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Thank you, that is all incredibly helpful. I am starting to realize that codependence is what causes my mental health problems to begin with, so addressing that is simply part of my recovery. And that allowing it to continue will quite literally prevent me from recovering. I love my husband to...

Would you have any advice on how to get that across lovingly? My attempts as I have been addressing my depression and anxiety have led to him hiding things from me instead under the misunderstanding that I can't handle anything and he's a burden to me.

We have been married for six years and have two very young children. Unfortunately the question of sticking it out was a big fat no on his end, at least at the moment. He has a lot of conflict and stress in his head right now. Whether that changes in the future or not, I'm not willing to cut him...

Thank you everyone. I have found the sufferer perspective extremely helpful because he can't, or won't try to help me understand what he's going through. I think that getting myself help has been the best advice throughout our struggle. It certainly is! I have enabled him plenty over the...

How do you deal with it when something you say or do angers your sufferer? I have never done anything to hurt mine, have put up with more than I should to try and help him and yet my motivations are questioned and even assumed to be vindictive whenever he doesn't agree with what I do, or it...

He has often said that there is no time when he isn't angry. I have never been afraid he would hurt us. He has twice hit inanimate objects during arguments, but he still was in control, and the children were not around. He has always had the ability and desire to remove himself from the...

That makes a lot of sense. We have only just gotten to the point that we consistently keep the adult discussions to times the kids aren't around. It's hard enough right now to get a hold of him, let alone get him in the right head space to make a conversation doable, but the kids' time is the...

My husband is a combat PTSD sufferer. He left me about two months ago. He comes every so often to visit our two young children. Today during naptime we had some time to talk. After a few difficult subjects, he had to leave. He says that his therapist has told him when he feels himself get too...

I can't tell you how helpful that is. I have a tendency to ignore my own feelings anyway, in deference to everyone else's. It's become apparent to me though that I have to deal with them because the ones I want to get past will just resurface, along with a sense of guilt for having them, if I...

Thank you for saying so. I have been all too willing to excuse it because he was searching for an emotional connection that the PTSD had stolen from him. The truth is he should have been trying to figure out how to feel that with me again, or at the very least tell me that he didn't so that we...

Thanks, this is similar to how my husband reacts and I've been struggling with a desire to understand versus need to protect him from it. I have started to realize that its ok not to understand, and in reality, I can't. The hard party is that he choose to open up to another woman. He says...

I greatly appreciate your welcome and your take on my situation. I Intend to say just that. I Just wanted to clarify, I was not blackmailing him, but telling him the consequences for what he was doing. He was getting to a point of not being able to control his anger and lashing out. I needed to...

I have this same problem with my husband, though thankfully not to the same degree. What I do odd simply not answer in straight yes or no style. It still frustrated him, but it shuts down his ability to call me a liar or to tangent. For your example, you could say, "I slept with him during the...

So, here is my basic situation. I have been dealing with my husband's PTSD for two years by basically ignoring it. I would work around it to be functional, but he was very good at hiding and lying about his symptoms. It turns out he had a plan to commit suicide. He confided this to a female...

Perhaps she is just I'm a place where a relationship is one more expectation she can't live up to. The question here is can you continue to be there for her without getting anything back right now? There is no fault for you if you can't.

Thanks Eleanor.

I am the wife of a USMC combat veteran. I have spent the last two plus years allowing my husband to deal with his PTSD how he is comfortable, ie, not dealing with it. Now that we both recognize that he needs professional help, he has started to pursue therapy through the VA and is seeing a...