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100%. I had similar when I was 14 - assaulted by someone I considered a grandfather figure (I didn't have one). His face haunted me in dreams for years, but slowly faded, though the violent content of the dreams never did. Then other instances where the face was never clear, perhaps because I...

And it snowed 😍

Fire

Popcorn. There's always popcorn.

Top tip: make sure he gets professional help. Don't be the only one holding hope for his return. Paranoia and conspiracy theories are, in my experience, next to impossible. If you can support him and be his bff through this, let someone else be the bad guy. Tread very carefully - oh, and get a...

Get a therapist and get on that wait list for a psychologist. If you can, sit down with your husband and make a game plan. Draw boundaries. Have a safe word. Get separate apartments if you need to - have safe spaces for both of you where you can each retreat and not cause further harm to each...

@Friday @Sideways Way to come in hot and heavy, damn. Some good sh*t in there! @Renly (I haven't figured out how to do the fancy quotey thing yet) Write it out. Write "Suicidal Ideation" somewhere. What are you angry about? What about it makes you frustrated? Is it causing you discomfort...

I just thought to add... if you got through your childhood without SI, I do think you can get rid of it. But no amount of willpower will do that. Time and hard work, yes.... in the meantime, find out what it looks like, feels like, make friends with it. If/when it moves on, you can give it a...

I actually don't consider myself as "suffering" with it at all - I can't fathom it not being there so I don't think I could hope it will go away. (This is also why I don't identify as "suffering" with PTSD - I control what I suffer over.) I hope for kindness. I strive for peace. So that means I...

I don't think I knew there was a "diagnosis" or term for this... I still cannot fathom living life without dreaming about being six feet under. I synonymize this feeling with someone who is terminal and choosing euthanasia. We know it's coming. We plan. We honor it. We hold it sacred. As you...

I'll talk about it. I only became aware recently that there are people in the world who don't consider suicide and have never considered suicide. This blew my mind. It also made me much more inclined to talk about it for some reason. Every month my psych asks me, "Your questionnaire says...

Disclaimer: not a doctor I've found chronic uti's incredibly common among girls who have been through something traumatic. My theory is the body is demonstrating either survivor guilt and does something similar to what auto-immune diseases do, or the body is saying "something is wrong with me...

- they fix the light on your usual walking trail and you jump at your shadow - you try to talk to someone after eons of not and forget how words work

Laughed out loud and grinned like an idiot for a good several hours when I got fired today 🤣

@Rosebud I made a thing based on Maslow's triangle, to measure my progress and to keep my expectations real and pace myself (I am so impatient with myself). I've weighted the categories to 100, each row item I score out of 5. What each row "means" is up to me and how I define it, but is based...

Update: switching meds to prozac. Psych said I'll have some pretty nasty side effects based on what's happened so far, he didn't sound hopeful, so I asked about psychadelic treatment, he said he supported that. Would way rather try that.

What @arfie said. To profound depths. When my dad's mom died, I watched him and his three siblings go through absolute chaos. She was extremely abusive to everyone and anyone. I thought when she died, they would all be able to breathe again. Turns out they needed to process that death of hope...

I don't think you'll *want* to belong or *feel* like you want to belong until you have the lower levels of the hierarchy grounded and habitual. I would love to respond to a few other things, but I don't have the energy the last few days and probably won't all week - 6 therapy sessions this week...

My therapist made me promise I'd never do OEI by myself, because of the potential for awakening hidden trauma or getting in over my head. After covid shut down my EMDR, I tried to continue by myself, but gave up shortly after because it felt unsafe solo and I don't have training, how do I know...

Have you tried OEI? My therapist introduced me and it's been really interesting. It allows me to breathe again. Here's what else has worked for me: 1. Am I safe right now? Yes? If not, leave. Go back to safety. Then take baby steps towards where you want to go. For example, leaving my house...

Bet you get just as much recovery from that land as from body movement ;)

@Friday There's certainly nothing simple about the body/brain going haywire is there?! GENUINELY made me laugh - incredible visual and entirely appropriate metaphor! Thank you 😆 Right?!?! I'm trying to think of a clever metaphor but think maybe I should leave that to you 😝 I have my...

@Sideways So sorry, damn brain glitches. Things people think make sense don't make sense to me and things I think make sense leave people gapping... 😣 Only have one psych, and yes, aware. Good lord thank fk no. Nor do I suspect I have Parkinsons. Wishing I could just delete this thread. I...

No. My handwriting appears such.