Search results

"Fix it now" is so often muddled up with "why didn't you fix it already?!?" :banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead: Of course, ADD makes me poorly oriented in time so I often muddle past, present and future....:wacky::facepalm::eek::confused:

There has been a lot of work started on this in recent years... http://www.nature.com/news/gut-brain-link-grabs-neuroscientists-1.16316. I heard a thing on NPR a week or two ago about a group in OH here it is...

When people give you clothes: "Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness, these are lovely clothes. I want you to know tho, that I am very hard to fit and I value comfort more than appearance, so I like my clothes just fine. May I pass these along to the goodwill (or whatever) so they will go to...

Waddaya mean "When you can't fix it?" Them's fightin' words.:mad::blackeye: :D (guilty as charged.)

I don't have time to respond fully right now... but very quickly: It is easy to be honest - just make sure whatever comes out of your mouth is truthful. The tricky bit is in figuring out which truth to tell - that is where the compassion and respect and responsibility (and sometimes courage)...

What it sounds like from here is that there are a few overlapping things going on here. When you say this are you talking about moral values (truth, justice, benevolence) or are you talking about value judgments assigned to particular things (rich people are good, homosexuality is bad, Dior is...

In this book called, I think, "Transforming the Difficult Child" (a book I was turned on to by @Pencil) they recommend doing (with actual children, but I think inners should respond to it too) "video moments." This is where you just observe and describe (in neutral terms, because they will...

@Carol H, Honestly, this doesn't sound like PTSD alone, it sounds like schizophrenia to me.... PTSD doesn't usually "go global" like that... paranoia sure, but not full blown delusional systems....I'm not a doc, but you might ask the docs if they have thought about other dx's.

My H has done this with super result. My T does this too...also with good results for my neglect...it occurs to me to try it around some self care issues... going back and imagining different experiences to fill in what i missed...

IMHO, if you are both trying to get better and help you set appropriate boundaries for the behavior you will accept and help him work through his trauma so he doesn't have these anger episodes then it *might* be worth working through. But if you are not both working diligently to get better and...

You could ask. It doesn't hurt her to ask, and it is important for you. If she cannot she will say so. Really.

What @Muse said. I'm sorry your little is having such a totally rough time, and that you are getting pulled along for the ride @mytai. Do your best to be kind to little. Sometimes little ones lash out and hurt adults - and we are big, we need not react to it in a negative way. Very littles...

You are pretty young, so I'm not surprised you don't know how to parent the little. The first thing is to be with the little, to pay attention, to listen if she has anything to say. Accept that her perception is her perception. Offer information or comfort, whichever can be received. Make...

Hugs if you accept the my tai. I am so so sorry you are feeling uncomfortable. It is a rotten feeling. Here is a suggestion for "sitting with it." Make yourself a cup of tea (or whatever you like) find someplace comfortable to sit. Light a candle. Drink a little tea. Put the tea down. Stare at...

@mytai this is a perfectly good time to call your T. I suspect a little reassurance over the phone would go a long way. It is really really hard for little people to understand what is going on. If the adult part of you can stay a little present, even just a little bit, and take care of the...

It always impresses me how helpful people's responses are... even when they think they are not being helpful! Serendipity is a word that comes to mind. Helpful in totally surprising and unexpected ways very often..

Gotcha. I don't think we actually disagree here. Let's see: I should have been more specific - I was thinking and talking from the perspective of the victim of abuse relative to an abuser, or a person recovering from codependency and someone who is co dependent. So what I meant was people who...

Following up on @FridayJones comment: Lying = telling another person something you know to be false with the intent that they take it as true. Being truthful = telling another person something you believe to be true, with the intent that that take it as true. Lying by omission - Telling...

Here is how my epiphany of the end of last year sheds light on this... (Bear with me, it is a bit theoretical but gets concrete pretty fast. People don't really believe in mental illness like they do physical illness because they believe in physical causation, but not in mental causation. What...

I think there are repressed memories. I also think there are implanted memories. Memory is ... plastic and easily shaped and changed. "Memory is like a crime scene." So I think there are people who have not very careful therapist/psych's who have an agenda and... can easily influence a...

I also think it is fear. Physical injury or illness is scary - but we have stories to distance ourselves from that... but mental illness... is REALLY scary and we don't have any stories - or even social conventions to deal with it. It kind of throws social conventions out the window.... I'm...

@Hope4Now that is a totally BRILLIANT and SPOT ON analogy. Chain and slack. Totally clear and awesome. I too am in the works of 1) identifying "beating myself up" (I am really quite good at this -it is nearly invisible to me... but it annoys the heck out of my H, so he points it out. Well...

People here are so wise! What story do you have about death, Hope? Is it a good thing? A bad thing? A neutral thing? I think this helps a lot. Here is the story my great grandmother gave me, and I pass it along to you and all your little ones. (She died at 99 when I was 15. She would say this...

Let's just take it one thing at a time... Are these items traumatic? Losing your house - check Losing your profession - check Losing your kids - (step or no doesn't signify for you) check Losing relationships - check Losing social status - check Losing a husband - check Losing an established...

I know this feeling exactly. It IS strange. My professional training is all about going with the argument and the dictates of reason... and sometimes... Sigh. But I think if we keep going over and over the contradiction it gradually sinks in and... one day there is a tipping point. Here is a...