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DaisySH, your troubles are similar to those of others here. I identify with your need to take care of yourself. I had to do that too. It's not easy, but perhaps the healthiest thing you can do. I stopped a long relationship with a woman whose problems, precluded my even considering my own...

WOW!!!! (STOMPING, CHEERING AND HONKING OF HORNS!!!!) I've followed this closely without comment, since it is so close to home. You are DOING IT, Buddy! I've crawled through that black jungle. Been out the other side for a few years of welcome sunburn.

Definitely YES! That thought escaped me for decades of confusion, but after I "got it" I was able to work through much more. Despite all my histrionics on this thread, I found a way that worked for me in bypassing my genital/surgical issues. That's what I want to explain to others with my...

Trigger City outskirts.

Her is a hint. It's the process by which I've gone from thinking: "I am alone as a freak of nature. They call my birth defect hypospadias and chordee, and it is a permanent, shameful, ugly part of me. I cannot talk about it. Others will taunt and ridicule me for life, unless I kill myself...

If anyone is still listening on this thread, I must say I'm working in private to try to capsulize some thoughts that have been positive for me. But the subject of self-acceptance after a lifetime of shame and trauma is overwhelming. I don't want to write another dissertation. If I can answer...

Don't worry @Nikie. I'm coming back.--David

Thank you @joeylittle. After so much exposure, I welcomed some distraction. I let my guard down against unmentioned triggers, and I'm still not right from having done that. Paranoid and confused, I've even imagined certain judging members being amused that I failed yet again. If I can...

My therapist has urged me to say some last words over this disastrous thread. I'm struggling with moment-to-moment dissociation and remorse. I arrogantly sailed myself into a perfect storm, naked and without a life jacket, thinking that for once I could offer something to others needing help...

OK for now, but you know what to do if you can sense dissociation. And please know that we are VERY concerned.

@Mit, I'm sorry I blew it. I could have seen it coming. Self discredit..

What I was asking @Anarchy was what simple words we could use instead of "sensitivity," which can mean both pleasure and pain He and I have used that word to mean both pain and pleasure, sometimes in the same paragraph, And we might be confusing people. It was not a reflection on you...

Any suggestions how we might differentiate the word "sensitive" as to painful or pleasurable without too many syllables? Thanks.

Folks, I beginning to feel a little irresponsible.

He was the greatest. Heart attack last year. Check him out on Youtube.

ME TOO! Too bad George Carlin is gone!

I understand. Don't do it now, please. I didn't know...

I know DBT has merit for some. However, a long-term girlfriend with extreme BPD refused to let it work, and instead bitterly blamed me more for her problems. It was harrowing.

You might just check out the Hegre-Art site for cinematography, if only the female massages. I have some other favorites, but I'm not advertising for them.

Was that unusual?

Why sad?

It may have sounded as if I condemn porn, but I think some porn has its place. Some of it actually depicts loving couples. Some of it treats the actors with intelligence. And some these days are fine cinematography, but you still have to wade ass deep in a sewer to find the better quality...

Sharp, as in nimbly piercing the bullshit and being genuine. Good. The reason I asked how your T session went is that, since you had been laughing, I wondered whether the mood influenced the session (if at all). I know I'm all set for my session tomorrow.

Don't be too sure of that. Female tailoring is big business $$$$$$ The porn industry feeds the fantasies of both men and women. And plenty of certified quacks like their "boutique" clinics and customized sugar babies.

And your humor is very sharp. How was your therapy session? I have mine tomorrow.