flashbacks of my own childhood of neglect and abuse so my early fifties.

I'm not young I was 60 this year but yes I'm "difficult"

Thankyou Outside Humanity, I think that rash jump to BPD angered me. I'm not impulsive or self harming, I'm quite logical, high functioning and not in any way fit the profile and felt totally unheard amd unseen again. The trouble with it comes the only therapy they will offer which may not be...

So many people have so called normal lives and find it hard to imagine anything different. We are crashing their dreams of a pretty world with the reality and the horror. If people ask why I'm in therapy I tell them otherwise I just say I had one of those childhoods that makes front page and...

When I have paid for therapy it's been trust that was utmost for me. Secondly being able to connect. I've had Hypnotherapy, inner child work and crisis help that were outside of the normal therapy system but really helped. I'm in the UK so mental health is a postcode lottery and getting help...

Welcome I hope you find solace here

I have chronic nightmares and like you get to hate bedtime but I also hate the zoned out feeling of the heavy meds for Cptsd. I take amitriptyline for Stomach issues but only 20mg. It's just enough to help me relax without that zoney feeling but I can wake up enough to ground myself if I have a...

I went to my GP to get funding for a psychiatrist through the Saturday fund but she said I had exhaust the NHS system first hence the triage. My counsellor is stuck by ethics as she's part of the same system but she has made a note of it on my records. I find the whole NHS system so frustrating...

Thankyou guys for getting back to me. My mood doesn't swing from minute to minute, I'm certainly not a risk taker and I'm rarely angry. I have terrifying flashbacks and very low self esteem and boundaries. My brain is like that too, I know what I want to say but it doesn't come out that way...

If I could I would Give up my hyperindependance and ask for help Trust my own judgement Forgive myself for trusting and loving the wrong people Be unashamedly Me.

It's my go to book. I've just ordered a real version as its on my kindle.

I have Cptsd, and ADHD, BPD has just been chucked into the mix but I don't feel that fits. I have issues with food I can take it or leave it, I am currently under a gut clinic but I'm sure it's linked to being withheld food as a child.

400 victims the youngest being 13 I believe. It will be harrowing to hear. I wish all victims a quick and clean end to this.

Welcome. I don't take any meds either as I hate the zoned out feeling and I too need to be in control of my own autonomy. I resonate with the feeling that nothing is mine as anything I liked would be used as a punishment. I loved words as a kid so I wrote on every scrap of paper I could as...

In my opinion talking therapies are so overrated. Continously rehashing the trauma just reinforces it. I have a hypnosis app that's a great tool and books like the body keep the score or pete walkers from survive to thrive are so full of knowledge. I've been a guinea pig for counsellors when...

I recently had an assessment from the NHS mental health team who after a 25 minute call decided I have BPD and have put me on the waiting list for DBT group therapy. So I've done some homework and feel that very little in my symptoms that line up with BPD and it can often be over diagnosed in...

Just my few pennies worth but she sounds like she has narcissistic tendencies and wanted to pick you up and put you down and was shocked that you had wishes of your own. After a relationship with a narcissist it's natural to feel confused and disorientated as the reality of the relationship...

I've always thought my brain worked differently and after a consultation with my mental health nurse it would seem at the age of 60 I have adhd but to get a diagnosis will take years. Oddly knowing has been enough for me I've got a book off amazon adhd in adult women so I can cross reference and...