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Feeling empty and alone as per norm of late, the shitty part is I'm getting used to it

Cool and grey in north Vancouver Island, hopefully it'll rain here and bring some of the smoke from the fires out of the air, it's been smokey and hot and disgusting latley, even though it's gonna start raining for the 6 or 7 months anytime now, it'd be a nice change,

Unfortunately I found going on disability almost as trumatic as psycological abuse, please make sure you get help in doing so, I was in a situation where I was put out on stress leave, had a total breakdown from exposure to incidents, dredging up past traumas I thought I had put behind me, It...

Something I've realized lately is the fact that I tend to get involed in unhealthy relationships as a method of combating loneliness, all kinds of relationships, sexual, platonic, whatever, I hate being alone, but since my last breakdown and finally basically being forced to get help, and trying...

Tell me about it! We've finally cooled down where I am but only because of the smoke from all the forest fires has blocked out the sun

Neither, luke warm thank you very much :) Going out or staying home?

Great thread! The bloke that started weed whaking the parking lot at 7am sending stones and crap flying everywhere, Group facilitators that don't know the topic they're working and read off of google print outs, Workers that have no lived experience that pretend they understand what you're...

I actually feel not to bad, spent the morning with a good friend and am keeping the positive by going to my "sisters" place while her and her husband and kid are away to see the cat, i'm usually on the same plane but today i'm ok :) i hope everyone can find some peace somehow

I suppose what I'm trying to say here is what i've personally found is we have to start trusting ourselves agian foremost in our recovery from trauma to be able to move forward, even if it's just a little bit. It has made a huge difference I've found I think this applies hugely to this topic as...

Unfortunately i remember most of my childhood but in the last few years things that were really fuked have been coming back, i've been in trauma recovey for a while now and processing things and i think during thoes periods i feel like that too

Being in a personal time of processing, reflection, therapy and treatment I'm starting to feel that most of my anxiety is derived from a lack of self trust/self doubt unsure to trust my intuition, which oddly I relied on heavily to survive and was pretty spot on, being a lifelong sufferer of...

I think this is quite a shared feeling due to the stigma attached to issuses surrounding mental health, it kept me and quite a few people I know well from accessing help or treatment for years, and having gotten to point of non functionality and having no choice really but seeking help have met...

Hi, sorry you're having such a time, I'm in the same boat, it's almost like you're in my head, The only thing that I've personally found that helps me more than anything is deeply connecting with nature in quiet secluded areas where I know I'm safe and have no worries of having to connect with...

You all are lucky. Funny, I am a trained musician and I have trouble listening to almost any kind of music now, triggers suck.

Hey thanks i'll check it out

So how's that working out for anyone eles? Better than me I'd hope, at least when I'm self medicating I sleep and am functional, I finally agreed to go on meds after years of refusing them and my T doesn't want to prescribe me anything as I've started EMDR and want to see how I respond to...

Thanks for the words, you sound like my "T" haha I understand c/d and know to some degree im incredibly guilty of it, however at the same time there are some angles to it that are somewhat truthful and the the stuff that isn't I don't know how long it would take to get that out or even survive...

Well no rest for the wicked tonight, no matter how many of those sheep's I count, I hate sobriety, I hate life, unfortunately it's been trained into me not to be like that and give up,.a twisted masochist theroy I reckon, no matter what happens or how weird it gets, you are not allowed to die...

I think the only thing I'm more tired of than life itself is constantly trying to convince my T's that if I was going to top myself it would have happened long ago, and just because I admit praying often that I just don't wake up anymore doesn't mean I'm suicidal, I'm just really tired of the...

Yah I'm with you on the let sleeping dogs lay, I'm worried about unlocking memories, I mean I've spent my whole life trying to forget all the horrible things I saw happen to me and other kids that were in it with me, but I also have become almost completely dis functional again finding it hard...

Hey thanks mums, I'm three sessions into emdr, the person I'm working with is great and also has a background of trauma, which i think is huge and really makes a difference, and they aren't hell bent on having me re live every gruesome detail of my existence, but acknowledging where I came from...

Ok, so somehow i managed to survive 47 years, how or why I'm still breathing is far beyond me, my earliest memories are of abuse that ended when I figured out at twelve that I was safer on the street, drugs, alcohol, violence, at least it was my choice, I'm now finally sober, after running the...