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Heartbroken, crushed and devastated

@seedling & @Abstract - so very proud of both of you for having so much courage and strength to move forward and be so self-aware and cognizant. I really admire that and can't even describe how much that encourages me!

@seedling - thank YOU! Please know that your feedback is greatly appreciated! Yes, you are right that most likely there is not a conscious thought involved in your decision to step away or pull back, but having had the experiences and considering the PTSD, those are some things that can happen...

Disappointed, confused, hurt and distant

@Sighs - thank you for you feedback. Yes, it does make a lot of sense why a sufferer would distance themselves if they felt they are getting too close. The chances of getting hurt get very high when you open yourself up and become so vulnerable before another person. So, you'd put a lot of...

@prayerwarrior - I cannot say if sufferers generally initiate communication or not during isolation period, but in my experiences, I had to reach out. He would respond to me at time but wouldn't initiate communication. So, I think it varies. A lot of the isolation has nothing to do with their...

@prayerwarrior - I'm glad you've decided to do that! Finding support and encouragement is one of the best ways you can gain strength and learn more about PTSD. It's certainly not easy being a supporter, and thank you for being there for someone who is more grateful for your encouraging presence...

Hi @Abstract :-) Thank you so much for taking the time to express your thoughts! Yes, it makes sense that trauma work would make the sufferer relive the traumatic experiences and thus the symptoms would become more obvious and pronounced. You mention reliving certain events and feeling them...

@prayerwarrior - I'm a supporter as well and would say that try going with the flow. Observe what he's most comfortable with at this time. If he's receptive to your communication, then you can know to reach out to him. How long did the isolation phase last? Was there any communication or no...

@Justmehere - love is real when it's not just that fluffy, lovely desire to want to wrap someone in your arms and hold them. Most of the time, love is the intentional focus of wanting other's good. Meaning, if I love someone and knew that my presence was destructive to them, I would move myself...

@scout86 - You mention something interesting in your post above. Yes, some things did "appear" certain way... During the interaction with my guy, sometimes I wondered if something was "off" at times and I also wondered if I was doing something wrong to make "that" way. Unfortunately, having all...

@Justmehere - thank you so much for your very valuable insight! Yes, speaking of trusting issues, I now do put the pieces together and see why someone would having difficulty trusting, but still am unsure how relational closeness can make them more symptomatic. Is it related to the feeling of...

@Justmehere - thank you for providing some clarity on that. I understand that there should be certain limits to allow the individual some room for self-exploration and time to heal. Are you saying that getting too close too soon can make the person withdraw and shut down? Well, sometimes I...

@Justmehere - thank you for the link. It was enlightening! In the end, it's the risk you've got to take - let others in if you're going to love them back and grow a relationship with them. Oftentimes, it means putting your fears aside and deciding to move forward and be vulnerable by choice. Of...

@EveHarrington - yes, that is right to privacy but close relationship calls you out. It makes you vulnerable before yourself. Not in just sharing details, or in any other specific things - everyone has a choice to do this or that. My point is, if one chooses to be in a relationship, then certain...

@Justmehere - I hadn't realized until recently that a lot of sufferers have difficulty trusting others. Well, that would certainly depend on their individual experience, but why do you think that's the case? For example, a combat vet, why would a combat vet with PTSD have difficulty trusting...

@lostforgottensoul - I applaud your strength and willingness to face the darkness, and I can tell you... that is rather rare. As a supporter, I used to participate in group therapy for vets with PTSD and I won't even begin to describe what a big percentage of those sufferers were not in a place...

@EveHarrington - Sometimes details of trauma can be significant... it's not really the description or the fact of a particular detail, or mere curiosity on supporter's part of wanting to know those details... those details can be significant considering what they meant to the sufferer and...

@lostforgottensoul - I wouldn't necessarily agree with what you mentioned above. Majority of trauma survivors are not in touch with how they really feel and how they have been impacted. Many live in denial and are too afraid to explore those thoughts and memories because the reality is just too...

@Justmehere - thank you for sharing. Being on the other end it can be difficult to understand when to be there and when not to be there. You try to read the signs whenever the sufferer appears to be ready, try to approach them carefully, let them know you're available and give them the space to...

@lostforgottensoul , thanks for your feedback. Let me ask you this - when you initially started therapy, did you struggle with self-esteem issues? I know that many who begin uncovering their problems may feel worthless, less inclined to reach out to others, etc. Do you think that therapy...

I was recently discussing trauma work in a different thread with @Justmehere and others, and I decided to create this thread in hopes of gaining more understanding as to what trauma work entails. Many sufferers have a lot of experience with therapy and I'm looking forward to hearing from all...

@knj2015 - I really understand your situation as I'm going through a very similar situation. It's confusing, frustrating, heartbreaking and just too darn difficult. I feel so distant from my partner because he creates space and pushes me away constantly and there is nothing in the world that I...

@Justmehere - thank you so much for creating this thread and wanting to be a better partner. Where do I begin... I wish my guy was like you. I don't think he even realizes how much this distance is killing me. What can you do is perhaps respond to some of the communicating, reassure that...

@Justmehere , what skills do sufferers learn? do you mean revisiting traumatic events when you talk about "trauma work"? It does make sense. I mean if you're openly talking about things that hurt they you're going to experience it more and perhaps feel more in touch with yourself and your...