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GoHungry (how do you tag on phones??) - That is a good point. The types of people you enjoy spending time with, the types of activities you enjoy, can play into it. Spending 10 hours shopping for shoes isn't exactly normal in my eyes, but it is to many women. :D

If I say "I want to be normal" I simply mean "I don't want this mental illness, and wish those things had not happened to me" pretty much. But I'm with justmehere - I'm good with being quirky. But quirky without the suffering? Yes please.

Reflection

Shatter

Oh, I get ya! Most nights I wait until my body just shuts down. Which is really late. So I often only get a few hours, which sometimes includes nightmares and/or waking up a few times. My mind races the most in that quiet night time. It doesn't want to shut off. Advice? Uh...honestly, I try...

Me

Just to be clear...I don't think you are over reacting by feeling anxious/hurt. It's understandable that you feel this way. All I'm saying, is in my opinion, constant contact and showing up at his house when he's ignoring you is not a great idea. I don't think it helps you or him. I totally...

Teddy

Is she in therapy? What type of trauma has she been through? It's hard to give good advce with not much infomation. It sounds like she really loves you. And that is scary for her. She doesn't usually allow herself to love. Let her know you care, are there for her, and if it isn't too much for...

Are you over reacting? In a way. I can totally understand the anxiety when he "disappears" You worry about him and feel rejected, right? And it would be nice if he just text you or something, to let you know he's ok and just needs space. I don't think he is being fair ignoring you. However...

Brickslow - you're welcome. I do see it. It's no walk in the park as a female survivor, believe me. But like I said, I just feel there is extra hurdles for males. Respect to you for talking about it here. It is a big deal, and takes nothing away from you as a man.

I feel so terrible for male survivours. Of course I feel terrible no matter the gender, but... There's just such an added sense of shame for males I think. Society tells us that males want sex, end of story. Even young boys. So they must enjoy any sexual attention they get. Complete BS. Males...

Oh, Panda. :( Like I said to you in chat - I think this T is disgusting! She should not be in this job. It is not your fault that your family are not supportive. It is not your fault what happened to you, or that you didn't tell at the time. So many victims do not tell. And let me get this...

Oh, wow...who would have thought??

Oh gosh yes. By someone that knows me inside out. Knows my secrets, my faults, and will not turn around and hurt me. But they would have some convincing to do. I both crave it and fear it...

I still think of him now and then. I wonder if he could see how loved he was. And if it would have made a difference.

I remember dissociating as young as 4 or 5. Sometimes I would leave my body ("fly") Other times I was just in a big fantasy world in my head. More than what I think is normal for a child. I don't "fly" anymore, but dissociate sometimes in other ways.

Hot

Sweet

When you check all of the locks just one more time. When your keys somehow ends up in your freezer. When you tell your friend to get in touch with her inner child. She smiles and nods.

Royal

Tired.

Happy 2 years!!! You are one of the people that has been very kind and welcoming to me. I thank you again. I hope you continue to post and get all the support you deserve.

I can relate to you, Trauma. I've been feeling that urge, after being "clean" for a few months. In these last couple of weeks, not a day goes by where I don't think about it. Not to kill myself, just to hurt myself. I know if my support workers found out, it might cause more issues for me. So...

I'm feeling drained at the moment. Yesterday I had to be in a very triggery place for hours. And tomorrow I have to do it again. And I have to be around a few people and try to hold it together. I managed it somehow when I was there. I cried a tiny bit when I first arrived, but then something...