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Good point, sighs. We can't neglect that baby!

I'm pretty terrible at setting boundaries, but I'll take a stab at this since it's much easier for me to tell other people how to set them!;) Setting boundaries without friction or conflict does not seem possible, but I guess one thing I can see you so that may cause the least amount of...

I have no problem giving you support here. I was struck by how well you handled the situation as I read through this post. I mean, you handled it beyond what I think I could have done. You telling him he needs to show you his apology over time was perfect. Like something I want to do when I...

Happy to know he is helping you out.

I agree with @Freida, he verbalized really well. Wish my guy would do that! But like my guy, he can't or won't talk about his emotions. So hard! Will he come back?? That's so hard to say because if you look around this forum you will see lots who don't, some who do and are maybe just friends...

Yep, you need some care for you. I hope you get sleep soon. I am glad your son is out of the hospital, though. That's a load off at least.

I wouldn't mind some of those pancakes @Sighs!

Eve, from everything I have read from you about this guy he sounds like a dream. And i know you know that and really like, if not love, him. Do what you can to not push him away. You have your fears for sure, just pull down deep and do what you can. I'm rooting for you!

It's always hard to tell the exact situation and feelings involved when not directly witnessing, and even then we all come away with our own version of the scenario. But based on what you wrote, my impression is that he is not pushing you away, but actually thinking it best that you go and get...

I like that. A safe word. That sounds like a good idea. Thanks!

@EveHarrington what boundaries has your supporter set and enforced?

I did also want to add something to what NaeNae said about sharing on this forum. I can't tell you how often I get anxious and paranoid that my guy will come on here and see my posts and know it's me. Even if it is anonymous! I feel like he would hit the roof and never speak to me again. And...

Ladyboss I'm so sorry! One thing I do want to say is this - he may not know how PTSD affects him and couldn't tell you how it might show up in a relationship. And if he had only just started therapy a few months before all of this, it makes sense that he would start getting in a dark place...

p.s. NaeNae, watching Brene Brown now :):headphone:

ladyboss this situation really sucks. I know it is so hard for you to go through. Having said that, I think he has done you a favor. If his moods were already scaring you, and then he verbally abused you and threatened you with physical violence, I don't see that things would have turned out...

NaeNae I wish I could give you a big hug for what you just wrote! Thank you. I definitely want to do the hard work, but the question is with him. Is he willing? And for him the work entails a lot more struggle than it does with me. Dealing with harder stuff. So we shall see is all I can say...

What a lovely story, Junebug.

NaeNae I was so confused!! :confused: I'm so sorry you had a rough night but feel glad you were able to get grounded here and with your own tools. That's great to know. I hope you feel better soon.

Hi ladyboss (love that name!), no he has not contacted me but I do expect to hear from him at some point. I guess I will see how I respond when the time comes but he and I do need to figure this out or let it go. He struggles so much with a great many things so i don't know when he will be able...

@Willowtree I'm not answering for Friday but answering from my experience. You figure it out over time. I figured it out by coming to this thread that I am so thankful you started, but also because I have had a year and a half of what I will currently call episodes of avoidance. And also from...

Man, @Friday, that is a great explanation! Thanks for that.

It's funny, I first came to this forum due to a shut out and all this time that is what I have been calling these episodes. But now I am seeing from this thread that it's avoidance. Maybe just semantics, but i don't think so. Not in my situation. I guess "shut outs" are the behavior or action...

Hi Yo Betty, You have a very tough situation on your hands, and I can't offer anything to help with your N, but I wonder what you do for yourself? Do you take time for yourself? Get away for a day? Get a massage or a mani/pedi? Take an evening for yourself to relax instead of cooking and...

I'm enjoying it too! Finding it all very helpful and I appreciate your "insiders perspective."

@EveHarrington that is great that you two worked that glitch out. I'll be wishing for the absolute best on your visit with him. I did find this interesting - This is one thing I have been wondering about. Is he isolating or is he angry and you say you isolate out of anger, so now I have...