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@Kris10, I think you have at least a couple of things going on here that you need to address. Can you support and cope with the PTSD symptoms and how your BF is coping with them? And the second, and maybe the thing that is tipping the scales for you now, what is going on with the female...

@Snowflakes it is so hard! And not just in romantic relationships. But emotions tend to fly higher in those, for sure. In my previous marriage, we were married 16 years and together for 18, there was no PTSD involved (although plenty of other issues) and we couldn't get it right. It takes A...

:hug:

My ex (no PTSD) would get defensive and feel attacked no matter how I phrased things. I tried every way imaginable to no avail until I finally gave up and didn't say a word, or lash out in anger. Neither very effective! It's true we aren't responsible and it's not our fault if they feel...

Yes @TheMinsterman, that is yet another aspect for me as well.

That is one of the things that is bothering me now. The shame and embarrassment possibly felt by the sufferers that keep them away further. I just want to say, "it's ok! I'm here!" But cant.

LOL! :dead:

I am verythromycin happy to read this @Deadman. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. It's pretty inspirational. I'm glad you're doing well. Dang autocorrect can really ruin a message! *very

Tears from me as well. And many hugs! All I can think now, from a supporters point of view, is I hope you're ok. <3

@BlueOrange I was thinking the same thing as I scrolled down and then saw your message. Lol...sorry, just had to say this bit. Other than that @Jane1234 I can say this can be common with PTSD sufferers, but as already stated, does not mean that you shouldn't set some boundaries. The most...

Linzee, only you can decide what's right for you and what you are able to deal with. And what you are able to deal with now may not be something you're willing to accept later. At the moment, you are ready to be in this relationship and as relationships go, it will either play itself out or turn...

:hug:

It's very nice to have both of you here and together. :)

@BlueOrange what would you do to push her away? Would you disappear and not contact her at all? Would you tell her you needed space? I'm very curious! :)

Ah...that's the one! Thank you!

@anthony, I was reading your article, Understanding PTSD, and I closed my browser window by accident. I do have the PDF, but the online version spoke about how supporters can be assertive without being aggressive or passive aggressive. I really liked that and wanted to revisit that, but now I...

I'm so sorry! :cry::hug:

I have to agree with @Casey_03 I'm afraid. Should he have texted you to say he's ok? Yes, he should have. But he was out with friends and it doesn't seem like a good time to be pushing things. The conversation escalated quickly, and I know it's very hard to do (trust me, I know!), but that is...

Thank you, @Ronin!

What a lovely post. I just saw this. Interestingly, my dad was a career firefighter and paramedic and his birthday is January 21. Always a sad day for me! Hugs!

oh yes, can't forget about those abandonment issues. I can definitely relate to that! Yes, it is getting to the point that removing yourself from the situation could feel like then it will all be over and he will leave or maybe even you will leave. And that may very well happen. It's scary. But...

It is very problematic and very difficult to do as well! Not easy stuff. Just being aware of it is an important step. We do have to be careful not to push ourselves aside, which I think for many of us is easy to do because we want to support and care and please. But we also need to be able to...

I like the explanation of how our egos can get in the way too. I think that's very true.

@Mytime your email strategy sounds like a great one! I think it might feel like less of an attack in that way rather than going in verbally with a problem and they feel attacked because often, to them, it may be coming out of the blue. And/or also to give them time to process as you say.

Yes, reach out. He already reached out to you, so it can't hurt.