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I took this opportunity to review several of my bookmarks on this topic, since I don't have enough experience with healthy relationships in real life yet to give you a whole lot of insight in my own words. Here are a few that really stand out for me: Healthy Relationships Link Removed Who Is...

Hm, I've been thinking about this a lot. I can understand this on an intellectual level. Cognitively, it makes sense this would be the case. I'm struggling to identify an emotional response to it. It seems more like an abstract concept, like trying to understand how balancing chemical...

Yes, exactly. Present emotions over past situations...and especially when it involves the T (or my one friend who has a trauma history and I've started opening up to her some). I think there's probably a "sweet spot" in there somewhere...in that space where I'm starting to understand what I...

Another quick update after my session today... We talked about this conversation again, the one that caused so much pain and confusion just before Xmas. Today she said that I was reading her right, that she was frustrated that day, and that I had accurately read her body language and everything...

UPDATE So last week, I brought in nearly 5 single-spaced pages of information that I thought might be helpful for the trauma T to know. This week, I typed out another 1.5 single-spaced pages and brought it in. Both times now, she's skimmed the papers at the beginning of the session, and asked a...

Yes, this is familiar. :( I also don't feel connected to people...I love others, but their love back to me only comes in as data, not "warmth" or "comfort" or "fulfillment." Part of this for me is Asperger's, as Eagle3 also mentioned. My Ts and I are trying to sort out how much of my...

Yes, based on what I've read, it doesn't seem to have much to do with the eye movement itself, but more the bilateral brain stimulation. This is good because I can't stand the thought of looking at the T's finger as she swipes it back and forth. That seems bizarre and awkward and invasive to me...

This was a really helpful post to read, thank you. I think this is a fairly unusual approach for a woman to have towards things and people just don't expect it. It feels like a mistranslation--that I'm communicating one thing by my attention to detail and needing to understand, and she's...

Sorry I've been slow to respond...we were out of town. I've been mulling all of this over in my mind the entire time, though, and also met with my regular T yesterday. We talked about this stuff the whole session. Skepticism...yes, I'm somewhat skeptical that EMDR will work for me. And I think...

Yes, that's pretty much how I experienced it. She sounded more like she was making a statement than asking a question. The fact that her statements felt so far from the truth of my experience threw me for a loop and I didn't know how to respond. When it's "in the moment" like that, it's very...

I tried to tell 3 times: once to a high school teacher who was also studying to become a guidance counselor, once to the youth group leader at my dad's church, and once to one of the parents who helped out with the youth group. The teacher, who was a colleague of my step-dad since he also...

Yes, this is possible. I keep looking for "data" to indicate one way or the other whether I'm misinterpreting her or whether she's truly being more blunt. Regular T is so careful not to use terms that might sound like blaming or accusation, whereas the new T has already said things like "you're...

That's pathetic. How are you supposed to heal if she doesn't create safety in the relationship for you? Whatever happened to positive regard?

This makes sense. Yes exactly. How did she expect me to respond to this? Once I was able to start thinking straight, my second instinct (the first one was self-destructive in nature...not good) was to prove to her how desperately I wanted to get better, and show her how hard I can work, and...

Reflecting back some more on what y'all have said... Yeah, my regular T would never give this kind of feedback like this. If he did feel the need to reflect back a questionable attitude towards something, he would do it very softly, more as a question than a statement, and qualified with...

Yes, true. I put it to work for me by rarely walking away from a tough situation, always looking for how I can adapt or learn or grow in order to fix the problem. I feel like this, then, becomes a core strength, and the T yesterday was oblivious to that. So I guess I felt unseen and misunderstood.

This is a lot to think about. Is it even appropriate for me to consider how I might be contributing to a downward spiral? Isn't that her job? As for the relationship, because of the Asperger's, I'm not even sure the kind of warm, connected relationship you're "supposed" to have is possible for...

Yeah, I'm trying to decide if the problem is that this is a bad match, or if I need to push through the problems and stick it out. I want to dump her and move on. But I'm not one to run away from a difficult problem. I'm way more likely to keep trying beyond any reasonable test phase in the...

I've been unable to have sex with my DH for a year and a half now. I want EMDR specifically to work on my resistance to physical intimacy, resistance built around issues with a long history of CSA. I've tried to explain this to her, but that goal might have been lost in the complexities of my...

This could be possible. But I've worked with my regular T long enough to know there are different ways to get to know each other. With his exploratory efforts, I always felt safe to express my concerns without my commitment being questioned. I didn't detect that kind of...softness...from her...

Well, let's see if I can pinpoint it. When she said I've never worked with a trauma therapist before...this is factually true. But that same statement has been made to me 3 other times in the past 3 years by people trying to convince me to try whatever treatment they were offering. Just because...

First, I know the right response is to talk it out with her. I've already written a long letter exploring my thoughts on her comments, and I can bring it in at our next session to help work some of this out. What I want to know is...is there any validity at all to my feeling like this was a...

I feel the same way, and I'm not sure it's completely due to shame or completely due to a lack of self-compassion--not sure these are truly opposites. Seems like I should be able to have compassion for myself (I'm only human, I make mistakes) without having to look at myself in the mirror (which...

I'm curious. Can you expound on this some?

I'm currently exploring this site for the topic of shame: http://www.acat.me.uk/reformulation.php?issue_id=18&article_id=158 Seemed to me that this author spent a lot of time describing the inner experience of shame and the thought structures that support it, and then didn't give much insight...